Growing Up Changes Everything
by Vega4
Summary: Feelings come out and it is proven that growing up really does change everything.
1. Tommy's Back, Again

Growing Up Changes Everything

(Sequel to All Growing Up)

Chapter 1-

Tommy woke up with his alarm clock buzzing. Next to him was the love of his life, Lil DeVille. They had recently been married and were on their honeymoon. He got out of the bed and walked onto the balcony. He looked at the bright Hawaiien sun. "Lil, wake up." he shook her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Come on. Lets go down to the beach." Tommy said.

"Okay." she smiled to him. They got dressed and went down to the beach. "So, what do you want to do?" Lil asked.

"I don't know. All I'm going to say is that you'd better stay away from the coast guard." he said. She giggled at him. He stared at her, "I'm serious."

"Oh. Okay." she said and ran down the beach.

"What do you think Tommy's doing right now?" Phil asked.

"I dunno." Chuckie replied taking a sip of his coffee.

"Do you think Lil found the coast guard yet?" Phil asked.

"Phil!" Kimi yelled slapping his arm.

"Go on!" Lil said.

"I don't want to." Tommy replied.

"Its not like a shark's going to get you. Its just a little water." Lil said.

"Oh my God! There's a shark!" someone yelled.

"You see, if you ad made me go in the water, that shark might have got me." Tommy said.

"Got any threes?" Phil asked.

"Go fish." Kimi replied. Chuckie then ran into their apartment.

"You guys!" he yelled.

"What?" Phil asked.

"Nothing, I just needed something to get away from work." he said.

"So, you run in here and yell, 'You guys'?" Kimi asked.

"Yeah pretty much."

"Thats stupid." Phil said.

"So, how about a romantic dinner tonight?" Tommy asked.

"Usually, you don't tell me that you're going to prepare a romantic dinner." Lil chuckled.

"Oh. Then, oh well, you wanna?"

"Sure." she smiled and kissed him.

"So, Phil, you and my sister, are you, one, now?" Chuckie asked while Kimi was in the bathroom.

"Huh?"

"Are you two to tango?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you going out?"

"No. What gave you that idea?"

" Well, at Tommy's wedding, and the fact that you two kissed a whole bunch afterwards."

"So. She was drunk, I think. Thats what she said, and I just kiss any girl who I get a chance to." Phil said as there was a knock on the door. "Hello?"

"Hi Phil." May said.

Phil immdiatly slammed the door and locked it. "Its May." he said.

"Why don't you just forgive her?" Kimi asked coming out of the bathroom.

"Because, she's like a freakin, pervert!" Phil shouted.

"She said she was joking." Chuckie said.

"I don't really care." Phil said, "I just don't want anything to do with her."

"Why don't you just tell her that?" Kimi asked.

"Because I-" he paused for a moment,"I don't know." he walked over to the door and opened it. May was still there. "Okay, May. I would like it, if you would just leave me alone." he said.

"Okay. Why didn't you say so?" she said and skipped down the stairs.

"That was suprisly easy." Phil said.

"Wine?" a waiter asked.

"You hired a personal waiter?" Lil asked.

"You betcha. Um, yes, wine for the both of us." Tommy said. The waiter poured the wine and went into their room's kitchen. "And a personal chef."Tommy added.

"Whoa. How much did this cost?" Lil asked.

"Just about two thousand dollars."Tommy said.

"T-two th-thousand dollars?"

"Not a problem, my lady. You should have seen how much money Phil sent us to say he was sorry." Tommy replied.

"Say he's sorry for what?"

"Tried to get me to stop loving you, told me to forget about you, and causing me to punch him. Nothing big." Tommy replied sipping his wine.

"Oh really." Lil said thinking about the pain she was going to give Phil when they got home.

"Ow." Phil said.

"What?" Kimi asked.

"Its like there is severe pain being targeted to my head. I'm sort of nervous for some reason now." he replied. Kimi stared strangely at him and scooted farther away.

The next day, Tommy woke up knowing that it was the day that they would return home. "Lil?" he noticed that she wasn't in the bed. She was on the balcony. "Lil? What are you doing?" he asked walking out onto the balcony.

"Just taking one last look at the beach." she said. "But, anyway. We should get ready, the plane leaves in three hours."

"Okay." he said and kissed her then went back into the room.

Three hours later, they were on the plane ready to head to California. "Tommy, I'm going to take a nap." Lil said.

"Okay." he said. Lil went to sleep and a few hours later, the pilot said over the intercom,

"The trip to New York has been delayed for storm warnings and we will be landing in Cincinatti."

"New York? Cincinatti?" Tommy asked himself. "We're suppose to be going to California." Tommy gasped then tried to wake up Lil. "Lil! Lil! Wake up!"

"What?" she yawned.

"We're on the wrong plane!"

"Huh?"

"We're headed to Cincinatti!"

"WHAT?"

"There's the plane." Kimi said pointing to one landing. Phil and Kimi were at the airport ready to pick up Tommy and Lil. The plane landed,but Tommy and Lil didn't get off.

"Where are they at?" Phil asked.

"I don't know. Is this the right day?"

"Yeah. July 26th." Phil replied.

"Maybe, they're staying in Hawaii?" Kimi asked.

"What? You mean forever? I mean, surely they would tell us." Phil said.

"Maybe we should call the hotel?" Kimi asked. Phil put change in a payphone and called the hotel.

"Hello, um did a Mr. and Mrs. Pickles check out today?" Phil asked. "Okay, thanks." he said and put the phone back on the reciever.

"Well?"

"Yeah, they checked out." Phil said.

"Tommy, use my cell phone." Lil pulled it out of her purse. Tommy was about to dial a number but a flight attendant stopped him.

"I'm sorry sir, but there are no cell phones used on the plane, I'm going to have to ask you to shut it off and put it away."

"Oh.Okay, sorry." he said and handed it back to Lil.

Finally, their plane landed in Cincinatti. They jumped off and ran into the building. "Tommy, we don't have enough money left to get two tickets." Lil said.

"Okay. We'll buy one ticket, and you hide in a suitcase." Tommy said. She glared at him. "Well, you got a better idea?"

"Yeah, I do." she said and took out her cell phone and dialed Kimi's cell phone number.

"Where the heck are they?" Kimi asked.

"I'll go ask if this the last plane, was the last plane." Phil said and walked over to the lady behind the counter.

Kimi's cell phone started ringing. "Hello?"

"Kimi! Its Lil."

"Lil! Where are you?"

"Cincinatti. We need help. We're out of money."

"Well, it turns out that was the last plane for today." Phil walked back over to her and said. "Whats wrong?"

"They're in Cincinatti." Kimi replied. Phil quickly grabbed the phone.

"You're in Cincinatti?" Phil asked.

"Phil? Put Kimi back on!" Lil said.

"Fine."

"Okay, Lil. I mean, what can we do?" Kimi asked.

"You'll either have to send money, or pick us up." Lil said.

"Pick you up? You're in Ohio!" Kimi said. "But, we don't have alot of money right now."

"Well, you have to help us!"

"Wait! I got it!" Phil grabbed the phone. "Angelica went to New York for a job interview. She drove and said she was heading back tomorrow. We could get her to pick you up."

"Not a bad idea Phil. You make the call. We're at the Cincinatti air port."

"Duh. But, okay." he said and hung up.

"So, what are we doing?" Tommy asked.

"Angelica is going to pick us up." Lil said. "She went to New York and is coming back tomorrow."

"It'll take her two days to get here!" Tommy groaned.

"So. At least we get picked up at all." Lil said.

"Uh, Lil."

"What?"

"We left our luggage on the plane."

"What? Son-of-a!"

"Lil."

"WHAT?"

"Where's your purse?"

"Its right-" she pointed to where it used to be sitting. She saw a guy running away with her purse in hand. "I hate my life." she groaned. "Well, we can't get a hotel."

"I guess we sleep here tonight."

"No way! Not on that nasty floor!"

"Not on the floor, on the benches."

"NO!"

"Suit yourself." Tommy said and layed down on one. It was midnight, Lil was sitting on the floor while Tommy was asleep on the filty bench she refused to sleep on.

The next morning, Tommy woke up with Lil leaned against a wall asleep. "Have a good sleep?" he asked waking her up.

"No."

"I did. Those benches are incredibly comfortable." he said sitting next to her.

"Shut up." she groaned.

"Hey! Its not my fault that you had a bad night!" he yelled.

"I know. I'm sorry, its just, I want to get home." Lil said. "Hand me my cell phone."

"I thought you had it."

"No. Wait, its in my..." Lil put her face on Tommy's shoulder"...purse."

"Tommy! Lil!" Angelica ran around the airport trying to find them. "There they are." she said to herself.

"Angelica? I figured it would have taken you longer than this." Lil said.

"Well, by the time Phil called me, I was already half way to Ohio." Angelica replied. "Now come on." They all got in Angelica's car and they were off.

"Do you think Angelica picked them up?" Chuckie asked as he and Phil walked into Doug's Diner.

"I doubt it. She probaly forgot." Phil replied.

"Shows what you know, Angelica's on her way here with Tommy and Lil." Kimi said as Phil and Chuckie sat down.

"You guys!" Susie ran in.

"Yeah?" they all asked.

"Angelica just called. They might be delayed getting here."

"Why?" Kimi asked.

"There was a storm and it flooded roads and knocked over trees and everything." Susie said.

"We never got the storm." Phil said.

"They just said that the storm is headed our way on the news." Susie said.

"How long?" Kimi asked.

"They said it'll be about an hour."

"Maybe we should get back to the apartments." Chuckie said.

"Hey Chuckie, do Tommy and Lil know you've been sleeping in their apartment?" Phil asked as they headed out the door.

"Nope." he replied.

Thats it for chapter 1. I hope you're enjoying it.


	2. Phil the Teacher

Chapter 2

"This is a pretty bad storm." Phil said looking out the window. The wind was blowing hard. Lightning was striking, the rain was pouring so hard, it almost hurt.

"This is a real bad storm." Susie said entering Tommy and Lil's apartment.

"I hope Tommy, Lil and Angelica are okay." Chuckie said.

"Hey guys." Dil walked in. "Geeze, that storm is horrible. My truck almost got blown away."

"Yeah, I know." Phil replied.

.....

"I wonder if that storm hit the guys?" Lil asked.

"Probaly, it was headed west." Angelica replied. "Damn."

"What?" Tommy asked. Angelica then stopped the car. A huge tree was in the road. Some road workers were trying to move it. One worker came over to the car.

"Hi." Angelica said.

"Hi. Um, do you all need to get through?" the worker asked.

"Hi." Angelica said again to the handsome man. "I'm Angelica."

"I'm Roy." he said. "Um, anyway, you'll have to take the detour. Right up the mountain."

"Hi." Angelica said.

"Okay, lets go."Tommy said. Angelica got out of her trance and turned around to go up the mountain road. "Geeze this path is bumpy." Tommy said.

"Yeah." Lil agreed. "Ooh. I don't feel so good."

"Hold on, Lil. There's a gas station. I'll stop there." Angelica said and stopped the car to fill up with gas. "Want a snack, T?" Angelica asked as her and Lil went inside.

"No." he replied. He stood there waiting for the car to fill up.

"Tommy?" he heard a voice. "Tommy?"

He turned around. "Laura." he frowned.

"Hi Tommy." she said.

"Just so you know, Laura, I'm married again." Tommy said.

"Oh I know. I'm engaged." she said.

"Oh really? Whats his name?"

"Tom."

"Tom. Thats incredibly simliar to my name." Tommy said.

"Hey look at that. Anyway, gotta go!" she said and got in her car and left. Angelica and Lil then came out .

"Ooh, I hate that bitch." Angelica said reffering to laura.

"What did she want?" Lil asked.

"Not sure. All she really said is that she was engaged." Tommy said.

"Sounds like a plan to get you jealous." Angelica said.

"Yeah right. I'm married now. I wouldn't care one bit if Laura got dumped." Tommy said putting his arm around Lil.

.....

"Well, at least the storm stopped." Kimi said.

"Hey guys." Tommy, Angelica, and Lil came in.

"Its about time you got here!" Phil yelled.

"So, how was the trip?" Kimi asked.

"It was awesome!" Lil shouted.

"That cool, now I meant to tell you, I've been living here." Chuckie said. "Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. You've not been sleeping in our bed have you?" Lil asked.

"Oh my God! That would be so gross!" Phil laughed.

"No! I've been sleeping on the couch.

....

"Hey Doug!" Tommy rushed in.

"Hey Tommy, how was your honeymoon?" Doug asked pouring Tommy some coffee.

"Awesome. So, Doug, have you ever had love?" Tommy asked as Doug gave him the coffee.

"I went out with Lil for a month." Doug said.

"I'm sorry, what?"

.....

"Lil!" Tommy ran into her office.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Um, you never told me you went out with Doug." he said.

"What? We have to tell each other everything?" Lil asked.

"Yeah!" Tommy yelled.

"Oay then, you start."

"What? Now?"

"Yeah. Now."

"Okay, um. I've had four girls in my whole life."

"Only four girls. I've had like, fifty boys."

"We're still on me, here. Ashley Robinson, Logan Yitz, Laura, and you."

"Thats it? Ive had Brett, Jack Davin, Lyle Talor, Nick Stephens..."

....

"Miss Finster." one of Kimi's students asked.

"What?" she asked.

"We were all wondering, why don't you have someone?" She looked and all her students were staring.

"Um, because I'm the picky kind of person and have loved few men and probaly wont get the right man."

"Why?"

"Beacuse, I'm a chicken."

"Is there someone that you've been waiting to ask?" another kid asked.

Kimi stared at the kid for a minute the thought. "Yes. Yes there is."

"Why don't you ask him." another kid asked.

"She said she was a chicken." the first kid said.

"Well, that and I don't think he feels the same way." Kimi said. "Anyway, back to work."

.....

"So, Mr. DeVille, what experience do you have with police work?" the chief asked.

"Oh, I used to be a cop in Nevada. Yeah, thats it! Nevada. And I fought in Vietnam." Phil replied.

"Veitnam? How old are you?"

"Um, uh-"

"Sorry, we're not what you're looking for." the chief said.

"Oh. Okay, thanks." he said. He walked out of the station and down the street. He saw Kimi outside watching her students on the playground. "Hey." he walked up behind her.

"Huh? Oh, hey." she said. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to find a job." Phil replied.

"Oh. Found anything yet?" Kim asked.

"No, but I think the fire department almost said yes." Phil chuckled.

"You didn't tell them you fought in Vietnam, did you?"

"How did you know? Actually, I used that three times, but how did you know?"

"I figured you would. When you first met my dad, you told him that, and when you met Tommy's great aunt, and when you-"

"Okay! I get it." he said. He watched her kids for a minute. "So, is being a teacher, cool?"

"Yeah. I've never had kids, so this is a chance to sort of see what its like."

"Yeah. Anyway, I need to go."

"See ya."

"bye." he said and walked off.

"Miss Finster, was that him?" a little girl came up and asked.

"Huh? Um, no. No, no. Now go play." Kimi said. The little girl shrugged and returned to her friends. Kimi then turned and watched Phil walk off.

.....

"Tyler Jackson, Mat Wilson, Frank Kidd..." Lil was still naming the boys she had gone out with not even realizing that Tommy had fallen alseep. "...Doug, Tony, and you." Lil said but then saw Tommy snoozing away. "I'm not naming all those again." she said.

.....

The next day, Kimi was at her desk thinking about what the kids had said yesterday. Her watch started beeping. 'Where is that substitute? I have to go.' she thought. Her phone then rang. "Miss Finster's room." she answered it. "Oh. Okay." she said and hung up. "Where am I going to find another sub on such short notice?" she asked herself. Just then, someone knocked at her door. She walked over to it and answered it. "Phil?"

'Yea, can I borrow-"

Kimi went into the hall and shut the door. "Phil! Can you help?" she asked.

"Okay. What?"

"Can you watch my class for a few hours while I'm at the dentist?"

"The dentist?" a shiver then went down Phil's spine. "I feel for you , Kimi." he said and then hugged her.

"O-kay." she broke the hug. "Anyway, the other sub got sick and I'll never find one on such short notice. Please!"

"Sure, anything." he said.

"Thanks Phil. Anyway, what did you want to ask me?"

"Oh I -" he paused for a moment, "Crap! I cant remember." he groaned as Kimi pushed him into the class.

"I'll tell Pangborn, okay?" Kimi asked.

"Okay, but what do I-"

"Great! Thanks! Bye!" she ran down the hall.

Phil shut the door and all the students were staring at him. "Hi." he waved. The students remained quiet. "Um, I'm, Phil."

"We're suppose to call you by your last name." one kid said.

"No, you call me Phil. Just Phil. Okay?" Phil asked. "So, is Pangborn still principle?" Some kids nodded. "He was vice principle when I was a kid. I can believe the geezer's still alive." Phil chuckled. Some other kids chuckled along with him.

....

"I'm sorry Miss Finster, but if has no experience, then no." Pangborn said.

"Oh please! It'll just be for a few hours. Just until I get back. Phil is a very-"

"Did you say Phil? Phil DeVille? Then no! Definatly no!"

"Yes, but its not DeVille. Ha! I hardly remember that guy. Its Phil Hoskins. He's from North Dakota." Kimi said. "And he is a huge friend to me and I really trust him."

'Pangborn sighed and said, "Alright. Fine. We'll see how he works out."

.....

"Um, Phil," one kid came up to the desk. Phil was reading a magazine.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Um, aren't you suppose to be teaching us stuff?"

"What? No! This isn't a-" he paused. "Oh wait, oh yeah. Uh, okay." he got up and walked in front of the class. "Lets see. Um, so."

"Are you Miss Finster's friend?" a kid asked.

"Yeah. By the way, I'd like to know names." Phil said. All the kids told Phil their names. "Okay then." he said.

"Do you love Miss Finster?" Jeffrey asked.

"What? No!" Phil replied.

"Are you sure. Yesterday, you seemed to blush when you talked to her." Jessie said.

"I thought I was suppose to teach you stuff."

"Are you seeing anyone?" Mary asked.

"Uh, no."

"Why not ask Finster?" Vinny asked.

"Ask Finster what?"

"On a date, duh." Willie said.

"Yeah, you're both alone." Fran said.

"What, does Kimi tell you freakin kids everything?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Joan said.

"Its just, I don't know. I've never found the right person. What if Finster, I mean Kimi doesn't like me." Phil looked down. All the kids looked at each other. "Okay." he said. "Um, Jake, two plus two?"

"Four, so you gonna ask her?" Jake asked.

"No! Now, time to learn."

"Come on." Mike said.

"No no no no no!"

"Yes yes yes yes!" all the kids chanted.

"Fine! If you kids will shut the hell up!" he yelled.

"Okay, well shut the hell up." Vinny said.

"Good. Now, Joan, three plus two?"

....

"Thanks Phil." Kimi said as the bell rang.

"No problem. Bye everyone." Phil waved to the kids. They all cleared their throats."What?" he asked. They cleared their throats again. "Really, what?" he asked again.

"Ask her." Jeffrey pretended to cough.

"Excuse you." Phil said. "Anyway, bye!" he said and left.

.....

"Chuckie, how many girls have you been with?" Tommy asked as he sipped his coffee.

"Um, seven." he replied.

"Seven?"

"Yeah, Samantha, Lil, Nicole, Terra Yownst, Reg Libertie, Susie, and Hanna Brown."

"Susie? When have you gone out with Susie?"

"Um, in middle school. We kind of kept it a secret."

"Oh."

.....

"Phil!" Kimi shook him the next morning. "Wake up!"

"Go away!" he yelled.

"Wake up!"

"Fine! Wait, what time is it?"

"4:00 A.M. Anyway, will you watch my class again today?"

"Why?"

"Well, I kind of want to take the day off."

"Okay, fine."

....

"Hey Phil, you subbing again?" Vinny asked as Phil entered.

"Why didn't you ask her?" Mary asked.

"Asked who what?" Phil asked.

"Are you really that dumb?" Willia asked.

"Huh?"

"Dumb ass, you were suppose to ask her out." Vinny said.

"What grade is this?" Phil asked.

"Third." Vinny said.

"You're cussing in third grade?" Phil asked Vinny. Vinny shrugged.

"Why didn't you ask Miss Finster out?" Joan asked.

"Oh! That! I forgot. I don't have a real good memory, sometimes. I cant remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. Oh, because I didn't have breakfast yesterday."

"You are stupid." Jeffrey said.

"Jeffrey! Detention! Now are we here to learn, or here to dicuss my life and why I'm the only one in it?"

Thats chapter two. Kimi and Phil seem to have feelings for each other but neither will admit it and is Tommy the only one thats not been in more than five relationships.


	3. Snake Bites

Chapter 3

"So, Phil, name all the girls you've kissed." Tommy said drinking his coffee at the bar of Doug's Diner.

"What? We'd be here all day, and I have to get to class." Phil said.

"Huh?"

"Kimi's taking the whole week off and I'm subbing."

"Oh. Well, tell me some of the girls you've kissed."

"Okay, Britney Tallor, Ginger Cal, Lil..."

"Lil? I mean, like make out, kiss."

"Okay, Britney Tallor, Ginger Cal, Lil..."

"You made out with your sister!?"

"Remember that party in high school where I got drunk and you saw me kissing a girl and you and Chuckie were happy for me?"

"Yeah. Oh! That was Lil?" Tommy asked. Phil nodded.

"Okay, have you seen her naked?"

"Yep. High school again. Walked in on her in the janitors closet."

"Having sex?"

"No. She was drunk, ran into the janitor's closet and stripped. I was going in their to have sex."

"Oh. I'm not even going to ask if you've slept with her."

.....

"Yo Philly!"Vinny yelled.

"What?" Phil asked reading a play boy.

"What about Finster? You done it yet?" Vinny asked.

"What?" Phil asked.

"Its no use, Vinny, he's too stupid." Kasie said.

"Tch. Just tell me what, and I'll do it right now." Phil said.

"Ask out Miss. Finster." Carl said.

"What? No."

"We talked about how miserable you were yesterday." Joan said.

"Well, today I'm happy." he said.

"For goodness sakes, just call her!" Tyler shouted.

"For the last time! No!" Phil yelled.

"Please." John begged.

"NO!" he yelled. "Now, back to sitting quietly while I catch up on my reading."

.....

"Thats gross, Lil." Tommy said entering her office.

"Tommy, cant talk now." Lil said. Suddenly the phone rang. "Hello? Oh, hi Mr. Wackaposh." she continued talking on the phone.

"I mean. Making out with your brother, then getting naked in the closet. " Tommy said not caring that she was on the phone.

"Please Tommy." she said to him. "No, not you Mr. Wackaposh."

"I mean, I just hope you didn't sleep with him."

"I've never slept with him!" Lil shouted. "No, Mr. Wackaposh, not you."

"But you made out with him. Thats wrong." Tommy said

"Tommy! For God's sake! Get out of my office!" Lil yelled.

"Geeze, okay, okay, you dont have to yell." Tommy rolled his eyes and left.

.....

"Doug, get me a coffee to go." Chuckie said walking in.

"Okay, so, you got a girlfriend?" Doug asked.

"Well, kind of. Got a date tonight, but I dont know why I'm telling you this." Chuckie said. "I dont like you."

"Why dont you like me?" Doug asked.

"You stole my eraser in high school."

"What? You hate me because I stole your eraser in high school?" Doug asked. He started to laugh. "Hey Larry! Come here!"

"What?" Larry, Doug's best friend and room mate came over and asked.

"Listen to this." Doug said. "Go on Chuckie, say it."

"Okay, I dont like Doug because he stole my eraser when we were in high school." Chuckie said. Larry burst out laughing.

"Chuckie, Doug stole alot of things in school. Erasers, pencils, condoms." Larry said.

"Yeah, I stole everything I could get my hands on." Doug said. "Hey! If I ever stole anything from anyone in this building, raise your hand." Doug yelled out. Almost everyone raised their hand. "Now, raise your hand if you hate me for it." Only one person rose their hand. "Well, you hate me because I slept with your ex-wife." Doug said to the man.

.....

"Whoa." Phil said looking at his magazine.

"Yo Philly! Why dont you call Finster?" Vinny yelled.

"Okay, kid, listen, I dont like you, and you dont like me. So shut up." Phil said. "She's my roommate, and nothing else, except my friend, and my friend's sister, and the girl I made out with at my sister's wedding."

"You made out with her at your own sister's wedding? Thats gotta mean something." Jeffrey said.

"It means nothing. I'm one of those guys who sleeps with them twice, or once, then never calls back." Phil said.

"You slept with her?" Joan asked.

"No. I wish though, er, I mean, no. No."

"And she's your roommate. Just go climb in bed with her." Jessie said.

"For God's sake. Geeze, why wont you freakin kids just leave me alone. I want to live my life. Without you!" Phil shouted.

Joan looked a little nervous. "But-"

"NOOOOO! Shut up!" Phil yelled. "Now, back to work! You freakin kids!"

......

The next day, Tommy and Chuckie were at Doug's Diner. "Hey Chuck, I was wondering, you know how I quit my directing job? I kind of need a new one, and was wondering if you could help." Tommy said.

"No problem T." Chuckie said grabbing a newspaper. "Lets see, how about pet store owner ?"

"No."

"Technician?"

"No."

"Jockey?"

"What? No."

"Fine. Geeze. Just pick something."

"Fine! I'll try for the pet store owner."

.....

"Phil!" Kimi shook him.

"Go away." he said.

"Phil, its 10:00." Kimi said. Phil jumped up and looked at the clock.

"Dammit!" he yelled.

....

Phil ran into the classroom and saw another person. "Hi." he said.

"Um, hi. This is my class." Phil said.

"Nope. For the rest of the week its my class." the man said.

"Oh. Okay. Um, by the way, watch out for that Italian kid, he's trouble." Phil whispered and left. He walked back to his apartment. "Um, Kimi, there was someone else there."

"Oh, I know. Pangborn called and said, you're fired."

"Oh. Okay. Okay, um, I'm going down to the diner." Phil said and walked to Doug's Diner. Susie and Chuckie was there.

"Hey Phil." Chuckie said. "Whats wrong?"

"Pangborn fired me. I-I really liked that job." Phil said.

"You could still have it." Susie said. "Just, like, become a substitute teacher."

"Not a bad idea, Suse." Phil said.

"Hey Phil." Doug came over to them. "Did, heh, did Chuckie tell you why he doesn't like me?"

"No."

"Tell him, Chuck." Doug said.

"I dont like Doug because he stole my eraser when I needed it for a test." Chuckie said.

"So what? He stole my condom when I needed it for a test, if you know what I mean." Phil nudged him.

"Um, yeah. I do. But thats not the point. I failed that test because I didnt have an eraser." Chuckie said. "For the question:What is the capital of Kentucky? I put Tennessee. Because I didnt have an eraser. I meant to put Frankfort."

"Stupid. You put Tennessee?" Doug asked.

"But, I made a-"

"Yeah Chuckie. Everyone knows the capital of Kentucky is Nova Scotia." Phil said. "Duh."

"Phil, Nova Scotia is-never mind." Chuckie rolled his eyes.

.....

"Okay, so you want the job as the guy at the counter?" the manager of the pet store asked.

"Yeah. So, can I have the job...." Tommy said.

"Hank. I'm Hank. And yeah sure, take the blasted job." Hank said.

"Thanks." Tommy said. He walked over to the counter and waited for a customer. After two hours, still no customers. Hank walked in.

"What the? No customers?" Hank asked.

"Nope." Tommy replied.

"Idiot, you forgot to change the closed sign, to open." Hank sighed and changed the sign. A few minutes later, someone walked in.

"Um, do you have snakes?" the man asked.

"Yeah. What kind?" Tommy asked.

"Python, Andaconda, Boa Constrictor, anything long." the man said.

"Yeah, okay, whatever. Back there." Tommy pointed in the back.

"Thanks." he said and walked back there to look for snakes. A few moments later, he came back with a python on his shoulders. "Um, I'll take this one."

"Okay, that would be-"

"No. I'll take it."

"Okay, it costs-"

"I dont think you're hearing me out. I'm going to TAKE it." the man said. " I must. It calls to me. It wants me." the man said freaking Tommy out.

"Um, okay. Just go."

"Thank you. My snake and I thank you, mortal fool."

"Just get out!" Tommy yelled.

"Get him my child!" the man threw the snake at Tommy.

.....

"Well, they wouldn't take me." Phil said. Him, Lil, Kimi, and Chuckie were at Tommy and Lil's apartment.

"Why?" Lil asked.

"Well, they thought I was crazy." Phil said.

"You probally said you fought in Vietnam." Kimi said.

"Yep. I wish I would stop that." Phil said as Tommy ran in.

"I just quit." he said. "Lil, please get me a first aid kit."

"What happened?" Kimi asked.

"Well, this guys wants a snake, so he gets one and insists on taking it without paying for it. Then he thinks he's immortal. Then he throws the snake at me." Tommy said. "I got bit four times."

"The snake bit you?" Chuckie asked.

"Once." Tommy said.

"But you said-"

"Yeah, the snake bit me once, the guy bit me three times. Then he chased me down the street. He finally stopped at the Burger King." Tommy said as Lil gave him a bandade.

"Oh my God Tommy, one of those bite are bleeding." Lil said looking at his arm. "Is that the snake bite?"

"No. The snake bit my ear. And it hurts dearly. The guy bit my arm and held on. I think some of my skin is in his mouth." Tommy sighed putting the bandade on. "Um, get me anything to help two giant fang marks on my ear."

"Does it hurt?" Phil asked. Tommy stared at him.

"Uh, yeah!"

.....

"Susie." Susie's boss walked in to her kitchen.

"Yeah?" Susie asked.

"You're fired."

"Why?"

"Because, I'm attracted to you." he said.

"And?"

"Well, our code says we cant do that."

"What?"

"Be in love with a chef, waiter, or anything."

"What code?"

"Just go before I kiss you." her boss said. She quickly left.

......

"I cant believe he fired you just because he like you." Kimi said as her and Susie walked down the sidewalk.

"I know. But, he just isnt the right guy for me."

"I was actually meaning that his reason was no reason at all." Kimi said.

"Oh. Well my point is that he is cute and I wish that I had stayed." Susie said.

"You guys, what is the capital of Kentucky?" Phil came up to them and asked.

"Nova Scotia." Kimi replied.

"Okay. I told Chuckie that it was Nova Scotia." Phil said and set off to find his friend.

"Nova Scotia?" Susie asked.

"If we had said different, he would have argued with us until we admitted he was right." Kimi chuckled.

I hope you're enjoying it so far. I'll update as soon as I can.


	4. Should we call the Stork?

Chapter 4

"Um, Max." Susie said to her former boss.

"Yeah? Oh. Susie. Hi." he said.

"Um, I was wondering if you would like to-"

"Go on a date?"

"Yes."

"Sure. Um, I'll pick you up at seven." Max blushed.

"Okay."

"So, do you want your job back?"

"No, not really. I've always wanted to be a singer, actually. Never a chef. I dont even know why I took this job. I guess my parents wanted me to do something useful."

.....

"Phil. Why dont you get out of the apartment and do something?" Kimi asked. Phil was sitting on the couch watching TV.

"I dont want to. I'm a wreck. I dont have a job, a girlfriend, or a life." Phil said watching Its Your Feelings.

"Phil, go find another job. Being a teacher isnt that good." Kimi said.

"Yes it is. I loved those kids, although I only read magazines while I was there, but I loved them, except that Italian kid, Vinny." Phil said. Kimi put her hand on his shoulder. "Kimi." he said.

"Yeah?"

"I remember what I wanted to ask you the day I started subbing for you." Phil said.

"What?"

"Can I borrow fifty bucks?" Phil smiled. Kimi smiled at him and rolled her eyes.

"Sure." she sighed.

.....

"Tommy." Lil said.

"Yeah?" Tommy asked turning off the TV.

"Um, I've been thinking about the future." she said.

"And?"

"Well, I've been thinking about a baby." Lil said. Tommy stared at her.

"A-a b-baby?" Tommy asked. "You know Lil, thats a big responsibility."

"I know, but I'm ready."

"Well," he sighed, "okay. Okay. But, um. Like, now? Or..."

"Well, not now. I have to go to work." Lil said and grabbed her coat. "Bye." she kissed him and left.

He smiled at her leaving. "Phil!" he ran across the hall and knocked on the door.

"Hey Tommy." Kimi answered it.

"Hi. Where's Phil?"

"Over there." she pointed to him on the couch.

"Phil!" he noticed Its Your Feelings, "Yuck. Turn that scum show off."

"Thats your show." Phil said.

"I know. Turn it off." Tommy said. Phil rolled his eyes and switched it off. "Anyway, Phil. Um, Lil said she was thinking and she wants a baby."

"And?" Phil asked.

"Well, I dont know if I'm ready for a kid. We've only been married about...um." Tommy said.

"About seven months." Kimi said.

"Thank you." Tommy said. "Only seven months Phil. Only seven months!"

"So what?" Phil asked.

"I'm not quite ready." Tommy said.

"So what? Its just sex without a condom, pretty much." Phil said.

"Its a little more complicated than that." Tommy said.

"How?" Kimi asked.

"No idea." Tommy replied.

.....

"Chuckie, are you okay?" Chuckie's assistant, Mona, asked. Chuckie remained silent. "Chuckie?" she asked again. Chuckie started snoring. "Chuckie!"

"What? Who? When? Huh?" he woke up jumping out of his chair. "Yeah?"

"Um, I think you need a day off." Mona said.

"Nonsense." he said. "Okay, maybe you're right. Bye." he said and walked out the door and over to Dil's who he had been staying with since Tommy and Lil came home.

"Hey Chuckie." Dil said.

"Hey. Geeze, I really need a vacation." Chuckie said.

"Why not Reptar Land?" Dil asked.

"Thats in Paris." Chuckie said. "Besides, its a kids' place."

"So. Go anyway." Dil said.

"I might do that, Dil." Chuckie said.

.....

"Um, Lil." Tommy walked into her office.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Um, about our talk about the baby. Um, I dont really know if-"

"Oh, I'm so glad you agreed." she hugged him. "I've always wanted a kid."

He looked down at her and sighed. "Me too."

.....

"Phil!" Kimi yelled. "Thats it! Get off the couch and go get a job. You're the laziest person ever!"

"No I'm not. I'm second laziest." Phil said.

"Who's first?"

"Um. Me."

"I thought you were-"

"You thought wrong!" Phil snapped walking out of the apartment. On the way down the stairs, he caught Tommy coming up. "Hey T. How'd the baby talk go?"

"Not so good. I didnt even say anything. Just that I have always wanted a kid." Tommy sighed. "See ya Phil."

"Bye." Phil said and walked outside. He saw May walking down the street. 'Lets see. How desperate am I?' he asked himself.

"Hi Phil." she said as she walked by.

'I'm pretty desperate.' he thought. "Hey May!" he yelled.

"Yeah?" she turned around.

"Um, you wanna get lunch sometime?"

"Like now?"

"Sure."

.....

"What are you packing for Chuckie?" Dil asked walking into his room.

"Packing for my vacation." Chuckie replied.

"You're actually going through with it?" Dil asked. "I was just joking."

"I know, but it just sounds like a good idea." Chuckie said. "It'll be cool going back there."

"Um, no. You're a moron." Dil said and walked out the door.

.....

"So, Phil. How's it been?" May asked.

"Good, I've-"

"Geeze, Phil. Just go on about yourself." May snapped and crossed her arms.

"But, I didn't-"

"Blah blah blah. Geeze."

"But I-"

"Listen Phil. I wouldn't have come with you if I had known all we were going to talk about was you!" May yelled.

"But I-" Phil started to cry. "I wasnt-"

"Look at that. You're crying you love yourself so much!" May shouted.

"I cant take this!" Phil yelled and ran away.

"Geeze. Wont even let anyone else talk." May said to her self.

.....

"A baby?" he asked hisself. "A baby?"

"Tommy!" Chuckie ran in. "Do you think I should go to ReptarLand?"

"I'm buisy! " Tommy yelled.

"Looks like you're just sitting there."

"You're not about to have a freakin baby!"

"Lil's pregnant!?"

"No. She wants to be. But, its like, like, too, like, soon, man." Tommy said. "I dont wanna have no stupid kid!" he yelled as Lil walked in. "Uh-oh."

"So, you dont have a baby?" she asked.

"No , I honetsly dont wanna have a baby with you." Tommy frowned.

"With me? So you dont want one with me? How about Susie? Or Laura?" Lil asked.

"Ooohhh." Chuckie said. "Burn."

"Shut up Finster!" Lil yelled.

"Sorry ma'am." he looked down.

"Thats not what I meant! I dont wanna have a baby with you, or anyone!"

"God. Thats still bad." Chuckie said.

"Chuckie. Get out." Lil said.

"But I wanna watch. " Chuckie moaned.

"GET OUT!" Lil shreiked.

"Yes ma'am." he frowned and walked into the hall. Lil slammed the door in his face.

"So no baby wih me, ay?" she asked.

"Wait. No! I mean yes! I mean no. But yes. Yes for the part about you! No about the baby." Tommy said a little confused himself.

"My break is over. I must return to work." Lil said.

"Ooooh." they heard Chuckie.

"Chuckie! Dammit!" she pounded the door.

.....

Phil was at Doug's Diner depressed. "Hey Phil." Larry said.

"Hey Larry." Phil frowned.

"Whats seems to be putting you down?" Larry asked.

"The gay hooker broke up with me, kind of." Phil said.

"I thought you broke up with her."

"Well, I did at first. My life isn't going good. I have no job, no-"

"I'm not good with this problem stuff. Let me get Doug." Larry said. "Hey Doug!"

"What?"

"Get over here!"

"What for?"

"Phil has problems!"

"I know. So does all his friends!"

"I mean like problems in his life."

"He probaly does."

"You're good with this stuff! Get over here!" Larry said. Doug sighed and walked over to them.

"What?" he asked very angerliy.

"Girl problems." Larry said.

"The gay hooker?" Doug asked.

"Bingo." Larry said.

"Where is the loser?" they looked around and he was gone."Loser." Doug said reffering to Phil.


	5. The Stork Has Been Called

Chapter 5

"So Susie, you having a good time?" Man asked sweating alot. They done were with their dinner and were in the car headed for Susie's apartment.

"Yeah. Why are sweating?" Susie asked.

"I've got something very important to ask you." he said.

"What?"

"W-w-w-w-w-w-w-wi-will y-y-you m-m-m-marry me?" Max asked. Susie stared at him.

"You maniac! We've been on one date!" she yelled. "Stop the truck. I'll walk." she said.

.....

"Lil!" he yelled.

"Yes?" she asked from her office.

"Forgive me! I didnt mean it like that!" he yelled from the other side of the door.

"I'm not letting you in!" Lil shouted.

"Fine! I'll force my way in!" he yelled. He ran far from the door, then charged at it. Lil heard a thump against the door and Tommy fall to the ground. "Oww! What is that? Titanium?"

"No. Wood." she replied. "You're just a little insect."

"Fine. Angelica will open the door for me." Tommy said. He ran across the building and to Angelica' office. "Angelica, will me a key to Lil's office?"

"Why?" Angelica asked.

"Um." Tommy tried to think of what to say. "Please."

"Why? Did you cheat on her again?" Angelica asked popping her knuckles.

"NO! Its not that! Everyone's against me!" he ran out crying.

Lil poked her head out her door and saw Tommy running away from Angelica's office.

.....

Phil rolled over in bed and opened his eyes. "OH MY GOD!" he yelled.

"What?" May asked waking up. "That was a heck of a night." she smiled.

"Kill me." he said to himself. Phil walked into the kitchen and saw Kimi. "KIMI!?"

"Hey Phil." she said. "So, who was it last night."she chuckled.

"Huh?"

"Well, it sounded like you broke the bed down last night." Kimi sai. May then walked out of the room. "WHOA! What the?" Kimi screamed.

"Hi Kimi." May said.

"Hi May." Kimi said.

"Okay May. Time to leave." Phil said pushing her out the door.

"Geeze." she said as Phil started crying again and slammed the door.

"I hate my life." Phil cried.

"Its okay." Kimi hugged him.

"No really. I do." Phil balled.

.....

"Well, I've officially had a sucky day." Tommy said walking into Dil's apartment.

"Why?" Dil asked.

"Lil got mad at me because she thinks I dont want to be with her."Tommy sighed.

"By the way, meet my new girlfriend, May." Dil said as May walked in from the bedroom.

"Whoa!" he yelled. "May! How ya doin?"

"Geeze. Bout time you talked." May said.

"Is that your new lingo, or something?" Tommy asked.

"Geeze, get off my back jackass." May snapped.

"What did I do?" Tommy asked.

"Geeze. I'm outta here! See ya Dil!" May yelled and ran out the door.

"What did I do?" Tommy asked Dil.

"Never mind that, back to you and Lil." Dil said.

"Well, I told her I didn't wanna have a baby with her and she thinks that I want one with someone else." Tommy said. Dil rolled his eyes.

"You can really screw things up!"

'How?"

"Thats not what ya say! You just say you dont wanna have a baby. Or you could have a baby and not love it."

"Thats cruel."

"But a plan."

"No. Tell her to meet you at the park."

"What about my apartment."

"Its not romantic."

"Neither's the park."

"It's better than your crappy place."

"Its nice, but ya got a point."

.....

"Phil." Kimi said.

"What?"

"Get a hold of yourself."

"I dont wanna." he groaned.

"Get a job." Kimi ordered.

"No."

"You love the kids so much, why dont you try to teach?"

"No. But I have a good idea. I could try to teach."

"But. Oh never mind. Ooh. Ooh. Idea! Why dont you be my assistant in teaching?"

"Why?"

"Well, you'd get the same kids, you always bring porn, whats to loose?"

"Okay. But, um. I only have naked girl magazines and you're not gay, hopefully, not a hooker,not May, right?"

She stared at him and left.

.....

Meanwhile, Tommy was thinking of how to win back Lil. The park was Dil's idea but how would he get her there?

The phone rang. Lil walked over and answered it. "Hey hey! This 91.2 radio daze! You've been selected to try and win a prize! Come to the park in 15 minutes to claim it!" a voice said.

"Alright! Awesome. But, Dil, my phone has caller ID." Lil said.

"Do'h!" Dil said. "Come on, Lil. Tommy's sorry. Just go to the park."

"No, Dil." she said.

"I'll give you fifty bucks."

"Deal."

.....

"Pangborn said you could be my assistant." Kimi said hanging up the phone. "But thats all."

"Good enough. You know. I never thought I'd end up being a teacher. Once I hit 18, I always wished kids would go away to Mars or something. But now look at me. I'm a changed man. I wont dissapoint you." Phil said.

"Really?"

"No, not really. I'm just in it for the money, really. I hate kids." Phil said. "But besides that, I've changed."

There was a knock on the door. Phil answered it. "Someone order a hooker?" the woman asked.

"Yeah, you've changed." Kimi said sarcasticlly.

.....

Tommy saw Lil appraoch him. "Okay Tommy, make it quick, I've got 50 bucks to collect." Lil said.

"Lil, I love you but I-" Tommy looked to his left and saw a woman and man playing with a kid no older than four. He thought about how great it could be. 'Nah.' he thought. But then the kid hugged his daddy and Tommy thought some more. "Okay." he said.

"What?" Lil asked.

"Okay. Okay."

"Huh?"

"I want a baby."

"Do you really mean it?

"If you're ready, I'm ready. I love you."

"I love you too." she hugged him. "But I'm not ready. Gotta get to work."

"After work?"

"Yes."

'Oh goody!"


	6. Angelica's Crush

Chapter 6

"Hey Tommy." Phil said as he enterd Doug's Diner.

"Hey." he said.

"So, T, how'd you like last night?" Phil asked.

"Huh?"

'You know. Eh?"

"What?"

"Did ya make a baby?"

"How am I suppose to know? Endless animal sex doesn't always lead to a baby." Tommy said.

"I know. But how'd it go?"

"Good, I guess. I dont really feel comfortable telling you this."

"Telling who what?" Doug asked.

"Nothing!" they both said.

"Okay, if you say so, T." Doug chuckled. "By the way, good job last night." he whispered.

"Huh? And dont call me T." Tommy said. "Phil, have you told everyone?"

'Not everyone. I didn't tell the President."

"Phil. Stupid. I mean everyone we know."

"Okay, then yes."

"I'm gonna kill you!"

.....

"So Angelica,"her boss Daniel said, "you been doin alright?"

"Yep." she replied.

"I was thinking maybe we could go out."

"Daniel, you're fifty something years old. And you're married. "

"I'm hitting on 60. But, who cares?"

"Me! And your wife!" she yelled. "Get out!"

"No one talks to Daniel McPaniel like that!"

"Your last name is Stephens." Angelica said.

"Thats it! I cant take this abuse! You're fired!" he yelled.

"ME!?" Lil poked her head in.

"No, Angelica." Daniel said.

'Crap' Lil thought.

"But, but, Mr. Stephens-" Angelica said.

"Thats Mr. Stephens to you!" he yelled. "Now get out!"

"Okay, just give me time to pack my-"

"No! Now. I'll take your stuff."

"But, its my stuff."

"Get over it! Now get out!"

Angelica sighed and walked out. Lil came over to her side. "It'll be okay, he's a jerk. You're better than him." Lil said.

"Nuh uh. He's a filthy rich ass. I'm broke! He has a condo, I have an apartment, he rides whales, I ride taxis, he has two wives, I have-"

"Okay I get the picture. He's better than, so what?" Lils aid."Hey! I have an idea! I'll pretend to be you! You be me. I'll be the one getting fired, you wont."

"But you'll loose your job."

"So, I hate this scum job."

"No, Lil. I'm going to prove I'm not a loser. I'll get a new job, a better job. Daniel can bite me!"

.....

"Hello, I'm Angelica and I'll be your waitress today." she moaned.

"You're awful purty.'"the man said.

"I'm waiting your food, not body, sexy firm, body. Now, what will you have?"

.....

"Kids, you remember Phil." Kimi announced to the class.

"yo Philly!" Vinny yelled.

"Hey Vinny." he said. 'You big obnaxcious piece of sh-'

"So! Phil will be our assiatant. anyway, time for history test." Kimi yelled.

'AWWWW!" the whole moaned. Several minutes past and everybody but Vinny was done.

"Hey Philly!" Vinny whispered.

"What?" Phil asked turning from his porno magazine.

"Whats the capital of Kentucky?"

"Nova Scotia, duh." Phil rolled his eyes. "You're stupid if you dont know that."

"Thanks Philly." Vinny replied. "Hey Phil! Who was the second president?"

"Bruce Willis, duh. Thats a no thinker." Phil replied.

"Thanks Philly," Vinny said, "Hey Phil, what year did Arizona become a state?"

"Geeze you're dumb, 435 B.C. Duh"

.....

"So, Angie, you wanna gimme desert menu?" the man asked.

"Dont call me that. And no, I dont feel like it. I have a headache."

"Okay, see ya later, hottie." he said and walked out the door.

"Stupid cowboy hottie." she said to herself.

"Hey Angelica." Lil walked in.

"Hey Lil. This job really sucks." Angelica groaned. "Hey whats that?"Lil looked at the table the guy was sitting at. There was a check and a note. Angelica picked up the check. "$500.00!?" sheyelled.

"He left you one heck of a tip." Lil said." And there's a note." Angelica picked it up. It read: Call me. 555-9045.

"Yeah, like I'm really gonna call him."

....

"555-9045." Angelica said as she dialed the number.

"Hello?"

Angelica quickly hung up. "What am I doing?" she asked herself. "I've gotta get a hold of myself. I feel like I'm in high school all over again."

.....

"Phil, come here." Kimi said.

"Yeah?" he walked over to her desk.

"Did you help Vinny?"

'No."

"Are you sure. He said that the capital of Kentucky is Nova Scotia, the three colors of the flag are gold, green and choclate, and the tree the George Washigton chopped down was a money tree."

"Maybe I helped him a little."

"Yo Philly! Thanks for the help!" Vinny shouted.

"How many did Vinny miss?" Phil asked.

"99. He got question 42 correct, who were the enemies in World War II? He put Japanese and Germans."

"Yeah, I told him the wrong answer on purpose so it didn't look like he cheated."


	7. Love, Life, and Aggervation

Chapter 7

"Tommy." Lil said sitting next to him on the couch.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Um, the pregnancy test said not pregnant."

"Its a little too soon to tell, I'm sure and we should probaly go to the doctor for a proper test."

.....

"Phil, this is perfect. Ask her." Jeffrey whispered.

"No." Phil said. "Now let me read." he went back to his magazine.

"Please Phil. She needs you." Joan said.

"NO!" he yelled.

"No what?" Kimi asked.

"No I don't want a lung transplant."

"Lung trasplant?" Kimi asked.

"Yeah." Phil replied. Kimi stared strangley at him.

....

"The doctor will see you now." the nurse said. Tommy and Lil went into a room. Then Tommy saw who the doctor was.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Wallace." he said.

"Hi." Tommy said nervously.

"Remember me?" Wallace asked. It was the snake man. The snake was even on his shoulders. "My snake and I still thank you, mortal."

"Aww. Isn't that nice, Tommy?" Lil asked.

"Um, no. He wants to kill me!" Tommy yelled as Wallace slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Nonsense, mortal. Anyway, lets see how the organism is brewing." Wallace shrieked.

"Um." Tommy groaned.

.....

"So, Chuckie, how do you do at golf?" Dil asked. Chuckie shrugged as Dil and Chuckie entered the golf building and go their clubs and balls.

"You first." Chuckie said.

"No problem." Dil hit the ball making it fly into the water. "Oops."

Chuckie then got a hole in one. Dil hit his ball out of the water and it landed in a sand pit. He hit it again knocking it back in the water. Then finally, he got it in the hole only it was par 3. He lost.

"You already lost." Chuckie said.

"Time to go." Dil said. They got in the truck and drove away.

.....

"You're pregnant." Wallace hummed.

"I am?" Lil asked excitedly.

"Huh? Oh no. No. I've not even done the test yet." Wallace said.

.....

"So, kids, I'm going to give you a slip. You write your favorite teacher of all time on it. Then, the school votes who is the best teacher." Kimi said giving everyone a slip. In time, Kimi got the slips back and decided to take a peek. Her mouth dropped open as she read the slips. All of them read: Phil. All the reasons why said:He is cool, he is funny, nice, smart not! Vinny's even said: he is my best friend and I think he likes me best.

Kimi's heart dropped. She was betrayed by her class and one of her best friends.

....

"Good news." Wallace smiled.

"I'm preganant?" Lil asked.

"Huh? Oh! I forgot! I was just going to say I saved money. I'm so sorry."

.....

"Dil. I'm bored out of my mind." Chuckie sighed. Dil rolled his eyes and pulled into the Burger King parking lot.

"Lets get some food." Dil said. They went in and tried to order their food.

"May I take your order?" the guy at the counter named Raphael, said.

"Yeah, I'll take a-" Dil said but was cut off.

"Hold on a minute." Raphael said. He stared at Dil.

"What?" Dil asked.

"Hold on." Raphael said. He continued staring at Dil.

.....

"Look at that. Twins." Wallace said.

"Twins?" Tommy asked.

"Yep, my sister's twins." Wallace said handing him a picture.

"What about ours'?" Lil asked.

"Huh? Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll do that right away."

.....

"Phil, can I talk to you for a second?" Kimi asked.

"Sure." Phil said. They walked into the hall to talk. "Yeah?"

"Phil. Would you quit?" Kimi asked.

"What? Why?" Phil asked.

"Well, its just they like you better than me."

"Thats it? Lots of people like me better than you. I'm a fun guy. Chuckie likes me better than you." Phil pointed out.

"He does not! But, anyway, I also, oh never mind." Kimi said not knowing the kids were listening.

"No, tell me." Phil said.

"I think I, uh, like you." Kimi said.

"I like you too. And Lil, Tommy, Chuckie, Dil-"

"No. I mean like like. Love even."

"L-l-love?"

"Yes." Kimi looked down. All the kids smiled at each other. "Yes. I think I do."

"Um. I dont know what to say." Phil said.

.....

"Dang it!" Wallace shouted.

"What?"Lil asked.

"I just lost a game of solitare." Wallace frowned.

"What about my freakin baby!?" Tommy yelled.

"Huh?"

"Am I pregnant, or not?" Lil asked.

"Oh my. I'm sorry. So sorry. Haven't even done the test. Sorry."

.....

"Love?" Phil asked.

"Yeah." Kimi replied. All the kids went, "awww." except Vinny who was sneaking a peek at Phil's pornos.

"Love?" Phil asked.

"Yeah. Quit asking that."

"I'm just making sure." Phil said. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Then why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I was afraid you'd reject me."

"You know I'd be cool about it, since I feel the same."

"Phil loves hisself?" Vinny asked the others. They all stared at him like he's an idiot then went back to listening.

"You do?" Kimi asked.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes. Tonight, eleven, um, our apartment." Phil and kimi then passionatly kissed.

"We did it." Jeffrey announced.

"Yee haw!" Greg cheered.

"Philly got himself a bitch." Vinny smiled.

.....

"Come on! Come on!" Wallace said.

"What?" Tommy asked.

"Huh? Oh sorry. Just playing my game boy."

.....

"Hey buddy, our food?" Dil asked. Raphael continued staring with anger in his eyes. "What?" Dil asked.

"Get out of here. You aren't welcome in this part of town."

"Huh?"

"Remember me. You scum. You deleted my high school college thingy report. You deleted then ran from the crime."

"Dil, lets go." Chuckie said.

"Hold it. I've got a score to settle." Dil said.

"N-no, lets go." Chuckie said.

"Listen Raphy, I never-"

"DIL! LETS GO!" Chuckie yelled.

"Okay, you dont have to yell. See ya Raphy!" Dil said and drove off.

.....

"Wallace, wake up." Tommy shook him.

"Whoa!" he jumped up. "What the? Oh yeah. The tests."

"Yeah, do them now! We've been waiting for six hours." Lil said.

"Sor-ry." Wallace rolled his eyes and looked at the test reports. "Yep, gonna have a kid."

"Excuse me, what?" Tommy asked.

"Yep, its a little boy." Wallace said.

"Oh my God." Lil said. "A boy!" she jumped up and down. Tommy smiled at her reaction. He just thought, I'm gonna be a father.


	8. Affects of a Baby

Chapter 8

"I cant believe it." Chuckie said. Tommy, Lil, and Chuckie were at Tommy's apartment. "You're going to have a kid."

"I know." Lil said. "I cant believe it either."

"Hey guys." Dil came in. "Whats up?"

"Guess what?" Lil asked.

"What?" Dil asked.

"Guess." Lil said.

"Um, Chuckie's actually a girl." Dil guessed. Chuckie glared at him. "What? She told me to guess."

"You're going to be an uncle." Tommy said. Dil stared at him. "Lil's pregnant."

"Oh my God! Thats awesome!" Dil yelled.

"What is?" May walked in.

"Ahhh!" Lil yelled. "Hey."

"Hi, but, whats awesome?" May asked.

"I'm going to have a baby." Lil said.

"Thats totally awesome." May said. She bent over to Tommy, "Good work." she whispered. Tommy smiled at her sarcasticlly and gave her the thumbs up.

.....

"Maybe, we should keep this to ourselves for a while." Kimi said braking the kiss.

"Why?" Phil asked.

"Well, you didn't take the whole T and Lil thing too good, so Chuckie might..."

"What? Kick my ass?" Phil asked. They stared at eachother for a moment then burst out laughing. "Yeah right."

"I know. Whoa. Okay, really, dont tell anyone." Kimi said walking out of the bedroom.

"Yeah, okay."

.....

"Hey Dougy." Tommy trotted in.

"Hey T."Doug said.

"Dont call me that, dammit." Tommy said. "Anyway, I've got good news."

"What? Tell me." Doug said.

"I'll tell ya what. I'll tell everyone." Tommy said then stood up on his stool. "I'm pregnant!" he yelled. All the people were silent staring at him. They then started gagging and going, ewww. Tommy sighed then said. "My wife's pregnant."

"Ohhh." everyone went. They then cheered.

"Yep. Hey Larry, Lil's pregnant." Tommy said as Larry walked in from the back.

"Bite me." he said.

"What did I do to him?" Tommy asked.

"Larry's been in a bad mood lately." Doug said. "His girlfriend broke up with him, lately."

"Ohhh." Tommy said.

"Yeah, Samantha will pay." Larry said.

"Yeah, Samanth-excuse me? Who?" Tommy asked.

"Samantha Shane." Larry said.

.....

"Chuckie! Chuckie! Chuckie!" Tommy ran in to his room. Chuckie was working on someone's teeth.

"Yeah?"

"Um, I've got news. Samantha was recently going out with Larry."

"Who the hell's Larry?"

"Larry. Doug's roommate."

"Doug?"

"Doug Bombardi. You know, the guy who cusses at you in Italian and stole your eraser."

"Oh yeah." Chuckie nodded. "So what? I dont care."

"But, its Larry. Your friend."

"I've never met him."

"Yes you have!" Tommy shouted. Chuckie then got up and looked at Tommy's mouth.

"Have you been flossing?"Chuckie asked. Tommy stared at him. Tommy sighed and left.

.....

On the other side of town, Lil and Kimi were shopping for clothes. "Kimi. I have news." Lil said.

"What?" Kimi asked.

"Um, I'm pregnant." Lil smiled. Kimi stared at her.

"OH MY GOD!" she jumped up and down.

"Calm down." Lil said then looked down and almost cried.

"What?"

"Its not Tommy's."

"Huh?"

"Just kidding! Tommy and I are going to be parents!" Lil yelled.

"Thank God." Kimi sighed.

"No really, its Chuckie's."

"What?"

"Just kidding again. I'm going to be a mom, and Chuckie's **not** going to be a dad!" Lil yelled.

"Quit that." Kimi glared at her.

.....

"Um, Phil." Tommy sat down next to Phil who was on his couch.

"Yeah?"

"I have some pretty big news." Tommy smiled.

"Yeah?"

"You're going to be an uncle."Tommy said. Phil stared at him. Tommy sighed and said, "Lil's pregnant."

"Oh my God!" he yelled. "Thats great! Almost as great as my news."

"What?"

"I'm actually in a relationship, that could last."

"Thats not better than my news. Anyway, who is it?"

"Cant tell ya, sorry."

"Well, do I know her?"

"Um, ye-"

"Kimi."

"Dammit! How'd ya guess?"

"Lucky, I guess."

"Okay, but please dont tell anyone, especially Chuckie."

"No problem."

.....

"Chuckie!" Tommy ran back in.

"Tommy, I want you to start flossing." Chuckie handed him some floss.

"Forget it." Tommy sighed and walked out.

.....

"Hey." Angelica said to a familiar face at a table.

"Hi." the man that had been flirting with her said. "By the way, I'm Jack."

"Jack." she said. "Yeah, I'm-"

"Angelica, you told me. So, you didn't call, or did you?" he asked.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" Angelica asked.

"Maybe."

"Its working." Angelica assured nodding her head. "Um, yeah, I called, but, my phone suddenly went dead."

"Oh. Really? I called back and someone else answered named Susie. Said it was working fine." Jack said. "Maybe, my charm was a little too much. Maybe I should try to be a little, less sexy."

"Oh no. No, no no. You're sexyness is quite fine, perfect, its just..." Angelica then spilled some coffee on purpose. "Oops. Look at that! Ha ha! I'm so stupid. I'll catch up with you later, Jack." Angelica ran back into the kitchen.

.....

Back at Phil's apartment, him and Tommy were playing ping pong on the counter. " So. How'd it all start?" Tommy asked.

"Well, Kimi wanted me to quit, so then she told me that she loved me, I said ditto, we kiss, you know." Phil said hitting the ball back to Tommy.

"Have you had the sex yet?"Tommy asked.

"No. But, its because of Chuckie. You know how you slept with Lil, I got mad. She thinks that he wont get as mad if we dont have sex." Phil said then missed the ball. "Dang it." he then had an idea. "Ooh. Lets do something cool."

"What?"

"Lets catch that ball on fire."

"What? No. Besides, I need a job. Gotta fly." Tommy said. Phil stared at him like he was an idiot."Thats my new thing. You know, kind of needed a lingo, or whatever."

Phil continued to stare then said, "You're a dork."Tommy rolled his eyes then left.

.....

"Lillian Pickles!" Lil's boss, Daniel came in. Lil was asleep but then jumped up.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Um,-"

"Am I fired?"

"No."

'Dang.' she thought.

"Um, I was wondering if you would like to acompany me and my wife on our boat this weekend."

"Sure."

"I heard you're married so bring the man."

"You heard I'm married? My name's Lil Pickles. Does that seem natural to you?"

"No, not really, no. So, bring the male Pickles if ya want." Daniel said and walked out.

.....

Tommy, Lil, Phil, and Kimi were at the Diner enjoying their coffee. "I'm hungry." Lil said.

"Thats just one thing about being pregnant, Lil. Always hungry." Phil said.

"Then you're always pregnant."Lil sighed. "But, really, I want a steak or ribs or T-Bone."

"T-Bone is a steak, Lil." Kimi said.

"When are you gonna get fat?" Phil asked. They all stared at him. "What? I'm not being rude. I mean, its gonna be kind of obvious."

"Shut up, Phil. I'm so hungry, I could eat you, fat head." Lil said.

"That would be so cool." Phil said. They all stared at him again. "Sorry."

"Isn't it a little early to be so hungry?" Tommy asked.

"No, I think its because I haven't even ate a sandwich in like three days. I haven't eaten anything in three days." Lil said.

"Dear God, there's something wrong with this woman. She must not be related to me." Phil said. "Because, I mean, name one DeVille, that, like, goes with out eating for that long. Name ONE! ONE!"

They all stared at him again. "Phil, get out." Tommy said. Phil rolled his eyes at him.

"Lil, want to go get some food?" Kimi asked.

"Yeah." Lil answered sounding real pitiful.

"Lil, its okay." Tommy said. "You dont have to act like a baby."

"Yeah, there's one in ya for God's sake." Phil said.

"Shut up." Tommy said. "But, um, honey, I have to go to my new job, so I'm gonna leave you here with these two, okay?"

"Okay," Lil said again real pitiful. "But I wanna go with you."

"You cant, sweetie, sorry. But, you cant." Tommy said.

"Where is your new job, anyway, T?" Phil asked.

"Oh, ticket guy at the train station." Tommy said.

"What does that pay? Twenty cents an hour?" Lil jumped up and made fun.

"Lil's back to her old self." Phil said. "What fun this will be."

"Tommy, is that the best job you could get?" Lil asked. "That train station is older than your grandpa."

"Hey," Tommy said trying to think of a come back. "Um, up your's."

"My what?" Lil asked. Phil started giggling and whispered something to Tommy.

"Ewww. NO!" Tommy yelled. "What is wrong with you?" Tommy yelled at him. He then turned back to Lil. "Your butt."

"My butt?" Lil asked. "The butt you lick?"

"Eww." Phil said. "And you say I'm nasty."

"I've never licked your ass!" Tommy shouted. The place remained silent and stared at him.

"Thats gross, man." Doug said.

"I never did that!" Tommy shouted. Everyone continued staring at him. "I DIDNT!" he yelled. Everyone then went back to their buisness. "I never did that." Tommy whispered.

"You've grabbed it before." Kimi said.

"How do you know?" Tommy asked.

"Kimi and me went up the escape ladder and watched you two through the window." Phil laughed with Kimi.

"Thats gross, man." Doug said.

"Why are you still listening?" Tommy asked. Doug turned away.

"Yeah, Ive grabbed it but never licked it." Tommy said. "Infact, I've done plenty of things, but never that!"

"Like what?" Phil asked a little angry. "Have you bitten my sister's ass? Cause if you have!" Phil made a fist.

"I never have done that! Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go to my low paying job." Tommy snapped and marched out.


	9. Shipwrecked Pt 1

Chapter 9

Tommy was at his new job. The ticket guy for the train station. Tommy sighed as someone came up to him, someone familiar. "Yeah, give me one ticket to...Tommy?"

"Huh?" Tommy looked up and gasped. "Oh dear God! Wallace, is it?"

"Yeah, oh, say hi to Roxanne." Wallace smiled.

"Who?"

"My snake, Roxanne." Wallace pulled his snake out of a suitcase. "The suitcase is her home."

"Good for you. Now, where are you going?"

"You didn't say hi to Roxy." Wallace said with a mean look on his face. "Say hi, you dirty, ticket, guy."

"Sorry, sorry. Hi Roxy."

"You cant call her that. Only I can call her Roxy. You will refer to her as Roxanne." Wallace popped his knuckles. "So, you wanna start something?"

"Not me."Tommy said and pressed a button under the counter. "But these guys might." Two very large muscular security guards came up to him and grabed him. "Take him away."

"You haven't seen the last of me! I'll be back! I will!" Wallace screamed as the guards dragged him off.

.....

Back at Phil's place, him and Kimi were watching a movie. "Phil." Kimi said.

"Yeah?"

"Um, did you quit your job?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You didn't have to you know."

"I know, but that Italian kid just kept bugging me. And did everything I could. I tried giving him candy, and porn, and-"

"Why didn't you just give him detention or something?"

"Well, Vinny said that detention was awesome and it was more of a reward than, a punishment."

"Vinny's a tricky dirty liar." Kimi said.

.....

"So, you ready for tomorrow?" Daniel asked walking into Lil's office.

"Yeah. Cant wait. But, um, where is the boat?" Lil asked.

"At the marina at the county lake. Cant miss is. Huge house boat. Cost me a fortune."

"Cool."

.....

The next day, Tommy and Lil were preparing to leave for the lake. The phone rang."Tommy! Could you get that?" Lil shouted.

"Yeah." he replied and picked it up. "Hello? Yeah. Okay. Oh. I'm sorry. Oh?" Tommy smiled at the last oh. "Alright, thank you." Tommy hung up and smiled at Lil. "Guess what?"

"I'm fired?"

"No. Why dont you just quit?"

"I dont know. I just want get fired.To show my parents I'm not perfect. "

"Hm. Anyway, your boss's wife got sick and they cant come. But, he said we could go on without him. The keys should be in the boat."

"Awesome." Lil smiled. "Hey! Why dont we invite the guys?"

"Who?"

"Our friends?"

"Ohh." he said. "Okay. But, um, he did say just us two."

"So? Screw him. Lets invite everyone else."

"Okay." Tommy said.

......

After a few hours, Tommy,Phil,Lil,Chuckie,Kimi, and Dil were at the marina. "Why couldn't Angelica or Susie come?" Dil asked.

"Angelica had work, and Susie gets sea sick." Tommy answered.

"Tch." Dil chuckled. "We're not even on the sea."

Tommy stared at him then changed the subject. "Okay, it should be the big blue, red, and white one."Tommy said. "That one!" he pointed the biggest boat in the docks.

They got onboard and prepared to go out on the water. "Hey T, can you drive this thing?" Phil asked.

"Of course not." Tommy replied loading their stuff. "But, um, how long are we staying?"

"Three days is what Daniel said." Lil said.

"Oh my God!" Phil yelled.

"What?" Kimi asked.

"What if Lil has the baby here on the boat?" Phil asked. Everyone remained silent and stared at him. "Huh? What would we do?" they again stared at him.

"Phil, she's been pregnant for like, a week." Chuckie said.

"So? She could still have it." Phil said. They again stared at him.

"I dont know Phil. I guess we'd have to..." Tommy said sarcasticlly,"...go in... and get it." he was disgusted by his own words.

"I'm not doing it." Dil waved his hands in defense. "Anyway, lets get this mother out on the water."

"Does anyone know how to drive a house boat?" Tommy asked.

"I do!" Chuckie said.

"No you dont." Kimi said.

"How much you wanna bet?" Chuckie asked. "I bet you this trip will be safe and not life risking."

"I'll bet you fifty dollars." Kimi said.

"One hundred." Chuckie said.

"Two hundred."

"Three hundred."

While Chuckie and Kimi continued to bet, Tommy said, "Do they always do this?"

"Yeah, I think so."Lil said.

"The other day, Kimi bet me I couldn't stuff 12 gram crackers in my mouth." Phil said.

"What does that have to do with this?" Dil asked.

"Well, I wanted to bring it up." Phil said.

"Who won?" Tommy asked.

"Kimi." Phil said. "After the tenth one, I choked. I had to spit them all out."

"So, lets go. If we wreck or something, I'll give you all $500." Chuckie annoucned."Thats how confident of myself I am."

"Oh cool." Dil frowned.

.....

"Hi Angelica." Jack said taking a seat.

"Is this like, the only restaraunt in town?" Angelica asked. "I mean, this place sucks. Hal's sucks."

"Is that the name of this place?" Jack asked. "Hm. Cool. Anyway, you wanna get dinner sometime? Just you and me?"

"Okay, how about now?" Angelica asked.

"Huh?"

"Yeah." she said and sat down. Another waiter walked by them. "Um, sir, we'll have some wine." she said to him.

"Angelica, dont you work here?" he asked.

"Um, excuse me? Wine please!" she ordered. He stared at her and headed to the kitchen. "So, Jack, tell me about yourself."

"Um, I grew up in Texas, but moved to New York when I was 11. Then came here a few months ago." Jack said.

"Interesting." Angelica said. "I've lived here my whole life. I went to Paris when I was three. Got lost in the woods and almost killed by monkeys and a wolf. Went to New York for a job interview about a month ago. My cousin's married to someone he knew when they were one."

"Whoa." Jack said. "Heh. Cool. You've lived a life."

.....

"Okay, here we go." Chuckie said starting up the boat. He slowly backed out and it made its way out onto the lake.

"Not bad so far." Kimi said.

"Not so bad, um, all the time, actually." Chuckie said.

"Hey check this out." Phil said reading a map of the lake. "There's this little part of the lake with all this open area. Good place for house boats, it says."

"Lets go there, then." Dil suggested.

"Okay." Chuckie said. The boat then headed towards the spot that Phil talked about. They were then there. No other boats were around. Not one. "No other boats."

"Cool." Phil said. "We'll get this place to our selves."

"Check that out." Tommy pointed to what looked like an island. It was quite large infact. "Cool. Lets dock over there."

Chuckie drove the boat up to the island and they tied up. "This is a nice little place." Lil commented. "I'm hungry." she then turned to the others. "I'm gonna get a snack." She jumped back onto the boat and went to a cabinet. She grabbed some chips and headed back out the door, but she noticed something. Next to the steering wheel was a gas gauge that said empty. "TOMMY! CHUCKIE! PHIL!" she yelled. The three ran in.

"What?" Tommy asked.

"Look." she pointed to the gas gauge.

CHuckie turned and looked at it. He noticed that it said empty. "Oh no." he said. "Oh no. No, no , no, no, no. Please no!" he begged. He tried starting it but it was no use. It was epmty. "WHY!?"

"What is it?" Kimi ran in and asked. "Ooh. Its empty. Chuckie owes us $500." she chuckled. The others turned and glared at her.

"Kimi!"Phil yelled. "Do you see any other boats?"

"Any at all?" Chuckie asked.

"We're stranded!" Tommy yelled. "There's no one around to help us!"

"You guys!" Dil ran in. "Guess what!"

"WHAT!?" they all asked.

"Sor-ry." he said. "I was just gonna say I saw a fish in the water."

"dil! We're stranded!" Tommy yelled.

Phil took a deep breath and shouted, "WE'RE DOOOOMMMMMMED!"

"We're not doomed." Lil said. "Okay, we are."

"So." Chuckie slapped his hands together. "What now?"

"Um, well I'm going to go to the bathroom, in the bedroom." Phil said as he nudged Kimi. "I mean, heh, I'm going ot the bed room, and not the bathroom. I'll take a nap." he said and ran to the back bedroom.

Kimi waited a moment then said. "I'm sleepy too. I mean, peey. I'll go pee now." she said and ran back to the bathroom. The others went outside and when they were gone, Kimi peeked out then ran to the bedroom with Phil.

.......

"Hello!" Angelica entered the apartment cheerfully.

"Have a good day?" Susie asked turning off the TV. "Hey, and I've been asking myself something."

"What?"

"Do you think Tommy and Lil got married too soon?"

"Hell yeah. They went out, what? A week?"

"Um, no. About five months, then got married, and now are going to have a baby. Things are happening to fast for them."

"Yeah, whatever." Angelica sighed. "I'm going to go take a bath, now." she sighed and walked into the bathroom.


	10. Shipwrecked Pt 2

Chapter 10

"Angelica!" Susie shook her. "Angelica!"

"What?" she yawned.

"You're late for work." Susie said,

"So are you."

"Nope. I'm unemployed, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Angelica nodded. She then paused. "Oh crap! I'm late!" she jumped up.

......

"Got a bite?" Tommy asked.

"Nope." Chuckie said reeling in his line. He then threw it back out.

"Ooh!" Lil yelled. "I gotta bite!" She quickly jerked out her line to reveal a shoe."Just a shoe." she sighed.

"So what? Thats dinner tonight." Dil said.

"Dil, our fridge and cabinets, and something in there I've never seen before, are full." Chuckie said.

"What did it look like?" Lil asked.

"Kind of like a dishwasher, but it had food." Chuckie replied.

"That was a dish washer." Dil said. "I couldn't finish a cake so I put it in there."

"Huh?" Chuckie groaned.

"Well, there was no where else for it." Dil said.

"I ate some of that." Chuckie said. "I thought it tasted kind of soapy."

......

"I think its time that we tell everyone else." Kimi said.

"Noo." Phil moaned. "Not yet." He then saw the radio. "Hey, how about some music?" he asked.

"Sure." Kimi replied. Phil turned on the radio and romantic music started playing.

.....

"Hey." Chuckie said. "Do you hear that?" he asked. Everyone remained quiet to try and listen.

"Yeah." Lil said."I do." They all ran around the boat to the back bedroom and looked through the window. They're eyes were wide open. "Tommy, why dont you do that for me?" Lil whispered.

"I do have sex with you." Tommy said.

"I mean the music." Lil said. Tommy just shrugged his shoulders and Lil rolled her eyes.

"I'll kill him!" Chuckie yelled and ran to the front of the boat and inside with Tommy,Lil,and Dil behind him. Chuckie tried to open the door but it was locked. "Phil!" he yelled.

"Damn." Phil said as he heard banging on the door. "Um, just a sec."

Kimi then crawled under the bed to hide from Chuckie. "Okay." she said.

"Okay." Phil said and opened the door. "Hi Chuckie." he said as Chuckie punched him hard in the mouth. "Ow." he said then fell down. Kimi crawled out from under the bed and bent over to Phil.

"Chuckie!" Kimi yelled. "Dont hurt him." she begged. Chuckie breathed hard as he watched kimi.

"Hey, T." Dil whispered. "Kimi's almost naked." he smiled. Tommy's eyes widened. "When she bends down, keep your eyes open." Dil smiled. Tommy smiled and watched carefully until Lil slapped his arm. He looked down shamefully.

"Please, Chuckie." Phil said. "I love her."

"What?" Kimi asked.

"I didn't know Phil could love." Dil said. "I thought it was all about the sex to him."

"Me too." Phil said. " But I do. I love her." Kimi stared at him about to cry.

"I love you, too." she said and kissed him.

"How sweet." Lil said.

"Yeah." Chuckie agreed. "But, I'm still gonna kill ya." He swung at Phil but he ducked. Kimi helped Phil run while Tommy,Lil,and Dil leaned up against the wall and watched.

"This reminds me of something." Dil said.

"Yeah, its on the tip of my tounge." Tommy scratched his chin and thought.

"Oh." Lil suddenly thought of it. "Us." she giggled.

"Oh yeah." Dil said.

"Thats it!" Tommy nodded.

"Chuckie!" Kimi held him back. He wouldn't listen. "CHUCKIE!" she yelled then punched him in the stomach. "Chuckie." she said. He looked up at her. "I love him. He loves me. You have to understand that. And if you dont, him and I could move, ignore you, or, or, I dont know." she said.

"Really?" Chuckie asked. She nodded. He then turned to Phil. "Really?"

"Yeah." Phil said. "Were you really going to kill me? I was just going to hurt Tommy."

"Yep. I was going to kill you."Chuckie said and got up. "I have a knife." he revealed as knife to Phil.

"Oh."Phil gulped. "Um, uh."

"Its okay." Chuckie patted him on the back.

......

"Susie." Angelica said as Susie walked in.

"Yeah?" she asked sitting down.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was thinking, I need a job."

"And?"

"Well, maybe I could work with you?"

"No. May already works here, and thats enough hell to work with."

"When did she start working here?"

"Yesterday."

......

"Check this out." Dil said. He opened up a compartment on the floor. "An extra gas tank."

"Awesome." Tommy said.

"I'll go fill it up." Phil said. He headed to the gas tank and started filling it up. Chuckie came outside and watched him. "Hey."

"Hey." he said. "So, was that the first time you two had done it?"

"Well." Phil said. "Sex yeah. Phone sex? No."

"You bastard." Chuckie said. "Aw, I dont care. You have a bitch."

"Why does everyone keep saying that? She's like the only one that I-yeah she is actually." Phil chuckled.

"No she's not." Chuckie said sounding very mad.

"N-no she's not." Phil said. "There. All full. N-now lets get the hell out of here!" he yelled and jumped back on board. Chuckie got back at the steering wheel and they headed towards the dock.

.....

"Nice to be home." Tommy said as he and Lil entered the apartment.

"Yep." she agreed.

"Now, at the boat, we were talking about music, and-"

"Tommy, I'm tired and pregnant." Lil said. "I'm going to bed." she said and walked into the bedroom.

He watched her go flopped down on the couch. "Dammit." he sighed.

.....

"Nice to be home." Dil said as he and Chuckie entered the junky apartment. "What am I kidding. This place is a crap factory."

"Yeah." Chuckie agreed.

"So, how are you taking the whole Phil with Kimi thing?" Dil asked.

"Okay, now." he said. "I really think it would be kind of cool. Hey!" Chuckie said.

"What?"

"Think about this, if-"

"I dont think." Dil intterupted him.

Chuckei stared at him then continued. "Think about this. If Phil and Kimi got married, and T and Lil stayed married, we'd all be related in some way, except Susie."

"What if you married Susie?" Dil asked.

"Uh, no." CHuckie quickly answered.

.....

"We are home." Phil said entering the apartment. "So, Chuckie took it kind of well."

"Yeah." Kimi agreed. "Better than I expected. And I mean in the begining."

"Huh? Oh well. Lets watch TV." Phil said turning it on. Then something accured to him. "Hey. Can I still watch porn?" he asked. Kimi stared at him and then smiled.

"Sure." she said. "I need a shower, anyway." she said and walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Phil quickly grabbed the phone and called Tommy.

"Tommy? Yeah. It all clear." he said then hung up. Tommy then burst in and jumped down on the couch next to Phil. Phil turned on the porn and they began watching.

"Hey guys, I was wondering if-is that porn?" Dil walked in and asked.

"Yeah, come on." Tommy said.Dil shrugged and sat down.

Thats it for now. I'll have the next chapter up soon. I sort of rushed through the ship wreck thing but the other stroy lined I'll try to make longer.


	11. The College Years Pt 1

Chapter 11

The whole gang was at Doug's Diner just sitting around and talking. "Do you remember our college years?" Tommy asked his friends.

"Yep." Susie replied.

"I dont." Phil said.

"Because you and Dil didn't go to college." Kimi said. Phil and Dil sighed and looked at each other.

"Well, why dont you tell us?" Dil asked.

"Not a bad idea, Dil." Chuckie said. "We could tell them about some things that happened in collge."

"Um, do we have to?" Lil asked.

"Sure." Angelica smiled.

"Okay..." Tommy started.

* * *

Seven years earlier...Chuckie walked down campus looking for a farturnity to join. He walked up to a house that some of his friends had joined, Beta and next door to it was Beta's rival, Kappa. He knocked on Beta's door. No one answered so he walked in. A beer bottle was thrown at him. He ducked as it hit the wall behind him. Louie Louie started playing then and Tommy walked up to Chuckie.

"Chuckie!" he slapped him on the back. "Welcome to Beta. I'll put in a good name for ya." he smiled. Chuckie could tell he was drunk.

"Y-yeah, thanks Tommy." he said as they walked through the house.

"Hey Lil!" Tommy yelled. Lil stopped making out with a boy for a minute to see what Tommy wanted. "Chuckie's thinking of joining!"

"Alright!" she smiled then went back to her "friend."

"Yeah, Chuck, um, Doug, and Z, Trevor, um, alot of people have joined." Tommy said as the farturnity's leader walked up to them.

"Hi." he said. "I'm Greg." he said.

"Chuckie Finster." Chuckie said. "So, what do I do to join?"

"Well, Chuck, we decide later, okay, for now, just enjoy the party." Tommy said. Chuckie walked around and saw some people he reconizged. He saw Z talking to Kimi.

"Hi Chuckie." Kimi smiled.

"Yo Chuckster." Z patted him on the back.

"Hey guys." Chuckie said.

"So, you joining?" Kimi asked.

"I'm trying to." Chuckie said then saw Nicole talking to her friends. "Um, excuse me." Chuckie walked over to her and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hi Nicole."

"Chuckie?" she asked. "I didn't know you were joining." Nicole said.

"Well, I'm not postitve I am." Chuckie said.

"Well, I'll put in a good word for ya." Nicole smiled.

"Thanks." Chuckie smiled back. Someone then slapped him hard on the back.

"Finster!" he shouted with joy.

"Doug?" Chuckie asked. "I didn't know you-"

"Doug! Doug! Doug!" Larry ran up to him. "Tommy just puked." he laughed. Doug laughed and they walked off.

Chuckie turned back around but Nicole was gone. He sighed and went off to find more of his friends.

.....

Next door, at Kappa house, there was also a party going on. Sean, their leader, was buisy making out with Angelica in his room. Angelica looked down. "What is it?" Sean asked.

"Nothing." Angelica said. Just then, Justin, Sean's best friend, ran in.

"JUSTIN!" Sean yelled.

"I know, never intrude on you kissing with Ange, but...Beta house just got busted for beer under probation laws." Justin smiled evilly.

"Cool." Sean got up and left. Angelica sighed and got up.

.....

Dean Butler, Sean's father, watched the pathetic Beta students as they got rid of their beer. "Thats it." the Dean smiled. "All of it. You know there's no alchohol aloud for a farturnity under probation."

"Ass hole." Tommy said as he emptyed the beer.

"Now, parties over. Girls, return to your own houses." Dean Butler ordered. All the girls sighed as they left. Chuckie was a little confuse as the Dean left.

"Um, Tommy, I thought the girls were apart of this farturnity." Chuckie said.

"No. This is a boys farturnity. They just come to the parties to have sex and stuff, you know." Tommy said.

"But, I thought Lil and Kimi stayed here. And Nicole. She said she'd put in a good name for me." Chuckie said.

"Well, she can still do that." Tommy said.

"Oh, okay."

.....

Later that night, Beta House was deciding on new members. Greg put in a slide into a projector and Chuckie's picture came up. "BOO!" everyone yelled.

"Wait wait!" Greg yelled.

"Yeah." Tommy stood up. "This guys is one of my best friends. Yes, he is a dork. A nerd, but a good man. He could really help us plan attacks on Kappa, or whatever." Everyone thought then went"BOO!" again.  
  
"WAIT!" Tommy yelled. "Trust me. He's okay."

.....

The next day, Chuckie was standing in front of the rest of the house as he was presented. "Okay." Doug walked up to him. "You will now be known as Poindexter." Doug handed him a badge.

"Why Poindexter?" Chuckie asked.

"Well, Tommy, er, I'm sorry, Gusher, said you were a nerd." Doug said hicupping. Chuckie glared at Tommy and Tommy shrugged. "Okay. PARTY!" Doug yelled. Louie Louie again began playing.

Chuckie walked over to Tommy. "Gusher?"

"I threw up at the first party here." Tommy said. "By the way, Z is Duke, Doug is Donut, Larry is Scorpion, Greg is, um, Greg, and Trevor is Copycat."

"Duke, Donut, Scorpion, Copycat, Gusher, and Greg?" Chuckie asked. "And I'm Poindexter?"

"Yeah." Tommy said and handed him a beer. "Its better than Gusher." he said and walked off.

.....

"Okay." Sean said to his crew.

"What?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, what now?" Brett asked.

"Ha, tomorrow, Beta house will feel what its like to be in hell." Sean laughed. "Listen, this new kid, Finster, is going to be in pain tomorrow. We'll give him hell. Make him scrub the Dean's horse."

"I like it." Justin smiled evilly.

"Yeah." Brett agreed.

.....

The next day, Chuckie was in ROTC. "Drop and give me 20!" Brett yelled in Chuckie's face.

"W-why?" Chuckie asked.

"Do you question my order?" Brett asked.

Tommy and Doug were watching from a distance. "Look at that retard." Doug said.

"Yeah." Tommy agreed. "But wait, you're talking about Brett, right?"

"Yeah." Doug said.

"Oh okay. Yeah, he is. Hey! I have an idea." Tommy grinned.

"One! Two! Three!" Brett yelled as Chuckie did push ups. Then, Sean came riding on a horse up to the two. "Hello sir." Brett salluted him. Sean saluted back. He then got off his horse. Doug snuck up and tied a rope to the horse that was on Sean's belt for lassoing. Tommy then took a stick and hit the horse's butt. The gallopped off dragging Sean.

"AHHH! HELP!" he yelled as the horse drug him off. Chuckie laughed but Brett walked up to him. Tommy and Doug snuck off but Justin had seen them.

.....

At lunch, Chuckie saw Nicole sitting by herself. Chuckie got his food and sat down next to her. "Hi Nicole." he said.

"Chuckie? Um, go away, hurry." Nicole said.

"Huh?"

"Please, I dont want you to get hurt." Nicole said.

"Get hurt? How am I going to get-"

"Finster?" Brett asked. Justin was behind him. "What are you doing? Sitting at our table?"

"Huh? Oh, I'll only be a minute." Chuckie said.

"Hey Chuck! Get out of here!" Justin yelled.

"Sorry, sorry." Chuckie said and got up. He went over and sat with Tommy, Lil, Kimi, and Z.

"Whats wrong Chuck?" Z asked.

"Nothing. I just wanted to talk to Nicole." Chuckie said.

"Well, lunch isn't the time to do it." Lil said. "Angelica is going out with Sean and Nicole hangs out with Angelica and Susie, so she'll sit at the Kappa table."

"Yeah, Chuckie, you'll have to wait until she's alone." Kimi said.

"Hey." Tommy said looking at his jello. "There's a bug in my jello."

.....

"Chuckie." Tommy shook him. Chuckie woke up to see Tommy, Doug, and Larry. "Come on." Tommy led him out of his room. They went outside and there was a nice car sitting there. "Doug got a new car, and we know exactly how to use it."

They got in the car and pulled up to a large part of campus a few minutes later. They snuck around to the back of the house and tried to see in the window at the top of the huge house. "Stupid, three story house." Larry said as he tried to see.

Tommy then saw a ladder. He grabbed it then carefully propped it up agaist a window. "Go on Chuck, we've done this thousands of times." Tommy said. Doug and Larry glared at him. "They've done it thousands of times. I've done it twice." Chuckie climbed the ladder and peered in the window. The lights were out but Chuckie could hear noises. He tried to see in through the glass.

"I cant see." Chuckie whispered. "I think they're having sex."

"What did he think we were doing?" Larry whispered to Tommy and Doug. Then someone came to the window. He opened it.

"Poindexter?" Z asked.

"D-D-Duke."Chuckie said.

"Chuckie?" Kimi came to the window. "What the hell?" she asked seeing Tommy, Doug, and Larry.

"Uh oh." Doug said. The three quickly ran back to the car and jumped in. "Start dammit!" Doug yelled. The car finally started and they pulled around back to get Chuckie. Chuckie jumped off the ladder and landed in the car from the sun roof. They quickly drove off.

.....

The next day, Chuckie woke up hearing music. "Not another party." he moaned putting a pillow over his face. He got dressed and went downstairs. Music was playing and people were dancing.

"Chuckie!" Z ran up to him.

"Oh God." he moaned.

"Chuckie. Just to let you know. Nothing was going on." Z said.

"Well, at the risk of getting my ass kicked, I'll just say, alright." Chuckie said and walked past him.

"Hey Chuck." DOug walked up to him and smiled. "We really scored last night didn't we?" Chuckie shook his head and kept walking. He saw Nicole.

"Nicole." He said.

"Hi Chuckie." she smiled. "Um..."

"You wanna dance?" Chuckie asked.

"Um, sure." she said and Chuckie led her out to dance.

Z took out Kimi to dance and Tommy and Lil stood by the beer cooler. "Want another beer?" Lil asked.

"What do you think?" Tommy asked. Lil rolled her eyes and handed him one. Tommy then turned back to Lil. "Lil. Do you think, I'm...charming?"

"Of course I do. Why?" Lil asked.

"Well, I asked out a girl this morning and she said, sorry, you're not very charming, or smart, you're drunk alot, and you're ugly."

"You're charming, smart, you do drink, and you're not ugly." Lil said.

"Good." Tommy said. "So, wanna do it?" Lil rolled her eyes and playfully punched him then walked off. "Worth a try." Tommy said following her.

"So, Chuckie, you wanna get together tonight?" Nicole asked.

"Tonight? Actually, I have plans. How about tomorrow? After the horse accident wiht Sean and Brett, I have to wash the pens." Chuckie sighed.

"Oh, okay." Nicole said.

......

Later that day, at lunch, Chuckie went at sat down next to Tommy and Lil. "Hi guys." he sighed.

"Hey." Lil said. "Whats wrong?"

"Well, I just wanted to sit with Nicole." Chuckie said.

"Yeah whatever." Doug said walking over to them. "Anyway, Gusher, we ready?"

"Thats a big 10-4." Tommy smiled. He pulled out a walkie talkie and said into it, "Okay, Scorpion, any sign of him?"

"What are you doing?" Chuckie asked.

"Getting revenge on Sean." Doug smiled.

"Not yet." Larry said through the walkie talkie. "Is he coming your way, Duke?" Tommy asked again.

"Nope." Z replied.

"How about you, Copycat?" Tommy asked again.

"Sorry, got nothing." Trevor said.

"Damn." Tommy said. "Where the hell is he?"

"Here he comes!" Trevor yelled.

"Okay." Tommy said. "Go Donut." Tommy told Doug. Doug nodded and headed over to the entrance Trevor was guarding. He grabbed a bucket and got ready.

"What's in that bucket?" Chuckie asked.

"Mashed potatoes." Lil said. Sean walked through the door and Doug dumped the bucket of mashed potatoes on him.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Tommy yelled. Everyone began throwing food. Chuckie, however, hid under a table. Food was being slung everywhere. Nicole then got under the table with Chuckie.

"Hi, Chuckie." she smiled.

"Nicole." he turned around. "H-hi."

"Um, Chuckie, I've been thinking. We cant see each other." Nicole frowned.

"W-why?" Chuckie asked.

"Well, Brett likes me and..."

"I-I g-get it." Chuckie said grabbing some food and crawling out from under the table. He threw the food hitting Justin in the head with it.

......

Chuckie sighed as he washed the Dean's horse. Brett walked over to him and laughed evilly. "Faster!" he yelled. He then walked away and Tommy and Doug appeared.

"Hi Chuck." Doug whispered. Chuckie truned around and smiled at him. Then went back to work.

Justin however, was talking to Brett about the horse accident. "Brett,, it was Pickles and Bombardi who tied Sean to the horse, then made it run off." Justin explained.

"Interesting." Brett said.

"So Chuckie, what do ya say we get the hell outta here." Tommy said.

"I'll get in trouble." Chuckie said. Brett and Justin then came around the corner and smrked at them.

"Ha. You're in trouble now." Brett smiled.

.....

Tommy, Doug, and Chuckie were all in the Dean's office. "So, you and Bombardi tried to get Mr. Finster out of there?" Dean asked Tommy.

"Noooo." Doug said. The Dean stared at him. "Yes."

"Thats it." The Dean sighed. "I dont know what I'm gonna do with Beta house. Beta house is now under triple secret probation."

"When were we under double?" Chuckie asked.

"For a long time." the Dean said. "Now get out of here!"

.....

The three walked slowly into Beta house. "Well, what happened" Larry asked.

"Yeah. Are we under-" Greg said but they cut him off.

"Yep. Triple probation." Doug sighed.

"Triple?" Z asked. "When were we on double?"

"The damn Dean said for a long time." Tommy said flopping down on the couch. "I say we get revenge."

"How?" Trevor asked.

"Well, I have an idea to help us, and shove it into Kappa's fat jerky faces." Chuckie grinned.

"Alright Poindexter." Z smiled.

"Cool." Greg commented.

"Okay, we'll throw the best damn party ever." Chuckie said.

"Well, thats every other day for Beta." Tommy said.

"No no no. We'll bet Kappa house. We throw a better party, then..." Chuckie thought.

"Um, how about that roves we're better than them." Larry suggested.

"We already are." Trevor said.

"Well..." Chuckie said. "The parade!"

"Huh?" Larry asked.

"Yeah, yeah." Tommy said. "I know what you're saying." He then stared at Chuckie for a minute. "What are ya saying?"

"Well, like, maybe, they forfeit the contest for the floats, or they..."

"The Dean!" Greg yelled.

"HUH?" everyone asked.

"Sean is the the Dean's son. So, if we throw a better party, then Sean will have to tell the Dean about the bet and the Dean could march in front of our float." Greg said.

"Me likes." Tommy smiled.

"Yeah, and even if the Dean disagrees, Sean and his dorks will still get in trouble." Z said.

"So will we." Larry said.

"Yeah, but we always do." Z shrugged.

"Alright." Chuckie smiled. "Lets do it!"

Thats it for this part. This is a two part by the way. Hope you're enjoying it and I'll try to have the next chapter up soon, today even.


	12. The College Years Pt 2

Chapter 12

"Okay." Tommy read from a list. "Beer."

"Check." Larry said checking their inventory for the party.

"Check."

"Um, other types of alchohol."

"Check."

"Continueous tape of Louie Louie."

"Check."

"Okay." Tommy said. "Thats it."

"Okay." Larry said.

Within time, the party had started and it was going well. Much better than Kappa house's party.

......

"This party sucks." Justin sighed.

"Do we even have any guests?" Sean asked.

"Okay, um, you, me, Justin, our other members, Angelica, Suse, and Nicole." Brett said.

"Shut up." Seans aid hitting him in the back of the head.

.....

"Hey girl." Z smiled walking up to her. "Um, I'm so sorry, but I have to go. I'm meeting my dad to do some stuff."

"Huh?" Kimi asked. "Oh, okay." she groaned. Z kissed her on the cheek then left. "Bye." she waved.

Chuckie sighed as he walked over to Lil. "Hey." he said.

"Hi." she sighed. "Pretty lame party, huh?"

"I guess. This is the worst one Beta's ever thrown." CHuckie said.

"You kidding?" Doug asked walking up to them. "Check out Tommy." he pointed to Tommy.

"Louie Louie!" he sung to the song drunkenly. "Oh baby!" He continued to dance and sing and everyone laughed watching him.

"Tommy hasn't done anything this funny since the first party." Doug laughed.

"What did he do at the first party?" Chuckie asked.

"He threw up on Z." Doug chuckled then walked off.

"Geeze. This is some night to be alone." Lil sighed. Chuckie nodded. "Also, my mom called and said that my mom and your dad sold the Java Lava to Doug's dad. Calling it Doug's Diner."

"Pretty lame. I guess we're never hanging out there again." he said. They sighed and looked at eachother and thought.

"We're both alone." Lil said. They looked at each other again.

"Gimme 10 minutes?" he asked.

"You got five." she said and ran upstairs.

It was midnight and Tommy had fainted. A few people were still there. Tommy moaned as he woke up. He rubbed his head and went to sit next to Kimi. "Hey." he moaned.

"You passed out." she said.

"Duh." he grunted. Kimi then got a beer and offered it to him. "No." he said. Kimi kept the beer in her hand and in Tommy's face. He stared at it. "Oh, alright." he said grabbing it. Kimi got one for herself too.

"Hey." she said. "What ever happened to Chuckie and Lil?"

"I dont know." Tommy said.

"Tommy Pickles?" he girl came up and asked. "Tommy?"

"Huh?" he asked.

"Its me, Laura. You asked me out the other day. And I just wanted to say that I thought about it and I was wondering if you'd like to go out?" she asked. Tommy stared at her.

"No." he said. "I'm not going out with you and never will." he said. Laura walked away pitifully. "Tch. Like I'd go out with her, or marry her or something. She'd problay end up sleeping with the coast guard or something." he said taking another drink of hir beer.

Chuckie yawned waking up. He looked at the clock, it was 8:00 A.M. He turned over in bed and shook Lil. "Wake up." he said.

"Huh?" she yawned. "What?"

"Um, about this." he said.

"Never happened." Lil finished.

"Right. We were both alone and bored and possibly drunk." Chuckie said.

.....

Angelica, Susie, and Nicole entered Beta house to tell them the good news that they had won and the Dean would march in front of the Beta float. There were several people still there but they were looking for their friends. They went upstairs.

Lil and Chuckie peeked outside in the hall and no one was there. They both snuck out as Nicole, Angelica, and Susie turned a corner. "Um, Nicole." Chuckie groaned. Nicole stared at the two then ran off crying. "Nicole!" he yelled.

"Nice job, Lil." Angelica glared at her. She then turned back and looked at her as if she wanted something answered. "How was he?" she whispered.

"Eh." Lil shrugged.

Tommy yawned and turned over. Kimi as well turned over. They opened their eyes at the same time. "AHHHHHHHH!" they srceamed.

"W-wha? What?" Kiim asked.

"I dont know." Tommy said a little worried. "You naked?"

"Yes. You?"

He gulped then whispered. "Y-y-yes."

"We got drunk, right?" Kimi asked.

"Of course, this never happened." Tommy mumbled. "Hey." he said feeling under the covers. "Here's your bra." he gave it to her.

"Good." she said putting it on. "Where was it?" she asked. Tommy didn't answer. He just looked at her and gulped. "Ohhh." she groaned.

Angelica, Lil, and Susie then barged in. Kimi quickly hid under the covers. "Tommy!" Angelica yelled.

"I did not sleep with Kimi!" he yelled. They all stared at him.

"You slept with Kimi." Lil said. Kimi then showed herself.

"Hi guys." she smiled then looked at Tommy. "Tommy? Ha! Heh, what, heh, what are you d-doing h-here?" she said. He shrugged.

"I honestly dont know." he said.

"Anyway, get dressed. Chuckie slept with Lil and Nicole is upset." Susie said.

"Chuckie slept with Lil. I slept with Kimi. This has been a hell of a party." Tommy laughed.

* * *

"So what happened?" Dil asked.

"Well, I never saw Nicole again." Chuckie said. "She ran off."

"You slept with Tommy?" Phil asked Kimi.

"We were drunk." she said.

"Aren't you mad that Tommy slept with Kimi?" Phil asked his sister.

"No." Lil said. "I ended up sleeping with him later that night."

"No you didn't." Tommy said.

"Oh yes I did." Lil chuckled. Tommy looked strangely at her.

"So, what about the Dean and the float and stuff?" Dil asked.

"We made a crappy float." Doug said.

"Doug? Where did you come from?" Tommy asked. Then saw Larry. "What are you two doing?"

"Just listening. We were there too." Larry said.

"Anyway, we made the crappiest float ever, the Dean marched in front of it, Sean was humiliated, the float exploded giving the Dean three broken bones." Doug chuckled.

"Yeah." Larry nodded.

"Wow." Phil said. "What happened to the rest of the gang? Give details."

* * *

The float then burst into flames. It launched Tommy, Chuckie, Lil, Kimi,Angelica,Susie, Z, Trevor, Doug, Larry, and Greg into the road. Three pieces of it headed towards the Dean. He turned around and gasped. A piece broke his arm, a piece broke his ankle, and the last gave him fractured ribs. An ambulance was immdiatly called. The Beta gang laughed as Sean and his crew dodged flying pieces.

Tommy Pickles is unemployed and is now married to Lil

Doug Bombardi runs his own diner that use to be known as the Java Lava

Larry Wilson works for the construction company as is Doug's roommate

Kimi Finster is a third grade teacher and is going out with Lil's brother.

Angelica Pickles is a waitress and is roommates with Susie Charmicheal who works with Angelica now

Z is cop in Miami and is married

Trevor took on Tommy's dream and became a director

Greg disappeared after a helicoptor ride in Death Valley

Chuckie is a dentist a still thinks about Nicole.

* * *

"You never found Nicole?" Dil asked.

"No." Chuckie sighed. "Never saw her after that day."

"You slept with Tommy!?" Phil yelled to Kimi.

"Well, sor-ry!" Kimi yelled. "Its not a big deal!"

"Yes it is!" Phil shouted.

"Hey!" Doug yelled. "Boyfriend/Girlfriend squablles go outside!"

Kimi and Phil shrugged and went outside. Chuckie sighed and headed towards the door. "Where ya goin?" Tommy asked.

"I need to think." he said and went outside.

"So, T, you use to be drunked up slob just like Phil, eh?" Dil asked.

"Yeah, he was." Lil said.

"Yes." Tommy said. "But, you did not have sex with me llater that day."

"YES I DID!" she yelled. "You were drunk again."

"Oh." Tommy said. "Well, okay. Actually, I dont even know why that bothers me."

Thats it for this chapter. Also, if you've seen the movie Animal House, I got the idea for this segmant of my stroy from it.


	13. Torn Apart

Chapter 13

Chuckie sighed as he walked into his and Dil's apartment. He sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. He switched it to Tommy's old soap, Its Your Feelings. It was now directed by their friend Trevor. Trevor. It had been years since Chuckie had seen him. He smiled. Seeing an old friend might help him get Nicole off his mind.

.....

Back at Tommy and Lil's, Lil was asleep on the couch, and Tommy was in a chair asleep. Phil then barged in. "Hey guys." he said opening the fridge. "H-hey, where's the beer?" he asked. Tommy then jumped up.

"No I didn't!" he yelled. "Huh? Oh hi. Um, yeah?"

"Beer. Where is it?"

"We dont have any." Tommy said. Lil then moaned waking up.

"Yes you did!" she yelled jumping up. "Huh? Hi Phil."

"Yeah, whatever, just you guys get some beer, soon, please." he pleaded. "Hey Lil, you're starting to show." he said patting her belly.

"Quit it!" she yelled. "That tickles." she whispered to herself.

......

"Hey Trevor." Chuckie said walking into the studio. He turned around and gasped.

"Poindexter!" he yelled. "Hey man!" he shook his hand.

"Its been a long time, Trev." Chuckie said. "Haven't seen you since the parade in college."

"Yeah I know. By the way, did you ever hook up with-"

"Nicole?"

"Yeah."

"No. I never saw her after that day." he sighed. "Well, you talked to Z lately or anything?"

"Yeah, I have, actually, and I was going to ask Tommy if him and you, and your other friends wanted to come with me." Trevor said.

"What? Where?"

"Miami. I'm going to go visit. You guys wanna come?"

"I dont know, i'll have to ask everyone else."

.....

"Hey guys." Chuckie came into Tommy's apartment. Tommy, Phil, Lil, and Dil were there.

"Hi." they all said.

"Whats up?" Dil asked.

"I went over to the studio and saw Trevor." Chuckie said. "He wants to know if we wanna go to Miami with him to see Z."

"Z?" Kimi ran in. Phil looked strangely at her.

"Yeah. You want to go to Miami to see him?" Chuckie asked.

"Oh yeah!" Kimi yelled.

"Okay." Tommy said.

"Why not." Dil smiled.

"I guess." Phil shrugged. Lil stayed quiet though.

"I'm not going. I've got a freakin baby in me for goodness sake." she rolled her eyes. Angelica and Susie then came in.

"You guys want to go to Miami to visit Z?" Chuckie asked.

"Sure." Susie said.

"Well, I would go, but....I dont wanna." Angelica said.

"Good, you can stay here with me." Lil said.

"Okay." Angelica said.

"We all know you dont wanna go because you have a crush on the guy who eats breakfast at the restaraunt everyday." Susie said.

"Well, pack up." Chuckie said. "We leave tomorrow."

.....

"Bye." Lil said kissing Tommy on the cheek as they left the apartment.

"Bye guys." Angelica said. Once they were gone, Angelica closed the door and sighed. "So, what do ya wanna do?" she asked. Lil shrugged. "How about..." she then pulled out something from behind her back. "SCRABBLE!"

.....

The gang got on the plane and in their seats. Tommy, Chuckie, and Trevor sat in a row, Kimi and Susie sat by themselves, and Phil and Dil sat by them selves.

"Hey Phil." Dil said. "Pull my finger." he chuckled. Phil glared at him.

"So, Trev, how's the feelings been?" Tommy asked.

"What?" Trevor asked.

"How's the show been?" he asked.

"Ohhhh. Good, good. Been thinking about a new character. Maybe Phil?" Trevor asked. Tommy nodded his head until he heard the word Phil. He stopped and looked at him.

"Phil?" he asked. Trevor nodded. Tommy then looked ahead. "You'll be sorry." he said.

"Hey Phil." Dil said.

"What?" he asked.

"Check out that girl's ass." he pointed to a flight attendant bent over talking to someone. Phil grinned and fixed his hair. The girl then turned around and was revealed to be May. He panicked and turned his head so she wouldn't see him. "M-May?" Dil asked. He also turned his head.

"What are you worried about?" Phil asked.

"We went out, I dumped her, she took it kind of hard." Dil said. "Nothing big."

"Excuse me sir, we are getting ready to take off, you need to buckle up." she tapped Phil shoulder. He then slowly turned around. "Phil?" she asked.

"May!" he yelled sarcastically. "How ya been?"

"Well, after a was kicked off Its Your Feelings, I tried to be in movies, that didn't work so then I became a waitress and now I'm here." she smiled. "Dil?" she asked.

"H-hi." he turned around slowly.

"Buckle up you bastard." she said and walked off. The plane then took off and they were in the air headed for Miami, Florida.

"Susie." Kimi said.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Um, can you help me or something." Kimi said. "When I said I was all excited about going to Miami to visit Z, I think Phil thought I might still be in love with him."

"Well, just tell Phil that you're not in love with him." Susie said.

Phil was asleep and Dil was as bored as can be. He sighed but then heard Kimi and Susie talking behind him. He decided to listen in on what they were saying.

"Thats the problem, Suse." Kimi sighed.

"What?" Susie asked.

"I think I'm still in love with Z."

Dil gasped and started coughing and choking on his own breath. "You okay, Dil?" Susie asked. Dil looked over at her and gave her the thumbs up. He then caught his breath and sat back down.

"Phil." he shook him to wake him up. "Phil. Phil. Phil!"

"W-what?" he yawned.

"Meet me in the bathroom." Dil whispered and headed towards the bathroom. Phil stared straight ahead for a minute and thought.

"What?" he asked himself. He nervously got up and headed towards the bathroom. He knocked ont he one Dil was in and crept in. "Y-yes?" he asked.

"I have news."

"Oh no! D-Dil! I'm not gay."

"What? Me niether. Anyway, this news is not very good news for you."

"Oh dear God. But its good for you? No. No!"

"Calm down. Its not like i'm trying to do you."

"Oh, okay." he took a breath. "Okay, what?"

"I think Kimi might end up dumping you."

"W-what? F-for w-who?"

"Z. I heard Kimi and Susie talking. Kimi's still in love with Z."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"But, I thought Z was married."

"I think he is. But, I mean, oh, I dont know. I'm sorry." Dil sighed and walked out. Phil put his hand over his face and sat down, on the toilet. He began crying softly.

A kid then opened the door and saw him crying. "Geeze, mister, if its that bad, lock the door." he said and walked off. Phil closed the door and locked it.

......

"H, E, M, P." Lil smiled. "Hemp."

"Dang." Angelica said. "Ooh! Ooh! B, I, T, C, H. Bitch."

"Oh yeah? Gig."

"Gig?"

"Yeah. You know. I got us a 'gig'."

"Oh, okay." Angelica nodded. "Dew."

"Dew?"

"You know, Mountain 'Dew'. Do the 'Dew."

"You have to have Mountain with it or Dew means nothing." Lil said.

"Nuh uh."

"Yuh huh."

"Nuh uh."

"Yuh huh."

.....

Phil slowly walked back to his seat. He sat down and stared straight ahead. "Phil." Dil put his hand on his shoulder. "You okay?"

"No." Phil said. "You're lying." he whispered.

"What?"

"Kimi wouldn't say that." Phil bobbed his head. "You're wrong."

"I'm not wrong, and I'm not lying." Dil said. "Please believe me. I just dont want you to get hurt, Phil. You're my best friend."

"Well, if we're friends, start acting like one." Phil snapped. "Dont go making up stories!" he yelled.

"What did he make up?" Kimi leaned over and asked.

"NOTHING!" Phil and Dil yelled at the same time.

.....

"What now?" Lil asked. She looked over at the scrabble board broken in half.

"I dont know, but I do think we should learn to control our temper." Angelica said.

"Well, its eight o'clock. They should be there in about an hour." Lil said.

"Got Pay Day?"

"Nope. Tommy and I played it once, I lost. So, I threw it out the window."

"Ohhh. How about Monopoly?"

"Actually, yes." Lil said getting up.

"Dont get up. I'll get it." Angelica said walking over to the closet.

Lil shrugged and sat back down. "Hey Ange. Can ya get me a soda?"

"Sure."

"A Milky Way?"

"Sure."

"A blanket? I'm cold."

"Sure."

Lil smiled as Angelica got her stuff for her. "I like being pregnant." Lil chuckled to herself.

.....

The plane slowly decended in the airport run way. One by one, people got off. Trevor took the gang to the hotel and they got into their rooms. Trevor, Tommy,Dil, and Chuckie shared a suite. Kimi, Phil, and Susie got the other room, with two beds.

"This freaking room has four beds." Dil smiled walking in. Then he saw Phil go into his room. Dil walked in there and sat down next to Phil. "Hey."

"Hey." he sighed. "I dont know."

"What?"

"Kimi. Maybe she is still in love with Z." he sighed. "She has seemed overly excited about this trip and she did have a crush on him in school."

"I'm sorry, man." Dil said and hugged him. He continued to hug him.

"Dil."

"I am so sorry."

"Dil!"

"Yeah?"

"I think we look gay." he said. Dil quickly let go.

.....

The next day, Trevor took the gang to Z's house, or, mansion. "The bastard's rich?" Phil asked.

"Yep." Trevor said. He then pushed a buzzer next to a gate.

"Hello." Z said threw through the speaker.

"Z, its us." Trevor said.

"Oh, okay. Come on in!" he said. The gate then opened and they started walking towards the house.

Phil then held Kimi's hand. "Whats wrong Phil?" Kimi asked.

"Nothing." he said. Kimi then got loose of his grip. "Why were you holding my hand?"

"Well, we're going out."Phil said. "It seems natural to me."

"Yeah whatever." Kimi said as the door was opened for them. Z had changed alot. He still had his green hair but no longer in a mowhawk. He was much skinnier and wore glasses now. "Z!" Kimi ran up and hugged him. Phil rolled his eyes.

"Kimi!" he hugged her back. "Hey guys." he smiled.

"So, Z, where's the mrs.?" Phil asked.

"Oh, we broke up. She cheated on me and we got a divorce about a week ago." Z said.

'Crap.' Phil thought.

"Thanks for having us down." Trevor said.

"No problem, come in, come in." Z said.

They took a tour of Z's house. He had a green house, two pools, a hot tub, six bathrooms and it was four stories high! "Z, what do you do?" Tommy asked.

"I am manager of a car making company thingy." Z said. "I make ALOT!"

"I bet you do." Phil muttered.

Tommy, Trevor, Chuckie, Susie, and Dil were in the pool and Z, Kimi, and Phil were sitting outside talking. They then heard a _ding._ "The cookies are done!" Z ran inside. When he was gone, Phil started a conversation.

"Z's turned into a tomgirl." he chuckled.

"What?" Kimi asked.

"Sissy. He's a sissy! Didn't you hear him?" Phil asked. He got up and started to imitate Z. "Ooh! Ooh! The cookies are done!" he laughed.

"Thats not funny." Kimi said.

"Well, sorry." Phil said.

"Who wants chochlate chip?" Z asked coming back out.

.....

"Okay, wanna be the car, hat, or checker piece?" Lil asked.

"Huh?" Angelica asked.

"Well, the car and hat are the only ones Dil didn't loose the time we let him borrow it and we threw a checker piece in there."

"I'll be the hat."

"I'll be the car."

Angelica rolled the dice. She moved her hat to a chance. "Chance. Collect $200 from every player."

"Dammit!"

.....

"These are pretty good." Dil smiled eating his cookie.

"Really?" Z asked. "You think so?"

"Yeah." Tommy agreed. "They're really great."

"Yeah, they're really great." Phil mocked Tommy under his breath. Phil then struck an idea. He grinned evilly as he asked. "Hey Z, you gonna be making anymore?"

"Yeah sure, why?" Z replied.

"No reason, why dont you get started on that." Phil said.

"Okay." Z said and went back in side.

Once he was gone, Phil turned to Dil. "Dil!"

"Yeah?" he answered.

"Listen carefully, we're gonna sabatoge those cookies!" Phil yelled evilly.

"What?" Chuckie asked.

"Its a play." Phil said. "We're gonna sabotoge those cookies, and the milk, and Santa himself."

"No you wont!" Dil yelled.

"Whatever." Chuckie rolled his eyes.

Phil and Dil snuck into the house and watched Z put ingredients into a bowl. Phil whispered something to Dil and he nodded. "Z!" Dil yelled. "Come here, please."

"Okay!" Z headed towards them. Phil snuck into the kitchen and poured more sugar in it than needed and some flower. He then went back outside.

After a little while, Z brought the cookies back out and everyone but Phil and Dil got one. "Aren't you going to eat one?" Trevor asked.

"Nah." Dil said. "Not hungry."

"I dont feel so good." Tommy moaned. He held his stomach then fell on the ground. Everyone else looked at the cookies and spit out what they had not swallowed and threw the cookies on the ground.

"Tommy!" Chuckie yelled. Phil and Dil looked nervously at eachother.

"He's okay." Dil said.

"Isn't he?" Phil asked nervously. Phil lightly kicked him in the side but Tommy didn't move. "Uh oh."

.....

The phone rang and Angelica got up to answer it. "Hello?" she answered. "OH MY GOD!"

"What?" Lil asked.

"Tommy's in the hospital!" Angelica yelled/

"WHAT!?"

"Said he has food poisoning."

.....

"We killed Tommy." Phil kept saying as him and Dil sat in the waiting room. "We killed him."

"No we didn't." Dil said. "He just has food poisoning. Not dead. Sick. Not dead. Sick. NOT DEAD! SICK!"

"SHUT UP, MAN!" Phil shouted.

"What do you mean, you killed him?" Chuckie asked coming up behind them.

"Okay, we admit it! We added a little extra ingredients to the cookies." Phil said.

"What?" Chuckie asked.

"Too much sugar and flower." Phil said.

"That shouldn't give food poisoning, just bad cookies." Chuckie said.

"After Phil did that, I sort of squashed a wasp and put it in the bowl." Dil said nervously. phil and Chuckie stared at him.

"I didn't kill him! Dil did! Ha ha ha!" Phil cheered.

"You squashed a wasp and put it in the cookies?" Chuckie asked.

"Yeah." Dil said.

"Why?"

"Well, Phil was jealous of Z so he tried to sabotage the cookies so people would say he made bad cookies." Dil said.

"So it was Phil's falt." Chuckie said.

"Oops." Phil said.

A couple hours later, Tommy walked out followed by Z, Kimi, Trevor, and Susie. "Tommy!" Phil yelled.

"Yeah" he asked.

"You okay?" Dil asked.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Phil hugged him. "This is my fault. I tried to sabotage the cookies!"

"Why?" Kimi asked.

"Tell her, Phillip." Chuckie grinned.

"Thank you, Chuckie." Phil glared at him. "Kimi, I did that to the cookies because...I was afraid."

"Of what?" Z asked.

"That you and Z would get back together." Phil looked down.

"What? Why?" Kimi asked.

"Well, you wouldn't ever talk to me, you only payed attention to him, and Dil," Phil said. Dil's eyes widened and walked to the side with his back to them whistling. "Dil said he heard you talking." Phil frowned.

"That I still loved Z?" Kimi asked.

"Yes." Phil said. Susie then walked over to Dil and grabbed him by the ear.

"Ow ow ow ow!" he moaned in pain as Susie dragged him over to Kimi.

"What do you say?" Susie asked.

"I'm sorry." Dil said. Susie squezed his ear tighter. "For eavesdropping. I'M SORRY FOR EAVESDROPPING! I'M SORRY! SO SORRY!" he yelled. Susie then let go.

"Isn't this awkward." Z sighed.

"You guys wanna go test my blood rate again?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah sure!" Susie, Chuckie, Trevor, and Dil said at the same time. Them three and Tommy walked off. Phil and Kimi stared at eachother and Z stared at the ground.

"Who do you love?" Phil asked.

"I dont know." Kimi sighed.

"Who do you love?" Phil asked again.

"I honestly dont know." Kimi said.

"Well, if it takes longer than this to tell your boyfriend you love him, maybe you dont." Phil said grabbing his coat. "She's all your's Z." Phil said angerily and walked out of the hospital.

"Phil!" Kimi yelled but Phil flagged down a taxi and drove off. "Phil." she said to herself.

to be continued...


	14. Speak of the Devil

Before I start the new chapter, I should remind everyone on ages. Through out both stories its been a couple years so the ages are:

Tommy,Phil,Lil,Kimi-27  
Dil-26  
Chuckie-28  
Angelica,Susie-30

Now onto the story!

Chapter 14

"Phil." Dil said as Phil packed his clothes into the suitcase. Tommy then entered the room.

"Please stay, Phil." Tommy said. Kimi's garanteed to be with Z if you run away."

"I'm not running away!" Phil yelled. "I lost! I...um, I'm retreating! There's a difference." he then closed his suitcase and walked outside. He called over a taxi and Tommy and Dil watched him ride off towards the airport.

.....

"Hello." Phil sighed walking into Tommy's apartment.

"Hey." Lil said. SHe then turned to him and looked puzzled. "Hey? What, um?"

"What are you doing here?" Angelica asked.

"Yeah um, okay, Kimi loves Z, and not me!" Phil yelled.

"What!?" Lil shouted.

"Z's a damn dirty bastard and I hate him. Thats pretty much the giss of it." he said and walked over to his apartment.

"Kimi still loves Z?" Lil asked.

"Hey!" Angelica leaned over to Lil and whispered. "Who's Z?"

......

"What the hell do you mean you're staying!?" Chuckie yelled.

"I'm going to stay." Kimi sighed. "With Z."

"Chuckie, if we're gonna go, we gotta go now." Trevor said. "The planes about to leave." he said. They were at the gate preparing to board the plane. Trevor, Tommy, Dil, and Susie got on the plane and Chuckie stared at Kimi and Z with his mouth wide open.

"F-fine." Chuckie said. "Bye." he kissed his baby sister on the forehead and smiled at her. He then got on the plane. Kimi and Z waved as it took off.

......

"Phil, wake up." Tommy whispered as Phil snored the next morning.

"KIMI!" he jumped up.

"Kim, um, isn't here." Tommy said.

"The Diner!" Phil yelled.

"No." Tommy said.

"Your apartment?"

"No."

"Susie's?"

"No."

"Still in Miami?"

"Ye-"

"Ha! I'm just joking! Um, the park?"

"She's still in Miami." Tommy sighed.

"No really."

"Miami."

"Seriously"

"MIAMI!"

"Dammit Tommy! Where is she!?" he yelled punching Tommy in the face. He fell back onto the floor. "Oops."

"You bastard!" Tommy yelled tackling Phil. They then went into a fist fight. Lil walked in and gasped. She slapped then both int he back of the head so hard, they almost cried.

"Sissies." Lil smirked. "But why are you fighting?"

"Tommy lied to me saying Kimi's still in Miami!" Phil yelled holding his head.

"Phil." Lil said. "She is."

.....

"Hello children who will never amount to anything." Phil smiled walking into the classroom.

"Hey." Jeffrey smiled.

"Who are you?" a man at the desk asked.

"Oh! Hi, I'm Phil. I'm your assistant." he smiled and sat down at his desk.

"Oh, you're Mr. DeVille. I'm Mr.Clark." he said.

"Clark. Got it!" Phil said and started digging through his desk.

"Hey. Who the hell's been going through my stuff?" Phil asked.

"That was me, there was some innerpropriate stuff in there." Clark said. He then whispered to him, "I saw a playboy. The last teacher must have been a greedy snob who doesn't like kids because you sir, I think are a good teacher."

"Right." Phil nodded strangley.

"Phil!" Vinny yelled.

"You call him Mr. DeVille!" Clark yelled.

"No we dont." Janice said.

"Yeah. They call me Phil, just Phil." Phil said.

"Yeah." Vinny said. "But, Jeffrey, now, listen to this, he said Play Boy sucks."

Phil then quickly stood up and walked over to a wall. "JEFFREY!" he yelled. "STAND THERE!" he pointed to the wall. Jeffrey gulped and face the wall. Phil then took a broom stick and lifted it back and...

.....

knock knock! Tommy jumped up from his nap on the couch and went over to the door. He opened it and to his suprise...

"TOMMY!" she yelled hugging him while crying.

"Laura?" he asked. "Um, what are, what are you, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Tom dumped me! The jackass!" she yelled still hugging him.

"But, you were engaged to him." Tommy saud.

"I know! I hate him." she said.

"I'm sorry, come in." he said and closed the door. The two sat down as Angelica walked in.

"Whoaaa." she said. "Speak of the devil."

"Hello, An...Angelica." Laura said wiping tears away.

"What are you doing here, Lucifer?" Angelica asked.

"Thats Laura." Laura corrected her.

"Oops. Silly me." Angelica grinned sarcasticlly and walked over to the fridge. "You dumb slut." she said to herself.

"Tom, my fiancee d-du-dumped me!" she yelled bursting back into tears.

"And this has to do with Tommy, how?" Angelica asked opening a soda.

"Well, it doesn't, but..."

"But, its time to go!" Angelica said.

"No wait." Tommy said.

Angelica's eyes widened and she slammed the door as she heard a thump on the other side. "Son of a!" she heard. SHe opened the door and saw Dil sitting on the ground.

"Sorry." she chuckled. Dil rolled his eyes and walked in.

"Whoa!" he yelled. "Whore alert!"

"DIL!" Tommy yelled.

"He's telling the truth." Angelica chuckled. Tommy rolled his eyes and turned back to Laura.

"Where are you staying?" Tommy asked.

"Well, I was hoping here." she said.

"Um, no I dont think..." Tommy tried to say.

"Great! I'll go get my stuff!" she said and ran out. Angelica and Dil walked over to Tommy.

"Tommy, remember when we ran into her at the end of your honeymoon?" Angelica asked. "You told Lillian that you wouldn't care if Laura was dumped."

"Yeah." Dil agreed then turned to Angelica. "Huh?"

"Shut up!" she yelled at Dil. "But, Tommy, now she's living with ya!"

"You're right." Tommy said. "But where can she stay? She needs a place."

.....

"This is the bedroom you'll be staying in." Tommy showed her his old bedroom. She walked in to look at it then Tommy turned to Phil who was glaring at him. "Thank you." Tommy smiled. Phil still glared at him. He stuck out his hand and cleared his throat. "Oh yeah." Tommy said and put $200 in Phil's hand. "Thank you so much." Tommy smiled.

"No, no, thank you." Phil smiled counting his money.

That was a short chapter I know, but, Laura is back, and living with Phil and Kimi is staying with Z in Florida! What else could go wrong? Just read the next chapter.


	15. The Stork Has Arrived

Chapter 15

"Ow." Lil moaned getting up off the couch. She walked towards the fridge as Phil came in.

"Lil!" he said. "Sit! I'll get you anything you need."

"Okay, thanks." Lil said and sat back down. "I just wanted an aspirin."

"Okay." Phil said. "Why do you keep them on top of the fridge?"

"Cause Dil is too short to reach them. Remember the time he got addicted to them?" Lil said.

"Yeah." Phil said opening the bottle.

"Hi." Laura said wiping a tear away as she walked in. Lil looked at her, then at Phil. "Ooh. Lil. You got fat."

"Why you little!" Lil said getting up as they heard something. "You hear that?"

"Yeah." Phil nodded then looked where Lil was standing. "Hey, what the hell is that?" he pointed below Lil.

"I think her water broke." Laura said.

"Aw, crap!" Lil said. "I was suppose to meet Ange for lunch."

* * *

Phil, Tommy, Lil, Laura and Angelica ran into the hospital. "Um, yeah, " Tommy said to the clerk, "my wife as babies coming out of her so if you could do something, please."

"Have you had any contractions?" the clerk asked.

"No." Lil said. "What are those, again?" she whispered to Angelica. Her eyes widened as she felt pain. "Owwwww." she groaned. "Hey. That wasns't too bad."

"Hi, I'm doctor Bribes." a doctor came up. Phil and Laura giggled to his name.

"Yeah, cool." Lil said. "Now, I've got a person in me so get me in the damn room!"

"Hey guys." Chuckie ran in followed by Dil. Angelica and Laura were in the waiting room. "Well?"

"She's still in there. She's only had two contractions." Angelica said.

"Can we go in?" Dil asked.

"Uh, yeah." Angelica said. "Duh."

Chuckie and Dil went into the room. "Ow ow ow ow!" Tommy moaned as Lil squeezed his hand. "Contraction!"

"Yeah." Phil shrugged. "She's had several in the last few minutes."

"Ooh." Lil smiled. "Its gone."

"Thank God!" Tommy said holding his hand and walked out.

"So, Lillian, you nervous?" Phil asked his sister. She shook her head. "Really?"

"Yeah." Lil said. "I'm excited. I'm gonna be a mom."

"Yeah," Phil said. "And me an uncle."

"Me too." Dil said.

"Not me, but we can still call me Uncle Chuckie." Chuckie smiled.

* * *

"Hey." Angelica said as Tommy sat down next to her.

"Hey." he said. "I cant believe it."

"What?" Laura asked.

"A dad. A father." Tommy said. "Im gonna be one."

"Have you even thought of names?" Angelica asked.

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" Susie ran in. "So?"

"She hasn't had him yet." Tommy said.

"Well?" Angelica said. "Names?"

"Names. Not really. I"ve always like Tommy Jr." Tommy said.

"Uh, no. How about Til, or Lommy?" Laura asked. "Tillian! Lhomas!"

"That is so lame." Susie said. "Chase."

"Chase what?" Tommy asked.

"Chase Pickles." Susie said.

"What? Is Chase actually a name?" Angelica asked. Susie nodded. "Ooh. I should probaly go apologize to that doctor." Angelica said and walked away.

"Kile." Tommy said.

"Nah." Laura and Susie said in unison.

"Tim."

"Nah."

"Jake."

"Nah."

"Justin."

"Nah."

"Mike."

"Hmmm."

"Mikey?" Tommy asked. "Mikey."

"Hey!" Laura yelled. "Its almost like Mickey!" she said. Tommy and Susie stared at her. "Or not."

"Hmm." Tommy thought.

"Mikey Pickles." Susie said.

"I dont know, maybe. " Tommy said. "Mikey."

* * *

"Okay," Doctor Bribes said. "PUSH!"

Lil, Phil, Chuckie, and Dil stared at the man. "huh?" Chuckie asked.

"Just a practice." Doctor Bribes said. His beeper then started beeping. "Ooh. Gotta go." he said and left.

"Wait," Lil said. Another man then walked in. "Oh kill me now." Lil groaned.

"Hello." Dr. Wallace grinned. "Hi Mrs. Pickles."

"Hello Wallace." Lil groaned.

"Who are you?" Dil asked.

"Wallace is the name. Tommy's probaly told you about me." Wallace said.

"No." Phil shook his head.

"He's the snake guy!" Lil yelled.

"Oh." Dil said. "OHHH!"

"The dude with the snake and the buying and the...biting?" Chuckie asked.

"Yep." Wallace said. "Anyway, looks like we're ready to begin. We're at ten centimeters."

"Come on, T." Phil yelled.

Tommy, Susie, Angelica, and Laura ran in. "Hey!" Wallace yelled.

"AHHHH!" Tommy screamed.

"If you're not a husband, get out!" Wallace shouted. Everyone but Tommy left the room. "The little sucker's on its way."

"Okay, honey, push! Push!" Tommy said as Lil grabbed his hand. "Oh please God, PUSH!" he yelled as she squeezed his hand. "Ahwa!" Tommy shouted.

Wallace and Lil looked at him. "What the hell was that?" Lil asked.

"Sorry." Tommy shrugged. "Ah! I cant do this!"

* * *

"Hey sport." Stu Pickles walked up to Tommy who was sitting on the steps in front of the hospital. "Where's Lil?"

"Having my kid. Angelica's in there with her." Tommy said. "What are you doing here, dad?"

"Come to see my grandson." Stu said. "When he gets here."

Tommy smiled at his father. "Whats it like?" Tommy asked. Stu looked confused. "Being a dad, I mean."

"Oh." Stu said. "Well, its a hard thing to define. But, when you were born, you looked at me with your big blue eyes and you smiled. You smiled big. You used your hand and grabbed my finger and I could have sworn you hugged my finger." Tommy smiled and Stu contiunued. "Of course Dil was different. He cried when he was born. And alot. You cried, but not much."

"Tommy!" they heared Angelica.

Tommy and Stu ran in and saw Lil holding a baby boy. "When we cut the cord," Wallace said. "We thought we cut something else." he chuckled.

"But you didn't?" Tommy asked.

"No. We cut the cord, not its thing." Wallace said.

"Name. Need a name." Phil said.

"I like Mikey." Tommy said.

"That sucks." Phil said.

"I dont know. I like it, sort of." Lil said. "Little Mikey. Mike. Michael. Mikey."

to be continued...


	16. An Old Face

Chapter 16

Phil ran into Tommy and Lil's apartment. As soon as he entered he covered his ears for all he could hear was crying. "Two weeks and still crying?" he asked as Tommy came up to him.

"Yeah. He wont stop." Tommy said right as the crying stopped.

"He stopped." Lil said walking out of her room. "Finally."

"Its worse than when Dil was born." Tommy sighed.

"Oh, I remember why I came." Phil said. "Do you want Laura to move out."

"Yes!" Lil said. "I put up with her at the hospital and over here for the party but thats it!"

"Okay." Phil said. "I'll go tell her."

* * *

"Chuckie." Dil shook his friend who was still asleep. "Chuck!" 

"Yeah!?" he jumped up.

"Why aren't you at work?"

"I quit. Thats not the job I want."

"Oh." Dil said. "Well, how about coming to work with me at the construction inc.?"

"Doesn't Larry also work there?"

"Yeah."

"I dont know."

"Come on. Please. I never see anyone I know there."

"Larry?"

"He never comes to work. Our boss is sort of...gay and he is sorta in love with Larry."

"Ohhhh." Chuckie said. "Sure, I'll come."

* * *

Dil drove him and Chuckie up to the construction site in his truck. They got out and Dil searched for his boss. "Hi Mr. Smith." Dil smiled. His boss turned around and looked strangely at Chuckie. 

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Um, sir, this is Chuckie." Dil introduced. "He would like a job."

"Well, no deal." Mr. Smith said. "I got enough people working for me."

"Come on, please. He needs this." Dil said.

"Well, tough." Smith said. "Now beat it, Chuck."

"Come on, Chuckie, I'll take you home." Dil sighed.

* * *

"Hey Laura." Phil said walking into his apartment. She was on the couch watching TV. She turned around and smiled. 

"Hi."

"Um, Laura, Tom and Lil said you should leave," Phil said and frowned. "Sorry."

"No, no." she waved her hands. "Its, uh, its okay. I understand completely. I'll go."

"Okay." Phil said. "Um, thanks, I guess."

"What? You want me to go?"

"Well, kind of. If I let you stay, it might ruin my friendship with T and Lil." Phil said. "So, if you could just go, please?"

"Fine. I'll start packing." she said and went into her room.

Phil sighed in relief and headed out of the apartment.

* * *

Phil walked into Lil's apartment and see was on the phone. She waved to Phil and continued talking. Phil sighed and sat down on the couch. "Hold on a sec." Lil said into the phone. She turned to Phil. "Well?"

"She's leaving, dont worry." Phil said.

"Okay, great." Lil went back to the phone. "Okay, I'm back."

Phil listened to Lil's conversation on the phone since there was noting else to do.

"Its okay, really." she said. "No. Kimi, I-"

"KIMI!" Phil jumped up.

"Oh crap." Lil groaned.

"Kimi.Kimi.Kimi.Kimi.Kimi." Phil said her name repeatedly.

"You want to talk to Phil?" Lil asked. "Uh huh. Yeah, okay. Right. No. Yes! No. Yeah. Okay, bye." she hung up then turned to Phil. "Yeah, she doesn't want to talk to you."

"Oh," Phil sat back down. "Well, what was you talking about?"

"She was just sorry she wasn't here when the baby was born." Lil said.

"How is she and...Z, doing?" Phil asked.

"Well, their relationship, is hitting, um, a rocky bottom." Lil said.

"Huh?"

"They broke up. Z aparently cared more about his money than her."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And he slept with the maid."

"Yeah?"

"And he got arrested."

"What?"

"Drunk driving." Lil nodded. "But hey, whatcha gonna do?"

"Yeah, guess you're right. Anything else?"

"Well, nothing, really, except...she's coming home!" Lil cheered.

"Yes!" Phil and Lil started jumping up and down.

* * *

"Welcome to Cheezy Chuck's, may I take your order?" the cashier asked as Dil and Chuckie tried to decide what to eat.

"Um, one Large Cheezy Chuck Pizza." Dil said.

"And two Cheezy Chuck Pepsis." Chuckie said. They got their food and sat down. "So, Dil, any news for a job for me?"

"No, but-hey wait!" Dil said. "Why not here? I mean your name is in the restaraunt's title."

"Dil, its a fast food dump."

"So? Come on. It'd awesome." Dil said.

"Well, okay." Chuckie got up and headed to the cashier. "Um, may I have a job application?"

"You'll have to talk to the manager. Thats him." the cashier pointed to a man drinking a beer at a table.

Chuckie walked over to him and asked, "Can I have a jon aplli-"

"Sure, start tomorrow." the manager said. "I'm Rick, thats Sneezy." he pointed to the guy at the fry cooker who then sneezed in them. "And that theres Einus." he pointed to the cashier. "Now get out."

Chuckie nervously left the building followed by Dil.

* * *

"Hey Lil." Doug smiled as she entered with Mikey in a stroller she was pushing. "Hey, you're not fat anymore."

Lil stared at him and walked over to the bar. She sat down and Doug came over. "Hey Doug." she smiled whiling glaring. "Look Mikey, thats Uncle Doug."

"Really?" Doug asked. "I'm Uncle Doug?"

"Shut up, Doug." Lil snapped. "Mikey, that would have been your daddy if he had forgot the-"

"Dont you think he's a little young, Lil?" Doug asked.

"Oh yeah, right." she said. Suddenly, a familiar face walked in and Lil and Doug stared open mouthed.

"Um excuse me." she said. "Can I have a coffee to go?"

"Oh, um, yeah." Doug nodded. He gave her a coffee and she left. "You know who that was?" Doug asked Lil.

"Yeah." Lil nodded. "Nicole."

* * *

"Okay, Chuckie." Einus said. "Press this button to open the cash register.

"I know how to open the cash register." Chuckie rolled his eyes.

"Ah ha!" Einus yelled. "I was testing you. Because the button doesn't work. You have to do this." Einus said and pounded the cash register with his fist until it flew open. "You see?"

"But the button does work. I use it a minute ago." Chuckie close it and pushed the button. It flew open again.

"I know but the other way's funner." Einus said.


	17. Kimi Comes Home

Chapter 17

"Okay, here's your order." Angelica gave a couple their food. She then headed back to the kitchen where a familiar face stepped in her way. "Jack? Hi."

"Hello." Jack smiled. "Where have you been lately?"

"You know, houseboats, Miami,the hospital, the usual." Angelica grinned.

"Ah. I see." Jack said. "So, would you like to join me for dinner tonight, around, oh I dont know, seven?"

"Seven might be good. Let me check with my supervisor." she turned around to a guy at a table with his head on it. He looked miserable. He just stared at Angelica. "Seven'll be fine." she turned back to Jack.

* * *

Lil ran out of Doug's Diner as fast as she could. She panicked and ran back inside. Then, a minute later, she came back out with Mikey in his stroller. She looked around for Nicole. She then gave up and headed home. She walked in with Tommy watching Wheel of Fortune. 

He turned around and smiled. "Hi."

"Hey." she smiled back. "You'll never guess who I saw today."

"Carrot Top!" Phil walked out of the bathroom.

"No!" Lil yeled. "Nicole."

"Nicole? Chuckie's old girlfriend Nicole?" Tommy asked.

"Chuckie's old what?" Chuckie walked in and asked.

"Chuckie's old, uh, reptar doll!" Phil yelled.

"What about it?" Chuckie asked.

"We found it." Tommy said.

"Really?" Chuckie asked.

"No." Lil shook her head. "Anyway, Chuck, whatcha been up to?"

"Well, a got a new job at Cheezy Chuck's." he said.

"Mentioning of new job. A got another too." Tommy said. "You're now looking at Thomas Pickles, playwright."

"You're gonna write plays?" Phil asked. "That is so gay!" he laughed.

"Well, this job is just until I can get back into the movie buisness." Tommy said. "Dont you need a job Phil?" Tommy asked.

"Nope. I'm still an assistant for Mr. Clark." Phil said. "And jeeze. He is so boring. A sat and listened to him say, anyone? Anyone? Anyone? For like, an hour."

"I wish I could get up enough nerve to quit my job." Lil said.

"You guys!" Angelica ran in. "Guess what?"

"You got a new job?" Tommy asked.

"No, why?"

"Everyone else is." he said and walked over to the fridge.

"Well, okay, whatever." Angelica said.

"So, what?" Tommy asked opening a pop.

"You know Jack?" she asked.

"Yeah, that really cute guy that comes into the restaraunt all the time." Lil said.

"He is so cute!"

"I know!" Lil cheered. Tommy walked up behind her and smiled sarcasticlly at her.

"I'm right here." he said.

"Anyway," Angelica said, "He asked me out and I finally said yes!"

"Didn't he already ask you out and you say yes once already?" Chuckie asked.

"No." Angelicca. "Where are you from? Planet stupid?"

"You said yes!" Lil cheered.

"Yep!"Angelica smiled.

"Good choice. I probaly would have said something like, OH YEAH!" Lil shouted.

"Still here." Tommy glared.

"Oh, T, its four. We gota go." Chuckie said looking at his watch.

"Where ya going?" Phil asked.

"Airport." Chuckie said. Phil look very interseted. "To pick up Ki-" Phil had a big smile on his face. "Kimaah."

"Kimaah?" Phil asked. "What the hell kind of name is Kimaah?"

"British." Tommy nodded casually.

"Come on, tell me wy I can't come to pick up Kimi." Phil said.

"Well, she said that she still dont wanna see you." Tommy said.

"But dont worry, Phil. We'll bring her straight here." Chuckie said as him and Tommy walked out the door.

* * *

The walked over to Dil's truck which was parked outside. He was in the driver's seat reading a magazine. "Hey!" Dil saw them. "Bout time!" 

"Why is Dil the only one of us who has a car?" Tommy asked and he and Chuckie got in.

"Angelica's got one." Chuckie said.

"I meant a car that **we **can use." Tommy said.

* * *

Chuckie, Tommy, and Dil watched the plane land and a few moments later, people started flooding out. They saw Kimi and she came over to them. "Hi guys." she hugged all of them.

"Good to have you back, sis." Chuckie smiled.

"Yeah." Tommy agreed.

"So, what ever happened to that rat, Z?" Chuckie asked.

"Nothing." Kimi said.

"What?"Dil asked.

"Z never cared more about his money, sleep with the maid, or get arrested." Kimi said.

"I-I dont understand." Chuckie said.

"I just said all that, so, um, so it wouldn't look like I came back just for Phil." Kimi looked down.

Tommy and Dil looked at eachother and Chuckie just sighed.


	18. Back With The Gang

Chapter 18

"Geeze, this guy is stupid." Phil said watching Wheel of Fortune. "It's The Wicked Bitch!"

"The Wicked Witch?"

"Correct!"

"Damn" Phil said. Lil walked out of the bathroom and rolled her eyes at Phil.

"Phil, please stop cussing in front of the baby." Lil said. "I dont want his first word to be the f word."

"Okay, okay." Phil nodded. "When will they be back?"

"Anytime now." Angelica said reading a magazine at the table.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Phil quickly turned around and smiled, then frowned. "Oh, just you." Phil sighed.

"Good afternoon to you, too." Susie smiled sarcasticlly. Suddenly, Dil walked in followdd by Tommy. "Hey guys."

"Tommy!" Phil yelled. "Where's, um, Kimi?"

"Chuckie took her to his place." Tommy said. "She refused on coming here."

"Really?" Phil asked.

"No." Dil said. "Chuckie and her and parking my truck."

Just then, Chuckie and Kimi walked in. "Kimi!" Susie and Lil both screamed and hugged her.

"Hey guys." she smiled. She saw Mikey. "Aww. Hi there." she smiled at him. She then looked up and saw Phil looking at her. "Hi."

Tommy and the rest all looked at eachother. "The diner?" he asked.

"Yeah!"

"Okay!" the all agreed and everyone except Kimi and Phil left. But, Mikey was left in there. Lil suddenly rushed back in. "Geeze." she said. "You are a hand full." she grabbed him and left.

"So. Whats up?" Phil asked getting up. He walked over to the fridge, got him out a beer, and opened it.

"Haven't changed much, have you?" Kimi smirked.

Phil glared at her and dumped the beer in the sink. "Well, how's Z?"

"Just a money loving, cheating, drunk." Kimi shrugged.

"Interesting." Phil nodded. "Hey, uh, Kimi."

"Phil."

"Kimi, I-"

"I dont want to get back together, Phil. I'm sorry." Kimi said. "But, maybe we can still be friends?"

"Oh, um, oh yeah. I was just about to say the same the same thing." Phil siad. "Infact, I met someone."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah, her name is, uh, um, Summer."

"Summer what?"

"Summer, uh, Break. Summer Break."

"Really? Cool. Anyway, friends?"

"Friends."

"Now, lets go join our other friends at the diner."

* * *

"Okay, lets see." Tommy said. He stared at a type writer he had found. The paper had nothing writne on it. "Oh! Title!" he started typing. "Love's Harsh Consequences. By Thomas Pickles." he smiled at his paper. "Excellent. Okay, what now?" he thought of what to write. 

"Tommy!" Dil ran in. "Doug's drunk and giving away free food." he yelled and ran back out.

"Break time!" Tommy cheered running out.

* * *

That night, Phil laid in his bed. He turned over and missed seeing Kimi there. He sighed and remembered their times together. He remembered what started it all. Working with her at the school. It was the kids who had persuaded him to go out with her. Then, at the houseboat, everyone found out. He was almost killed by Chuckie, though. But, the trip to Miami. That ruined it all. This was all Z's fault. He had to be a rich snooty jerk. He sat up and thought. It wasn't Z's fault. It was his. He broke it up. She really did love him and he ruined it.

* * *

Kimi slept in Chuckie and Dil's guest bedroom. She felt guilty putting Chuckie on the couch but she had more important things to think about. Phil. But, it was his fault they broke up, not her's or Z's.

* * *

The next morning, Kimi was at the kitchen table looking through a newspaper at apartment ads. "Whatcha doing?" Dil asked coming out of his bedroom.

"Oh, hey. Just looking for an apartment." Kimi said.

"Okay, well, I gotta go to work. So see ya, and dont look in my closet." Dil smiled and walked out the door.

"Lets see." Kimi looked through. "Okay, um, this one looks good. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms. Looks nice. Wait. No kitchen? What kind of home has no kitchen?"

* * *

"Whats up?" Phil walked into Cheezy Chuck's and approached Chuckie who was at the counter.

"Hey." he turned around. "Want anything to eat?"

"Nah." Phil shook his head. "Just came to visit you. So did Kimi go back to work?"

"I dont think so." Chuckie shook his head. "Maybe she did. She really didn't mention it. Hey, wait. Dont you need to be at work?"

"Son of a-" Phil yelled running out.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late." Phil ran in to see Kimi at the desk. "Hi."

"Hey. I'm back." she smiled.

"Well, I know." Phil chuckled.

Vinny walked past and nudged Phil. "Hey hey." he smiled.

"Shut up." Phil snapped.

"Phil, I'll be right back." Kimi walked out.

"Phil!" Jeffrey yelled. "you two broke up? I cant believe this!"

"I told you kids when I got back." Phil said.

"Yeah, so?" Vinny shrugged.

* * *

"Excuse me." a girl tapped Chuckie on the shoulder. He sighed and turned aorund.

"Welcome to Cheeezzzyyyy-" he stopped himself staring at the girl.

"C-Chuckie?"

"N-N-Nicole?"

"How have you been, Chuckie?"

"G-Good." Chuckie shrugged.

"Well, I gotta go." Nicole quickly left.

"Wait dont you want a-" Chuckie then realized she couldn't hear him. "-Cheezy Chuck Cheese Pizza?"


	19. Summer's Entrance

Chapter 19

"Lets see," Tommy stared at his typewriter. "Love's Harsh Consequences. Hm. Neat name, I guess." he began to type, finally. "Okay, um, 'Phil', uh, 'Phil Smith sat at his kitchen table staring at the most important person in his life, Kimi', um, 'Kimi Gregory', yeah, this is pretty good."

"Hey!" Dil walked into Tommy's apartment. "Whats up?"

"Oh, just writing my play, here read." Tommy said.

"Okay. Phil Smith sat at his kitchen table staring at the most important person in his life, Kimi Gregory, yeah, this is pretty good."

"Thanks."

"No, you typed that." Dil pointed to the paper.

"Oh! Oops." Tommy backspaced and asked, "So? Was it good?"

"Well, you did sort of write it as a story, not a play." Dil shrugged.

Tommy glared at him. "Dont you have to be at work?"

"Nope. Just got fired." Dil smiled.

"Are you proud of that?"

"Yes actually." Dil nodded. "I can hang out here with you."

"Oh God, get a job!" Tommy begged.

"Alright, fine." Dil rolled his eyes.

"Search the newspaper or something." Tommy said.

"Oh, mention of newspapers, Kimi needs a place. Maybe she could stay in your guest bedroom?"

"Yeah sure, okay. Lil wont mind, but, um, how does that have to do with the newspaper?"

"Oh! She was looking through it this morning for apartments."

"Ah, I see. Very large connection you have there."

"Jeeze, you dont have to be a jackass." Dil sighed and walked out the door.

* * *

Later that evening, Kimi walked into Tommy and Lil's with Tommy, Lil, and Chuckie there. "Hey guys." Kimi said. 

"Hey." Tommy said.

"Hey Kim, you can move into our guest bedroom if you'd like?" Lil suggested.

"Really? Oh great! Thanks guys." she hugged Tommy and Lil.

"Well, guys, I gotta go. My lunch break ended like," Chuckie looked at his watch, "Four hours ago, so, see ya!" he said and left.

"Hey guys!" Kimi yelled. "This will be awesome! We'll be roomies!"

"Yeah." Lil nodded.

"Hey hey!" Kimi smiled. "Come and knock on our door." she started singing. Tommy and Lil looked at her strangely.

"Ha ha, yeah. Thats the Three's Company theme song." Tommy grinned sarcasticlly.

"Yeah, I know." Kimi said. "Anyway, guys, thanks." Kimi said and walked out.

Tommy and Lil stared at the door, then eachother. "What the hell was that?" Tommy asked.

"Huh?" Lil looked strangely. "That was the Three's Company theme-"

"I know that!" Tommy yelled. "DIdn't you notice she was acting a little odd?"

"Well, she's excited. She hasn't lived here, in what? A year or two? She misses it and us. She's been gone for several months." Lil said.

* * *

Phil walked into Doug's Diner and walked to the middle of it. He looked around and shrugged. "Summer!?" he yelled out. "Summer Break!?" 

"Yeah?" a girl asked looking up from her magazine.

Phil turned around and saw a gril with beautiful long brown hair and she was just plain pretty. Phil grinned and walked over. "You'll do." he smiled.

* * *

"Hey everyone!" Phil opened the door to Tommy's apartment. Tommy, Lil, Dil, and Angelica were there. "This is Summer." he showed everyone the girl that had come with him. "This is Dil, Tommy, Angelica, and ,my sister, Lil. Kim should be around here somewhere." 

Tommy and Dil turned the heads on the side and stared smiling. Kimi then walked out of the guest bedroom and stared with her mouth open. Tommy and Dil continued smiling. Then, Lil came over and pushed their heads together knocking htme out of the trance.

Kimi just stood there staring.

"Kimi." Phil turned around. "Well, this is-"

"Summer." Kimi said. "I know. You told me about her."

"Okay." Phil nodded.

"How long have you two been going out?" Tommy asked.

"About a week actually." Phil said.

"How'd ya meet?" Angelica asked.

"Um, in college." Summer said. Phil nodded along until she said college. "We met in college then we ran into eachother again and-"

"Um, Summer, a minute please!" Phil drug her ot the bathroom.

Everyone but Dil was staring strangely since she said college. Dil just daydreamed. "Hey wait!" he burst out. "Phil didn't go to college!"

"Um," Tommy turned to him, "Duh!"

"Summer!" Phil yelled quietly. "I told you to say high school!"

"Well, I figured college would be more believable." Summer shrugged.

"I didn't go to college!" Phil yelled. "Now, we need something to cover this up."

"Oh, how about-"

"No no. You've already screwed up enough. I didn't give you a hundred dollars for nothing. Oh! I got it!" Phil smiled.

Phil and Summer walked out of the bathroom casually. "Hey, uh, Phil." Lil walked over. "How'd you too meet again?"

"Who?" Phil asked.

"You and Summer." Lil said.

"High school." Phil nodded.

"Didn't you say-" Angelica said.

"High school. Yeah." Phil said.

"Right." Tommy stared strangely. "Whatever."

"Lets eat!" Dil smiled. Everyone stared at him.

"Were we planning on it?" Tommy asked.

"No." Lil said. "But, I made chicken just in case." she smiled pulling a roasted chicken out of the oven. "Dig in."

"Actually, Lil, I gonna go." Kimi said.

"No, Kim, dont go." Phil said.

"No, no. I have something to do." Kimi nodded. "Yeah, I have to, um, paint my room." she said and headed towards the door.

"But you live here now." Phil said. Kimi stopped and turned around.

"Oh yeah." Kimi grinned. "Okay then. I'm going to go get some paint." she siad and left.

Lil was preparing the dinner while Phil, Tommy, and Summer were watching TV. Angelica walked over to get a drink. "So Ange, how'd the date with Jack go?" Lil asked.

"Very good." Angelica said. "He took me to dinner, then we went back to his place and talked for a while. He kissed me."

"Tounge?"

"Oh yeah." Angelica nodded. "Then, he drove me home. He walked me up to my apartment and we said goodbye."

"You slept with him didn't ya?"

"Oh yeah."

Thats it for this chapter. I hope you're enjoying it. I'll make the next chapter soon.


	20. Dil the Murderer

Chapter 20

Kimi had finally got done unpacking her stuff back into her old bedroom. She walked out of the room and over to the fridge. Tommy was on the couch as Threes Company came on. Kim started humming to the theme song.

"All done?" Tommy asked.

"Yep." she nodded.

"I would've helped but,um,I was busy with my play." Tommy said. "Ah hell, you aint gonna believe that. I'm a sorryass."

"I know." Kimi grinned. "Anyway, I'm sure Phil can't handle much more of the class by himself. I'd better be off." she said and walked out the door.

"I'm alone." Tommy sighed. "Finally." he then turned it to QVC.

* * *

At Kimi's class, she opened the door. Her smile turned toa frown. Phil was introducing Summer to the class. She sighed and walked in. "Hello DeVille." Kimi sighed. 

"Hi Kimi." Phil said. "Something wrong?"

"Nope." Kimi said. "Um, sorry, but Summer can't be in here."

"Huh?" Summer asked. "Why?"

"Because, you can't be in a classroom unless you're a teacher, or, um, well a teacher." Kimi said.

"Oh, alright." Summer said. She gave a quick kiss to Phil and left.

"Hey, uh, Finster." Pangborn poked his head in.

"Hm?"

"Uh, yeah, you're fired. DeVille too." Pangborn grinned and walked away.

Both Kimi and Phil stood with their mouths wide opened staring at the door. The kids too. Kimi and Phil ran out and caught up to Pangborn. "Did you say fired?" Phil asked.

"Yep." Pangborn said. "Sorry, but, Phil's a horrible teacher, and Kimi left for several months without notice. Took two days before we even noticed we needed a substitute."

"Fine." Phil grunted.

"Yeah, we don't need you." Kimi said.

* * *

"We need him pretty bad." Phil said. Him and Kimi were at his apartment laying their heads on the counter. 

"No luck?"

"Nope. You?"

"No." Kimi groaned. "Maybe we shouldn't have stormed out like that."

"Or kick him in the shin." Phil said. "And maybe we should've gotten our stuff from the room."

"Hey guys." Tommy came in. "Got any beer?"

"You haven't drunk a beer in two weeks." Phil said.

"I know but I'm watching Smokey and The Bandit and there's a good chase going on." Tommy smiled.

"Yeah, I think there's some." Phil sat back.

"Thanks." Tommy opened the fridge and grabbed one. "See ya." he said and walked out.

"Do ya think Tommy would know where we could get a job?" Kimi asked.

"Doubt it." Phil said. "He's got a pretty dead end job right now."

"Hey, what's Dil doing now?" Kimi asked.

"Still contruction." Phil said.

"Well, I'm unemployed." Dil walked in.

"What? What happened?" Phil asked. "Fired? Quit?"

"Nope." Dil said. "A crane exploded after dropping a wrecking ball on, well, let me start over. This guy, Dennis or Derrel or something, he has a shotgun."

"A shotgun?" Kimi asked.

"He is very secure person." Dil said. "Anyway, he lays his shotgun on the ground to go to a portapotty. The crane drops its wrecking ball on the shotgun. The shotgun explodes and shoots a shot at some gasoline barrels. They explode causing a chain reaction with more barrels and the crane. The crane falls over on a portapotty."

"The one Dennis, or Derrel, or whoever was in?" Phil asked.

"Nope." Dil said and took a deep breath. "My boss."

"Oh my God." Kimi said. "Did it-"

"Unfortunately, no wait, fortunately, yes." Dil said. "I hated him." he shrugged. "Anyway, so the crane falls on my boss while he's taking a crap and crushes several other portapotties. Derrek is hurt but he's alive."

"Was anyone in the crane?" Phil asked.

"Yeah, he wasn't hurt though. Actually, he was asleep and didn't even realize what happened until he was thrown out of the crane as it fell over. I guess he fell over on the button." Dil shrugged.

"It was you, wasn't it?" Phil calmly asked.

"Of course."

* * *

Chuckie was at his post at work bored to death. His nap was broken with a tap on the shoulder. "Whoa! Yeah? Huh?" he woke up. Nicole was standing there. 

"Chuckie." she said. "I want to talk to you."

"Okay." Chuckie said. "Hey, I'm taking my break!" he yelled to his boss who was at a table and just waved to him.

"Chuckie," she sat down at a table. Chuckie sat down next to her. "Chuckie, about what happened back in college-"

"Oh, I was hoping that wouldn't come up." he chuckled.

"Heh heh. Yeah, but, I've decided to finally let you explain." Nicole said.

"Oh, okay." Chuckie said. "Well, I was drunk, young, crazy, you know. I was sad. Sad that I may never be with you."

"You was always with me, Chuckie." Nicole said and kissed him.

* * *

"I'll be there for you," Lil hummed the song as she went through papers in her filing cabinet. 

"Hi sweetie." Tommy came in.

"Huh? What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Well, Kimi wanted me to ask you if you think you can get her a job here." he said.

"Did she quit?"

"Nope." Tommy said. "Got fired. Phil too. Dil too. Well, actually, Dil's company kinda, well, blew up."

"Huh?"

"Dil kinda, well, killed his boss."

"WHAT!?"

"It was an accident."Tommy said. "But, enough about that. Can Kimi have a job?"

"I don't know, I'll have to check with my boss." Lil said. "Now, how did Dil kill his boss!?"

"Well, he really didn't, but-let Dil tell ya later." Tommy said. "Hey where's Mikey?"

"Child care center." Lil said. "The company finally put one in. Lots of kids there."

"Really?"

"No, just Mikey and two other kids."

* * *

Chuckie locked the door to his apartment and smiled at Nicole. He walked over and kissed her. "Chuckie." she said. 

"Yes?" he asked and kissed her again.

"I have to pee."

"Oh!" Chuckie let her go. "Sorry."

Nicole smiled and walked into his bathroom. Chuckie took a deep breath. There was a knock on the door. He sighed and opened it. "Oh my God." he said.

Samantha was standing there with a kid about 1 or two years old in her arms. "He's your's." she said.

Chuckie stood with his eyes and mouth wide open. He turned around and saw Nicole also staring. Chuckie looked back at Sam, then at Nicole. He laughed casually. "This probaly isn't gonna increase my chances with you." he grinned nervously at Nicole.


	21. Chuckie's Son

Chapter 21

"My, um, my son?" Chuckie asked nervously. Nicole grabbed her purse and headed towards the door. "No wait!" he yelled to her as she walked into the hall.

"You lied to me again." Nicole said and walked away towards the elevator.

"Yes, Chuckie." Sam said. "Your son."

"My son? W-When? How old is he? What's his name?" Chuckie asked.

Sam said, "He is your son. He's 2. His name is Fredrick. Fredrick Finster."

"Can he talk?"

"He can say hi and bite me."

"Bite me." Fredrick then said.

"How did he learn that?" Chuckie asked. "Wait, nevermind that, how have you had him two years?"

"I had him two years ago without you and kept him from you for two years." she said. "Chuckie, you can be as involved as you want. I've been fine by myself with him. Freddy isa handful but if you-"

"No." Chuckie said. "He's my son. I take responsibility for him too."

"Chuckie." Sam smiled. "Thank you for being so supportive and calm."

"Calm!?" he yelled. "I never said anything about staying calm!"

"Chuckie." Sam said. "Please calm down. Its nota big deal."

"Whoa! Are you kidding me?" Chuckie asked. "Of course it's a big deal!"

"Chuckie!" Sam shouted. She put Fredrick on the couch and pulled Chuckie into the hall. "Chuckie, I brought him to you becuase my fiancee-"

"Fiancee!?" he yelled. "You're engaged?"

"Oh yeah. Forgot to mention that." Sam said. "Anyway, he doesn't like Fredrick very much. YOu don't have to keep him constantly, just every other week. If you will that is. You don;t have to."

"I want to." Chuckie said. "But, I don't know him. Who is my son?"

"Fredrick Finster." Sam said. "He is cute, sweet, playful."

"I know but, but-" Chuckie slid down the wall and sat onto the floor of the hall.

"Chuckie, if you have any problems, talk to me, or Tommy. Doesn't he have a son?"

"Yeah." Chuckie answered. "Okay."

"Huh?"

"Okay. I'll do this." Chuckie said. "i'll keep him for the rest of the week, and drop him off at your place on Sunday. Then so on and so forth."

"Oh my God. Thank you Chuckie. So much, thank you." Sam said and gave him and quick peck on the lips. She pulled away and they stared into eachother's eyes.

"Uhh." Chuckie looked away. "Okay. See you next week, I guess."

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "Bye, and thank you." she said and left.

Chuckie walked back inside and smiled at Fredrick. Freddrick smiled back. Chuckie closed his door and walked over to the phone. He dialed a number and put it to his ear. "Hello. Tommy? You're never gonna believe this."

* * *

"So, I'm being sued." Dil told Kimi and Phil at Doug's Diner. 

"Your are?" Kimi asked. "Whoa. You think you gotta chance?"

"Of course." Dil said. "I got a damn good lawyer. His name's Clint, um, Clint something. It's like Clint Thompson or something like that."

"Clint Thompson?" Phil asked. "Oh yeah! He's the guy I had as a lawyer when McDonalds sued me for tackling and injurying a Ronald McDonald."

"Yeah, I remember that!" Kimi yelled. "Yeah, you...lost."

Phil and Kimi looked and Dil who looked nervous. "Um, was it because of-"

"Yep." Phil said. "Unfortunately. Clint is the worst lawyer there is."

"Crap." Dil said. "You do know there's a possibility I'll be sentenced to death."

Phil and Kimi remained silent and Dil looked as he was waiting for a reply.

Phil finally spoke up, "No comment."

* * *

Chuckie had Fredrick in his arms at Tommy's showing him to Tommy. "He's your son?" Tommy asked. 

"Yeah." Chuckie said. "Name's Fredrick, or Freddy."

"He's your son?" Tommy asked again.

"Yeah."

"He's your son?"

"Yes."

"Your son?"

"YES!" Chuckie yelled.

"She kept him from you for two years?" Tommy asked.

Lil with Mikeywalked in and saw Chuckie and Freddy. "Hi Chuckie." she said. "Who's this?"

"My-" Chuckie was about to say but Tommy interupted him.

"His nephew." Tommy said.

"What!?" she yelled. "Is he Kimi's?" she whispered. Tommy and Chuckie just stared empty minded at her.

"No." Tommy said. "It's his long lost brother's."

"What?" Lil knew they were up to something. "I know you two are up to something, probably stole him or something, but I'll worry about it later." she handed Mikey to Tommy. "Here, you take him and I'm going shopping." she said and walked back out.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Chuckie asked.

"Because, it would just start trouble. She'd never stop talking about. She would never except he's your son!"

"Ah ha!" Lil ran back in. "He's your-wait, he's your son!? How can he be your son?"

"Lets go down to the diner and I'll explain everything."

* * *

At the diner, the whole gang was there and Chuckie had just got done telling the whole story about what happened. "Well, that's it." he said. 

"Wow." Dil said.

"Unbelievable." Phil sighed.

"If Tommy had kept a kid from me, I wouldn't be too happy about it." Lil said.

"I'm not happy about this at all." Chuckie said. "But, I've always wanted a kid." he smiled at Freddy who was in his lap. Mikey was in Tommy's. "And now I've got one. He's my son and I love him." Chuckie smiled at him again.

Tommy and Lil smiled at eachother then at Mikey who smiled back at them.

"Bite me." Freddy giggled.

Hope you liked this chapter. Chuckie's got a son. Wow. Anyway, it's been a while since I've updated so i'll be putting in alot of chapters for a while, hopefully.>


	22. The Way Things Could've Been Pt1

Chapter 22

The whole gang was at Doug's Diner talking about. "I tell ya guys," Tommy said whiling drinking a coffee, "We've had some good times haven't we?"

"Wait." Phil said. "Why are you bringing this up? Oh my God. You're moving aren't you? Are you dying? Deciding not to be our friend?"

"No." Tommy said. "I was just thinking, what if things were different?"

"What do ya mean?" Chuckie asked.

"Well," he started, "what if Lil and I never got together, what if Chuckie didn't havea son, what if Kimi and Phil never got together for a while, what if Susie was a singer, what if Phil had taken that job offering from Paramount Studios for a director's assistant?" Tommy said.

"I don't know." Angelica said.

"Me too." Phil said. "I wonder."

* * *

Tommy walked into his apartment . Inside was Phil and his sister, Lil. "Hey guys." Tommy said to them and opened his fridge door, grabbing a beer and openeing it. "What's up?"

"Lil and I were talking about Kimi. Can you believe it?" Phil said.

"I know." Tommy said. "Getting married. To Z. Never saw it comin."

"Me too." Lil said. "Anyway, I've gotta go, the wedding's in five months! Not much time to get ready!" she said and ran out.

"Hey T, did Z ever say who's gonna be his best man?" Phil asked. "I don't think so. It'll probably be Chuckie, though. So, don't get your hopes up." he shrugged.

"Hello there snuggy pie!" a familiar voice said and walked in.

"Hello Laura." Tommy said and gave her a peck on the lips. Phil watched with a disgusted face as they started making out.

"Oh God!" Phil yelled. "There is a humane person in the room!"

"Sorry, Phil." Laura chuckled. "Anyway, I can't stay long, my new friend at work, well-"

"Oh yeah," Tommy said. "That, what's his name, Brad? Yeah, he's a coastguard, right?"

"Yeah." Laura said. "He's just working down at the restaraunt for a spring job."

"Okay, bye bye." he said kissing her again.

"Bye." she said. "Bye Phil." she said to Phil and left.

"Bye Laura." Phil rolled his eyes.

"Dude." Tommy said. "Why can you not except her? I am married to her and you can't live with that!?"

"I'm trying, man. But, there's just something I don't trust. Like she'll leave you for Brad or something. It's probably just me or something." Phil said.

"Hey guys." Chuckie walked in. "Whatcha doin?"

"Hey Chuck, who's Z's best man?" Phil asked.

"Me." Chuckie said.

"Damn." Phil grunted. "I'll never be a best man!"

"You can be my best man." Chuckie said.

Phil stared at him for a minute then spoke up, "Damn, I'll never bea best man!"

Chuckie glared at him. "Anyway, Tommy,Susie said she wanted to take us all to dinner."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because she finally got an album made!"

"That's so great!" Tommy shouted.

"Yeah." Phil agreed.

"Hey honey." another person walked in.

"Hi May." Phil said and kissed her.

Tommy then rolled his eyes at her. Phil gave him a mean look. May turned to Tommy and Tommy then put a smile on his face. "Hiya May!" he said and hugged her. "Haven't seen you for three hours."

"Also, Tommy, about tomorrow's episode of It's Your Feelings, I feel that my character shouldn't kick Morris in the shin, but in the ass." May said.

Tommy just stared at her. "No, no, I don't think so." he said. "I'm gonna go now, guys. See ya. And please, everyone, get out of my apartment."

* * *

Lil and Kimi were shopping for a wedding dress. "Kimi, this one looks good." Lil picked one out and showed it to her.

"No." Kimi said. "No, it just doesn't say, 'Hey Z, lova ya.'"

"Whatever." Lil rolled her eyes and threw it back on the rack.

"Oh oh!" she yelled. "This one!"

She went into the changing room and tried on the wedding dress. She walked back out and smiled at Lil. "Ohhh." Lil covered her mouth and nose with both hands. "You look so beautiful." she said about to cry.

"Thanks," Kimi said. "I cannot believe it. I'm getting married."

* * *

"I can't believe it." Phil said to Chuckie. "She's getting married.

to be continued.........

Another chapter done. This is what would happen if things were diffrent and its quite interesting.


	23. The Way Things Could've Been Pt2

It's been a long time since I've updated so here goes.

Chapter 23

"Hey." Phil walked into Tommy's apartment the next morning.

"Hey, what's up?" Tommy asked turning off the TV.

"Do you think Kimi actually...loves Z?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah I do." Tommy nodded. "Why?"

"Huh?" Phil looked at him. "Oh nothing."

"AH!" Angelica barged in.

"Oh God." Phil shook his head. "You looked in the mirror again, didn't you?"

Angelica glared at him. "No, you gigolo." Angelica said. "Chuckie was in a car wreck."

"So?" Tommy shrugged.

"Have you no compasion?" Angelica asked. "There is no best man."

Phil then looked up and at Angelica. "Huh?"

"He'll be better before the wedding. It's not for 5 months." Tommy said.

"Didn't you hear?" Angelica asked. "They moved the wedding. To next week."

"WHAT?" Tommy and Phil both yelled. "Why wasn't we told?"

"Oh yeah." Angelica nodded. "DON'T tell Tommy and Phil."

"Huh?" Phil asked.

"When did they change the date?" Tommy asked.

"About two months ago." Angelica said.

"But we heard Lil say that she had-" Phil said.

"5 months. Just another thing to keep you from it."

"Hey guys." Kimi walked in.

"You bitch!" Tommy yelled. Kimi just stared at him. She looked at Angelica and Phil then back to Tommy.

"The greetings around here get worse everyday." Kimi grinned.

"You changed the wedding?" Phil asked.

"Angelica! You told!" Kimi shouted.

"Sorry!" Angelica said.

"Why?" Phil asked.

"Okay okay." Kimi said. "At your wedding Tommy, both of you got drunk and streaked."

"It wasn't the wedding!" Tommy yelled. "It was the reception."

"I don't want that." Kimi sighed.

"We won't act up!" Phil said. "Promise."

"Fine." Kimi smiled. "You can come." Phil smiled and nodded but Tommy crossed his arms and looked away. "What?"

"I can't believe you'd do this to us." Tommy said. "Me and Phil. We're like your best friends."

"Not really." Kimi said.

"WHAT?" Phil yelled. "Count us out." Phil said.

"Forget you." Tommy said. "I'm still going."

"Okay, me too." Phil smiled. "But, I got to catch a plane to Paramount Studios. Later." Phil said and left.

"Okay, Kimi." Angelica said. "We need a new best man."

"What about Chuckie?" Kimi asked.

"He got in a car wreck." Angelica sighed.

"I'll do it." Tommy smiled.

"Okay." Kimi smiled.

* * *

"So, Z." Tommy walked into Doug's Diner seeing Z at the bar.

"Yeah?" he turned to Tommy.

"Did you hear?" Tommy asked smiling. "I'm your new best man."

"Oh, yeah." Z nodded. "Chuckie got in a car wreck, right? Hey, have you heard anything about him?"

"No, actually." Tommy shook his head. "I've not heard anything."

"I have." Doug said cleaning a glass.

Tommy and Z stared at him and Tommy laughed and said, "No you've not."

"Oh yes I have." Doug nodded. "Larry found it out. I wasn't that bad. Chuckie's not hurt, car's hardly hurt. Chuckie just didn't want to go through the hell he did being Tommy's best man again by being Z's."

"What?" Z asked.

"It's true." Doug said.

"I'll get to the bottom of this." Tommy said and left the building.

It's been a long time since I've updated. Well, I hope you are still enjoying the story and haven't forgotten what all has happened.


	24. The Way Things Could've Been Pt3

Chapter 24

It's been a long time since I've updated so I finally did. Hope you guys haven't forgotten about it so please read, review, and enjoy.

* * *

Tommy ran into the room that Chuckie was in to see him doing jump-and-jacks. Once Chuckie saw him, he screamed and jumped into the bed. 

"I thought you broke your arm." Tommy glared at his friend.

"Uhhhhh." Chuckie looked around. "Fine! I admit it!"

"Admit what, exactly?"

"I just didn't want to be in the wedding. I got no problem attending it, I just don't wanna be the best man or usher or anything like that."

"How come?" Tommy asked eagerly. "Didn't you have fun being my best man?"

Chuckie just stared at Tommy for a moment then said, "Truth?"

"Yes."

"No." Chuckie shook his head. "No. No fun what so ever."

"What?" Tommy yelled. "Why not?"

"Too much responsibility." Chuckie sighed.

"But responsibility is what you're good at." Tommy grinned.

"I know." Chuckie sighed again. "But, not this kind. I just...don't want to do it."

"So you purposely put yourself in a car wreck to get out of it?" Tommy asked.

"No, of course not." Chuckie shook his head. "I know one of the doctors."

"Really?" Tommy asked. "So, what? You bribed him?"

"No." Chuckie shook his head. "He just put me in this room, gave me a cast, and told everyone I was in a car wreck."

"What's his name?" Tommy asked.

"Hello." a man walked in.

"Tommy, this is Doctor Wallace." Chuckie introduced his friend.

"Hello, Tommy." Wallace grinned at Tommy.

"Hi." Tommy shook his hand. "Hey, have we met?"

"Uh, no." Wallace shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Hm." Tommy nodded. "Okay. Hey Wallace."

"Yeah?"

"Do you have a snake? You look like a snake person."

"Nah," Wallace shook his head. "I've thought about it, though. Bye." And Wallace left the room.

"Hey Chuck." Tommy turned back to Chuckie.

"Yeah?"

"I'm Z's best man now."

"Get out of it." Chuckie said. "I'm telling you, it's a hard job."

"I don't like hard jobs."

"You gotta keep up with the ring." Chuckie said. "That was a hard one. Did you know that I lost your's during the bachelor party? I accidently put it in a muffin and Doug ate it. Phil and I rushed him to the emergency room."

Tommy was just glaring at Chuckie. "My ring was in Doug's stomach?"

"Colon, actually." Chuckie nodded. "Don't worry, T, at least you're not wearing it. Heh heh."

Tommy continued to glare at Chuckie then changed the subject. "Anyway, Chuckie," he glared at Chuckie one more time, "Should I get out of it?"

"I don't know." Chuckie shrugged. "I mean, alot of guys love to be a best man, but that's just me."

* * *

"I'm so sorry, Z." Tommy said into the phone. "I know. No. No. Yes. You know it, buddy. No, I'm pretty sure that if you have gonorrhea, you can't be a best man. Okay, bye." Tommy then hung up the phone and looked over to Lil who was glaring at him and sitting on his couch. 

"You honestly think he's gonna believe that you have gonorrhea?" Lil asked still glaring at him.

Tommy smiled and sat down next to her. He chuckled, "Lillian, I don't even know what gonorrhea is. I just heard it on TV."

"Well, Thomas, I happen to have a dictionary in my purse." Lil grinned and reached down on the floor and pulled up her very big bag.

"Gosh, Lil, what all you got in there?"

"Lots." Lil smiled pulling out a dictionary and opening it, conveniently on the correct page. "Let's see. Ah ha. Here it is. Gonorrhea: A venereal disease involving inflammatory discharge from the urethra or vagina." Lil grinned again and returned the book to her purse.

Tommy stared at Lil with his eyes and mouth wide open. Lil smiled out of success and patted him on the cheek then got up off the couch and left his apartment.

Tommy got up and sighed, "Crap."

* * *

"Damn!" Phil yelled running into the diner. He then stopped and looked around to see it empty. "Hello?" he called out. He shrugged and left and head towards Tommy's apartment. 

He ran in and yelled, "Damn!"

"Crap! Crap! Crap!" Tommy was yelling running all over the apartment.

"What is it, T?" Phil asked putting his hand on Tommy making him stop.

"I have gonorrhea." Tommy said.

Phil quickly jerked his hand off Tommy's shoulder and stepped back. "Dude, you got a vagina?"

"No, but I got a urethra." Tommy shrugged. "But, not really."

"You **don't **have a urethra?" Phil asked stepping back again.

"No, retard!" Tommy shouted. "I don't have gonorrhea! I just don't want to be the best man."

"Hey Phil!" Z ran in.

"Oh, my gonorrhea!" Tommy yelled, grabbed his stomach, and ran into the bathroom.

"Um, okay." Z said oddly. "Um, Phil, I'm glad I caught you. Chuckie's been in a car wreck, Tommy has a disease, can you be my best man?"

"No." Phil shook his head as he took a bite of an apple that was laying on the kitchen table.

Tommy then came out and glared at Phil. "Phil, that apple is, like, three years old."

"Three years?" Phil chuckled then realized the apple tasted very bad. "Crap." Phil threw the apple on the ground and yelled, "Why the hell do you have a bad apple on the kitchen table?"

"I dunno." Tommy shrugged innocently.

"Phil!" Z yelled. "Why won't you be my best man?"

"Oh fine." Phil sighed. "I'll do it. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Yeah, it's not like you're an irresponsible jerk who'd lose the ring. Ha ha!" Z chuckled. "Or sleep with a bride's maid! Ha ha ha!"

"Heh heh." Phil nodded.

"So, Tommy, how's the pain with the gonorrhea?" Z asked Tommy.

"On again, off again." Tommy shrugged. Phil snorted as he almost laughed at Tommy's reply. Tommy turned to glare at him and Z looked at him odd and shrugged.

* * *

"Thanks guys for coming." Susie smiled at all of her friends who had come to dinner with her, except Tommy and Chuckie, so it was only Phil, Lil, May, Angelica, Kimi, and Z. 

"Why didn't Tommy and Chuckie come?" May asked.

"Tommy has gonorrhea and Chuckie has a broken arm." Z said.

Phil and Lil both caught themselves before they laughed at Z's reply. Z looked at them odd then followed the others into the fancy restaraunt.

"So, Suse, first album, eh?" Phil asked Susie as they all sat down at a table.

"Yeah." Susie nodded. "I mean, I've performed at many concerts and junk like that. But, tomorrow, Susie Sings the Blues, CD, will be on the shelves for the public."

"Why is it called, 'Susie Sings the Blues?'" Lil asked.

"Catchy, I thought." Susie shrugged.

The waiter then walked up to them and asked, "What will you be having for your drinks?"

"Wine!" Susie yelled. "For all of you!"

"No thanks, Susie." May shook her head. "I don't drink alchohol. Water will be fine for me."

"Okay." the waiter replied and walked away.

"You know," Susie said, "Not only can we celebrate me tonight, but tonight let us celebrate Kimi and Z's wedding."

"Next week." Kimi smiled.

"You know, I always thought Chuckie would be the first to get married." Angelica said.

"Yeah, but instead, Tommy married that slut first." Lil rolled her eyes.

"You know what else we can celebrate?" May asked. "Phil's promotion."

"What?" Phil turned to her.

"You got promoted?" Lil asked her brother.

"Uh, not exactly." Phil said. "I actually got fired."

"You told me promoted." May glared at her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry if you heard promoted, but I clearly said fired." Phil smirked.

The waiter then brought them their drinks and asked, "Are you ready to order?"

* * *

Tommy and Chuckie began laughing hysterically at the TV. They were watching 'Kids Say the Darndest Things'. They were sitting in Tommy's apartment, on the couch. Light out, popcorn in hand, and the TV on. 

"Man," Tommy smiled as he stopped laughing. "Those kids."

"Yep." Chuckie nodded. "They really do say the darndest things."

"Want a another beer?" Tommy asked standing up.

"Sure." Chuckie nodded.

Tommy grabbed two beers from the fridge. He gave one to Chuckie and kept one. They both opened them and Tommy sat back down on the couch. Tommy then turned to Chuckie.

"Hey Chuck! How's the broken arm?" he asked about to burst out laughing.

"Good. How's the gonnorhea?" Chuckie asked.

The two stared at eachother for a second then burst out laughing. Just then, they heard the door handle rattling like someone was trying ot get in.

"Hurry Chuck!" Tommy shouted quietly. "Get the cast on! I'll get to the bathroom!"

"Guys!" they heard Dil's voice. "It's Dil! Let me in!"

"Oh, it's just Dil." Chuckie sighed as Tommy opened the door for his brother.

"Why was the door locked?" Dil asked. "Hey. Aren't you supposed to have gonnorhea? And Chuckie, aren't you supposed to be in a cast?"

"Yep." Chuckie nodded taking a big gulp of his beer.

"Wait." Dil said. "You're not sick are you?" he pointed to Tommy.

"Negatory." Tommy grinned.

"And you wasn't in a car wreck, was you?" Dil pointed to Chuckie. Chuckie smiled and shook his head. "Cool." Dil smiled. "Can I play?"

"Play?" Tommy asked. "We're not playing, Dil."

"So?" Dil shrugged. "Come on, let me do it too."

"Well, what's gonna be wrong with you, Dil?" Tommy asked sarcastically. "Aliens probed ya?"

"Fine." Dil grunted. "I won't have fun with you guys. But, the wedding's in four days so get ready!"

* * *

It was the morning of the wedding day. Lil was doing Kimi's hair in her apartment. Angelica and Susie were also there. 

"Thanks for doing my hair, Lil." Kimi smiled.

"Not a problem." Lil smiled back. "I am the maid of honor." Lil said glancing over to Angelica and Susie who seemed jealous.

"Hey, where's the guys?" Angelica asked.

"I think they took Z to the church to get ready." Susie answered.

* * *

"Sure was convienent that you guys got better on this very day." Z said to Tommy and Chuckie. They smiled nervously and nodded. 

The guys,(Z, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Dil), were at the diner, all with beers in their hands.

"I didn't know you served beer, Doug." Dil said to Doug.

"Only on special ocations." Doug replied. "By the way, thanks for inviting me to the wedding." he said sarcastically to Z then walked off.

"Oops." Z grinned nervously. "Um, anyway, we need to go. Let's get ready for my wedding!"

* * *

Later... 

Just a few hours to go. Lil, Angelica, and Susie were in Kimi's dressing room at the church looking at her in her dress.

"Kimi." Lil shook her head. "You're almost too beautiful."

"Thanks." Kimi smiled.

"Not more beautiful than me but you know. Still pretty darn beautiful." Lil nodded.

Kimi looked at her odd, not knowing what to say so she said, "Uhh, thanks, I guess."

"Guys," Angelica said, "I'll be right back."

Angelica walked out and headed towards the bathroom. When she opened the door, she shrieked to see Z making out with a girl. "Ah!" she screamed.

"Angelica?" Z quit kissing the girl, who blushed and ran out. "Um."

"You bastard." Angelica glared at him. "How could you?"

"Let's just keep this to ourselves, shall we?" Z smiled and walked out but Angelica grabbed the back of his shirt and drug him back in. She closed and locked the door. "Heh heh, whatcha doin, Ange?"

"Only my friends can call me Ange." Angelica said. "Unless you had a good reason for kissing that girl, I will literally kill you."

"No you won't." Z smiled nervously.

"Wanna bet?" Angelica asked looking him in the eye.

"Uhh, no."

"Why did you kiss that girl. Aren't you in love with Kimi?"

"Yes I'm in love with Kimi."

"Then why were you-"

"I don't know! I just-hell, I just can't comitt."

"What are you saying exactly, Z?"

"When you tell her for me, make it sound good on me. Please." Z sighed and walked out the door. Angelica watched him leave and took a deep breath.

She walked back into the dressing room. All the girls were still in there.

* * *

"Yo, Phil!" Chuckie, who was wearinga very nice tuxedo, ran up to Phil who was smoking a cigarette in the hall, who also just had jeans and a t-shirt on. "Phil, you don't smoke." 

"I'm just really stressed." Phil sighed putting the cigarette out on an ash tray next to him.

"And why aren't you dressed?"

"What? You gotta dress up for these kind of things?"

"You dressed up for Tommy's wedding."

"Oh yeah." Phil nodded. "Chuckie, I don't know if I can do this. I think I'm just gonna go home."

"Why can't you do this?"

"Just can't."

"You're still in love with her, aren't you?"

"Yes." Phil sighed sitting down on the floor. Chuckie smiled and sat down next to his friend.

"Phil," Chuckie started but then saw Z running down the hall. He completely passed the two, ignoring them. "Where's he going? Z!"

"Chuckie?" Z turned around. "Uh, gotta go!"

"No wait!" Chuckie shouted but Z kept going. "What's he doing?"

"Maybe running from the wedding?" Phil suggested.

Suddenly, Chuckie and Phil heard Kimi crying. They ran to her room and ran in. Kimi was sobbing with the girls next to her.

"What's wrong?" Chuckie asked.

"Z ran out on Kimi." Angelica sighed.

"I hate him!" Kimi yelled. "And I'm changing out of this stupid dress!" she said and walked into the bathroom to change.

"What happened?" Phil asked.

"I caught Z making out with another girl in the bathroom." Angelica said. "Then he said he was leaving and for me to tell her."

* * *

"Kimi?" Chuckie knocked on the bathroom door. "You've been in there for six hours. Are you coming out?" 

"No!" she shouted back.

Chuckie sighed and sat down with Phil, Lil, Angelica, and Susie.

"Wassup?" Tommy ran in and cheered.

The others turned to him and glared.

"What?" he shrugged innocently. "What's going on?"

"Where have you been the last six hours?" Lil asked angrily. "Aiding to your gonnorhea?"

"Did you not have gonnorhea?" Angelica asked.

"Uhh." Tommy looked at them nervously. "Chuckie was never in a car wreck!"

"Hey!" Chuckie jumped up. "You jerk!"

"Neither of you guys were disabled from being best man?" Susie asked.

"No." Chuckie shook his head as Tommy nodded.

Kimi then walked out, her make-up smeared across her face, tears still coming out slowly, and was now wearing jeans and a sweat shirt.

"What?" Tommy looked at her and then chuckled. "No wedding?"

Kimi looked at him and burst into tears again, running back into the bathroom, locking it. The others turned to him and glared at him.

"What'd I do?" he asked.

* * *

Four more hours later... 

"How long have when been in here?" Phil asked with a pillow over his face.

"Ten hours." Chuckie looked at his watch. "It's midnight."

"Hey." Tommy said, "Where's Dil?"

* * *

"And do you take Jonathon Hale as your husband?" 

"I do."

Dil's eyes were wide open as he stood behind the best man at someone's wedding. "I think I'm at the wrong wedding."

* * *

"Kimi?" Chuckie knocked on the bathroom door again. "You okay?" 

"Go away." he heard.

Chuckie sighed and went back to the rest and sat down. At that moment, Dil rushed in.

"Where have you been?" Lil asked.

"Wrong freakin' wedding." Dil sighed sitting down on the floor. "One of those midnight weddings. They started doing it before he actually declared them husband and wife."

"Cool." Phil grinned.

"Hey, did I miss it?" Dil asked.

"Z ran out on Kimi." Angelica said. "She's been in there for ten hours straight."

"Except that small minute where Tommy made her even more miserable." Lil glared at Tommy again who just shrugged.

Kimi walked out, took a second to glare at Tommy, then sat down next to Chuckie. "I wanna go home." she mumbled.

"Okay." Chuckie nodded. "Let's go."

They walked out and outside to the cars. "Ah crap." Chuckie said. "Could someone run back inside and grab my cell phone?"

"Sure." Lil smiled running back in.

"When did you get a cell phone?" Phil asked.

"I'm a business man, Phil."

"You're a dentist, dude." Phil chuckled making Chuckie glare at him.

* * *

Lil walked into the dressing room and saw the wedding dress on a chair. She looked around and saw no one around so she shrugged, grabbed it, and ran into the bathroom.

* * *

"Where is she?" Chuckie asked. "Someone go get her!" 

"Fine." Tommy rolled his eyes and walked in.

* * *

Tommy walked into the dressing room and his eyes widened to see Lil looking at herself in the mirror, wearing Kimi's wedding dress. She didn't see him at first and said to no one impaticular, "God, I'm beautiful." 

"Got that right." Tommy chuckled slamming the door to get her attention.

She swung around and sighed of relief. "Oh, you scared me."

"What are you doing wearing Kimi's wedding dress?" Tommy asked picking up Chuckie's phone off a desk next to the couch in the room.

"Well, she ain't gonna use it." Lil rolled her eyes. "Besides, I don't plan on getting married."

"Why?" Tommy asked, almost concerned.

"I dunno." she shrugged. "Just really never planned on it."

"Are you a virgin?" Tommy looked at her odd.

"No." Lil replied angrily. "Infact, I had sex recently."

"When?"

"This morning."

"Really?"

"Really." Lil nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must change."

"Wait." Tommy stopped her and examined her. "You look pretty good in a wedding dress." he scratched his chin.

Lil smiled and nodded, "I know."

* * *

"Son of a-" Chuckie sighed. "Someone go find them!" 

"Geeze." Angelica rolled her eyes and walked into the building.

* * *

Angelica swung the door opened and gasped to see Tommy and Lil making out, and Lil wearing the wedding dress. 

They immediately stopped and turned to her. "It's not what it looks like!" Lil shouted.

"It's not?" Tommy asked her.

"Dammit!" Angelica screamed. "Why am I always the one caughtfinding anawkward make out?"

* * *

"Hello Phil." Phil walked into his apartment to see May on his couch watching TV. 

"Hey." Phil said. "Why weren't you at the wedding?"

"Didn't feel like going." she shrugged. "Oh, I gotta get to work."

"What?" Phil looked at his watch. "It's midnight."

* * *

Tommy walked into his apartment and gasped to see Laura making out with some guy. 

"Who the hell are you?" Tommy shouted picking up a lamp.

"Tommy?" Laura asked. "Um, uh, uh,-"

"Who's this joker?" the guy asked.

"Oh, you gone a done it now." Tommy said jerking the cord loose from the lamp. He ran over to the guy and hit him on the head with it, knocking him out.

"Tommy!" Laura shouted as the door swung open. Phil ran in, closed the door and locked it.

"Phil." Tommy turned to his friend and glared at him. "Do you mind?"

"Yes." Phil nodded looking through the peep hole. "That crazy retard, May, she's a hooker. A gay hooker."

"What?" Tommy and Laura asked him in unison.

Phil then looked at the knocked out guy on the floor. "Whoa."

* * *

Chuckie walked into his apartment and turned on the lights. He sighed sitting down on the couch. He then rolled his eyes once he heard a knock at his door. 

He sighed and opened it. Samantha was standing there holding a kid about two years old. "He's your's." she grinned.

Chuckie's eyes were wide open and he just fell back and fainted.

* * *

Lil was sitting at a chair. Tommy was on the other side of her but glass seperated the two. They even had to use phones to talk to eachother and Tommy was in a prison outfit. 

"Well, they said that Brad agreed to just give me one month for assualt." Tommy rolled his eyes.

"So I suppose you didn't kill him?" Lil asked.

"Nope." Tommy said. "Luckily for me, Laura came by this morning with files of divorce and it was taken care of."

"Good." Lil nodded.

"Hey," Tommy grinned. "Last night was pretty good, eh?"

"Oh yeah." Lil nodded. "Until the police knocked my bedroom door down and tazered you."

"I guess being a coastguard pays off on knowing alot of cops." Tommy shrugged.

"Anyway," Lil said, "Once you get out, we'll have more nights like that."

"Yep." Tommy nodded. "If these freaks in here don't rape me first."

"Tommy," Lil started twisting the cord of the phone and talked innocently. "Do you like kids?"

"Uh, sure." Tommy nodded. "Why?"

"I'm pregnant." she mumbled.

Tommy's eyes and mouth were wide open. Without a word, he hung up the phone walked over to the guard, let the guard handcuff him then was escorted back into his cell.

Lil watched him go out the door and sighed, "Maybe he'll lighten up about it."

* * *

Bakc in reality, real time, whatever you wanna call it. 

Tommy just shrugged as he took a drink of coffee. "Ah, the outcomes of everything would probably just be the same."

"Yeah." Lil nodded.

"Probably." Chuckie agreed.

"Uh huh." Angelica nodded.

"What do you guys wanna do?" Phil asked.

"Wanna catch a movie?" Susie suggested.

"Sure." Kimi nodded.

They wall walked out leaving Doug inside by himself. "I wonder what would have happened if Lil and I had stayed together." he pondered as he smiled then his smile turned to a frown. "Nah. Lil seems to have a habit for getting knocked up."


	25. Drink Your Feelings

Chapter 25

"Eat." Tommy ordered. He had a spoon of baby food and held it to Mikey's face who was sitting in a high chair in Tommy's apartment. "Eat it."

"I will." Phil walked in. "What are we having?"

"Baby food." Tommy said holding the spoon to Phil's face.

"Great!" Phil smiled immediately eating the food in the spoon. "Wait. What flavor?"

"Apple."

"Apple?" Phil asked. "Yuck!"

"You don't like apple?" Tommy asked oddly. "Freak."

"What? Because I don't like apple sauce? Or apple juice? Or apple medicine?"

"Well, I understand the medicine, but you don't like apple sauce or apple juice?" Tommy yelled. As Mikey looked at him oddly.

"What?" Phil turned to Mikey. "What are you lookin' at?"

Mikey rolled his eyes and turned away. Tommy and Phil looked at him odd then Tommy said, "Anyway...you don't like any of that?"

"No." Phil shook his head.

"Holy crap." Tommy shook his head. "You freak. You are a bad influence to my child."

"I don't get the big deal!"

"Okay, Phil." Tommy forced Phil to sit down on a kitcken chair and Tommy sat next to him. "Not everyone likes apples. It's not wrong to not like apples. But everyone loves apple flavored sauce, juice, and other novelty foods!"

"Not me." Philstood up. "Later." Phil then left and Tommy sighed shaking his head.

* * *

"Zippity doo da, zippity day!" Lil sang while gong through files on her desk. "My, oh my, what a wonderful day!" 

"Yes it is!" Daniel poked his head in.

"Daniel!" Lil stood up dusting her skirt off.

"Lillian Pickles, I have good news for you." Daniel smiled .

"What?"

"You're getting a promotion." Daniel smiled.

"Really?" Lil shouted. "Screw being fired! This is great!"

"Yes. Yes it is." Daniel nodded. "For the both of us."

"How so?"

"Well, you get a job." Daniel nodded. "I lose one."

"What?"

"You're taking over Fasion 'N' Love companies." Daniel grinned. "Now that blasted wife of mine will quit bugging me." he rolled his eyes then began mocking his wife. "Sell that worthless job. Make some money! Get a life! Quit acting gay! Quit hitting on the girls at Hooter's!"

"I don't understand." Lil rubbed her forehead.

"Lillian." Daniel put his hands on her shoulders. "You own this worldwide company. Have fun with it. I expect you'll be moving into my office. My stuff is already cleaned out so good luck with it!"

"What if I need you?" Lil asked. "You know. For some questions or something."

"I'll be in Malibu." Daniel smiled putting sunglasses on then leaving.

"Holy freakin' crap." Lil laughed. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Those years of ass kissing and begging to be fired payed off!"

* * *

"Dude." Phil tapped Chuckie on the shoulder at the seat of the bar at Doug's Diner. 

"What?" Chuckie turned to him.

"Check it out." Phil pointed to a guy sitting at a table on the other side of the diner talking to some other men. "Jeff Goldblum."

Chuckie turned to Phil and shook his head. "Phil." he said and Phil turned to him. "That's not Jeff Goldblum."

"Sure it is." Phil smiled pointing to the guy again.

"No it's not." Chuckie shook his head. "Infact, I know that guy."

"Seriously?" Phil asked.

"Yeah." Chuckie nodded. "Well, I recognize him, but I can't put my finger on it."

"Hey!" Phil turned to his friend. "I recognize him too."

"It's not Jeff Goldblum!" Chuckie shouted.

"No!" Phil said. "It's Cody."

"Who's Cody?"

"Remember?" Phil asked. "The Thanksgiving party? Sam's boyfriend. Wouldn't take care of Frederick?" Phil then gasped. "Where is Frederick?"

"Don't worry," Chuckie said, "Sam picked him up earlier."

"Don't you remember Cody?"

"Wait a sec." Chuckie nodded. "Yeah. Yes I do. Cody's the guy that Sam brought to the Thanksgiving party. Her boyfriend. The jerk who wouldn't take care of Frederick."

"Um, yeah." Phil nodded. "I kinda just said that."

"Sure, sure." Chuckie said looking at the guy. "I'm gonna go talk to him."

"No!" Phil tried to stop him but Chuckie walked over to the guy anyway.

"Hey buddy!" Chuckie tapped Cody on the shoulder. Cody turned from his two friends and they all three glared at him.

"What?" Cody snapped.

"So, you're too good for my son, eh?" Chuckie asked angrily as Phil came up behind them.

"Dude," one of Cody's friends said. "Are you dating this guy's son or something?"

"No!" Cody yelled. "Dude, what do you want?"

"Buddy, listen." Chuckie sat down next to him.

"Son of a bitch!" Cody yelled. "Dude, what do you want?"

"Dammit!" Chuckie shouted holding his head. "If I hear dude one more time,I'll-"

Phil then leaned in and whispered to Chuckie, "Dude, I gotta pee. Hurry this up."

Chuckie turned and glared at Phil then went back to Cody. "I'm Chuckie Finster."

"Oh crap." Cody's eyes widened.

"Don't like my son?" Chuckie asked.

"Sorry, dude, it's just, I'm not a kids person." Cody shrugged innocently. "Nothing personal nor did I mean to hurt anyone. Especially Sam."

"It's okay, I guess." Chuckie grinned.

"Thanks." Cody shook Chuckie's hand. Chuckie stood up and him and Phil began to walk off but Cody mumbled, "Jackass."

"That's it!" Chuckie heard him and ran back to the seat and sat down. "What is your problem with my family?"

"What are you talking about, dude?" Cody leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms, and shook his head.

"You don't like me! You don't like my son! You don't appear to like anything that has to do with me!" Chuckie yelled.

"We're gonna be here a while." Phil rolled his eyes walking towards the bathroom.

* * *

"Thomas!" Lil swung the door of her and Tommy's apartment open and ran in. "There you are!" she yelled with a big smile on her face. 

"I'm Kimi." Kimi, who was on the couch, looked at her odd.

"I know, Kimi." Lil smiled.

"Holy crap, Lil." Kimi stood up and smelled Lil's breath. "You're drunk."

"Nooo." Lil shook her head. She then looked around and leaned in towards Kimi and whispered, "Okay, maybe I'm a little drunk!"

"Yeah!" Kimi said waving her hand in front of Lil's mouth. "But, why are you drunk?"

"You know something, Kimi." Lil sat down at the kitchen table. "I'll tell you. Sit!" Lil shouted as Kimi sat down.

"Okay, why?"

"Well, my boss quits and gives me his job." Lil hiccuped.

"Wait a sec." Kimi grinned. "You own Fashion 'N' Love?"

"Oh yeah."

"My favorite fasion company?"

"Oh yeah."

"And you can get me discounts?"

"Hell, Kimi, I can get you free crap!" Lil cheered.

"Free?" Kimi asked. "I like free stuff."

"Hey, Kim," Lil leaned in and whispered to Kimi. "Me too." she then began laughing. Kimi looked at her odd as Lil began laughing uncontrollably then stopped to catch her breath.

"You okay, Lil?" Kimi asked concerned.

"Hell yeah." Lil nodded. "Hey, you got any vodka at your place?"

"Lil, I live here." Kimi said.

"So?" Lil chuckled. "Got any?"

Kimi stared at her then shrugged. She walked over to the fridge and opened it. She closed it and opened a cabinet above the fridge. "What do ya know." Kimi smiled pulling a bottle of vodka from the cabinet. "We do."

* * *

"What is it you don't like about them?" Chuckie asked. Him and Cody were in a tense conversation. Cody's friends had left and Phil was sitting in a seat at the same table with his head hanging off to the side, asleep. 

"Well," Cody said. "They drool. They cry. They poop."

"So did you!" Chuckie yelled.

"When I was a baby!" Cody yelled back. "I'd say the biggest reason is because when I was a kid, my parents didn't like me much."

"Really?" Chuckie asked. Cody nodded sighing. Chuckie gave him a grin of feeling sorry for him then blurted out, "Ah, that's no excuse!"

* * *

Angelica put a plate of food on a table and head back to the kitchen but stopped when she saw Lil and Kimi walk into the restaraunt. She rolled her eyes and walked over to them. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Angelica asked.

"I can't take care of her anymore." Kimi sighed. "She's drunk. She's too hard to take care of."

"She is a handful when she's drunk." Angelica nodded. "Sometimes she's mean."

"Don't you talk about my man, bitch." Lil said to a waiter who walked by them.

"Please, Ange, watch her." Kimi grinned.

"No." Angelica shook her head. "I have a job. I have money. I have a life. You take the day to take care of the drunken fashion designer."

"You mean," Lil said, "Fasion boss."

"Fasion what?" Angelica asked.

"Wait, that's not right." Lil rubbed her head. "Oh. I now own Fasion 'N' Love companies."

"Tch." Angelica rolled her eyes. "Yeah right."

"No." Kimi smiled. "I called and checked in on this. She really owns it!"

"Holy freakin' crap!" Angelica shouted. "Are you freakin' serious?"

"Oh freakin' yeah." Kimi nodded.

"Yes, freakin', yes!" Angelica shouted. "Hey jerk-wad!" Angelica shouted into the kitchen. "I freakin' quit!"

"Sure!" someone from inside the kitchen yelled.

* * *

Lil, Kimi, and Angelica were in Lil's apartment. They had glasses of wine and were all at the kitchen table. 

"To us." Lil smiled.

"Yes." Angelica nodded. "The girls. The best creature ever put on this freakin' Earth."

"Got that right, sister." Kimi smiled taking a drink of wine.

"Why are we drinking wine and celebrating?" Angelica asked.

"Because Lil can get us free clothes." Kimi explained.

"Oh yeah." Angelica smiled. "That's a good reason."

"Very good." Lil nodded. "Hey, shouldn't we get Susie?"

"She won't drink alchohol." Angelica rolled her eyes. "One of those vegetarian things."

"She's not a vegetarian. Nor is not drinking alchohol one of its consequences." Lil said.

"I don't know." Angelica shrugged. "It's something like that. Maybe it has something to do with Good Will. Hell, I don't know."

"Ya know a movie you don't see on TV much anymore?" Lil asked.

"What?" Kimi and Angelica both replied.

"Top Gun." Lil nodded.

"That is a good movie." Kimi nodded. "And Tom Cruise, oh yeah."

"You know a movie he's in that I loved?" Angelica asked. "Risky Business."

"Excellent movie!" Lil smiled.

"Oh! Oh! Days of Thunder!" Kimi yelled.

"Yes!" Lil yelled in agreement. "Oh! Deep Impact!"

"Uh, Lil." Kimi said. "Tom Cruise isn't in that."

"So?" Lil asked taking another drink of wine. "Good movie." she shrugged.

* * *

"No, the crying doesn't bother me." Chuckie shook his head. He and Cody now had cigarettes in their hands, Phil was still asleep, and no one was there except them and Doug. "But, Frederick doesn't do much crying." 

"I really don't think the crying bothers me much either." Cody said taking a puff of his cigarette. "I honestly don't know what it is that I don't like."

"Hm." Chuckie leaned back in his chair and thought. He then said, "Is it the poop?"

"No." Cody shook his head. "You know, I think it's the commitment. A child is alot of hard work."

"I hear that." Chuckie chuckled.

* * *

Tommy walked into his apartment and looked oddly at Lil spread out on the couch, Angelica leaning upside down against the wall, and Kimi in a chair asleep. "Okaaay." he looked at them as he closed the door. 

"Where have you been?" Lil got up off the couch and slapped Tommy.

"Lil?" he asked rubbing the red mark on his face. "That hurt."

"Did you like it?" she asked.

"W-What?" Tommy slowly began to back up. "W-Where's Mikey?"

"In Kimi's room." Lil said walking towards Tommy. "But why don't you and I go into our room."

"Why?" Tommy looked at her oddly. "Oh crap. Lil, I'm not into S&M."

"Nor I." Lil smiled. "But I am into sex."

Tommy looked at her for a second then nodded. "Me too." he smiled and the two ran into their bedroom.

"Kimi!" Angelica yelled as Kimi woke up.

"What?" she asked yawning. "Damn, I have the most horrible hang over."

"Me too." Angelica said. "Lil's still drunk though."

"Gosh," Kimi rubbed her head. "Lil drank her feelings apperantly."

"That girl can drink and drink and drink!" Angelica chuckled. "She's quite the wild girl."

"Yeah." Kimi nodded. "Ugh. Where'd she go?"

"She's screwing Tommy." Angelica nodded.

"I see." Kimi rubbed her head again. "Okay, I'm going to bed."

"Me too." Angelica walked out and Kimi walked into her bed room.

* * *

"Thanks Chuck." Cody shook his hand as they both stood. 

"Not a problem, my friend." Chuckie smiled.

"Maybe I should spend some time with Frederick." Cody nodded. "I'll be his second dad."

"No no no." Chuckie shook his head. "You're the step dad. I'm the dad."

"So what do I do?"

"Um," Chuckie pondered. "Be the dad when I'm not around I guess."

"Come on, guys." Doug said. "Closing time was ten minutes ago."

Chuckie, Cody, and Doug walked out and Doug locked the door and they all three disappeared into the night.

Phil then jumped up from his snooze in the chair. "Chuckie?" he called out. "Cody? Doug?" He the began to look around and walked over to the door. He tried to open it but it was locked. "Oh crap."


	26. Emotional

Chapter 26

"I want that!" Kimi pointed to a shirt ona rack. "And that! And that! And that! Oh, and that!"

"Double that order." Angelica smiled.

"Triple." Susie smiled.

"Not a problem." Lil smiled. "That'll be four hundred dollars from each of you."

"Uh." Kimi looked at her odd. "I thought we were getting free stuff."

"You can have free stuff." Lil smiled. "But not stuff that costs four hundred dollars. I'm not giving you all twelve hundred dollars, total,woth of clothes for free. But you can have this cap." Lil showed them a cap with the Nazi sign on it.

"Uhhh." Kimi, Angelica, and Susie looked at it and shook their heads.

"Sorry guys." Lil frowned. "It's just, I'm an important business woman now. I can't waste money. I'm rich now."

"Now you're gonna act like Angelica?" Kimi asked.

"Hey." Angelica glared at Kimi.

"Sorry." Kimi said the went back to Lil. "Lillian, you said you were going to help us by giving free stuff. And maybe a job too?"

"Are you all three unemployed?" Lil asked.

"Yes." they all three nodded.

"Seriously." Lil shook her head. "We're the girls. We're supposed to be the ones with money."

"I know." Angelica sighed. "But now you're the wealthy one."

"Fine." Lil rolled her eyes.

* * *

"Let's see." Tommy was looking ata list. "Phil, Kimi, Dil, Susie, and Angelica. That seems right." 

"Whatcha doing?" Dil walked into the diner and walked over to Tommy.

"Making a list of who all's unemployed." Tommy grinned. "It appears that Lil, Chuckie, and I are the only ones with jobs."

"Nope." Dil shook his head. "I just got a job."

"What job?"

"Intern." Dil smiled

"Intern?" Tommy looked at him odd. "You do know that's an non-paying job, right?"

"Yep." Dil nodded. "But when I become a professional doctor, you'll be sorry."

"I got a good job, Dil." Tommy said innocently.

Dil chuckled, "Yeah, playwright." He then laughed and left.

"Jerk." Tommy mumbled as Dil left and Lil walked in. "Hi." he smiled giving her a peck on the lips but she didn't seem to enjoy it.

"Not now." she said.

"Sorry." Tommy rolled his eyes.

"I'm in quite a pickle here." Lil said.

Tommy covered his mouth with his hand and chuckled. "Pickle."

"What?" Lil asked angrily. "What is it?"

"You said you're in a pickle and our last name is-" Tommy then saw Lil glaring at him. "Uh, nothing."

"Kimi, Angelica, and Susie expect me to get them free stuff now that I own the company." Lil sighed. "But I can't afford giving up twelve hundred dollars worth of clothes."

"T-Tw-Twelve hundred dollars worth of clothes?" Tommy asked stuttering.

"Yes." Lil nodded.

"Oh my God." Tommy smiled. "And that's just a little bit of what you make."

"I make about that much each day." Lil grinned.

Tommy had a big smile on his face. "Oh yeah." he nodded.

"Tommy, I made about that much a month at my last job." Lil shrugged.

"That was a month." Tommy smiled. "This is a day. We're friggin' rich!"

"Tommy," Lil chuckled, "I hate to break this to you, but most of the money has to go toward the company and the bills."

"Well, how much can I have?" Tommy asked.

"Jesus, Tommy, get a job." Lil rolled her eyes. "I don't want you at home being a house husband while I bring in the money."

"Well," Tommy started, "What do you want me to do? I'm making money. Not that much, but I am making money."

"What? Selling those plays?" Lil smirked. "That makes about, what? Five bucks a year?"

"For your information, I get about five thousand for each play I write." Tommy glared at her.

"So you've sold how many plays?" Lil asked. "Zero?"

"Four." Tommy glared at her again. "Plus, I'm trying to be a director again."

"Tommy," Lil sat down. "I know that's your dream, but so far, the only official thing you've evercreated was that soap, and that never did too well. Trevor made it even worse."

"Lil, what is your problem?" Tommy stood up.

"Nothing."

"Why can't you except that I'm trying. I'm making money, Lillian. I am doing my share of work in this family."

"I know."

"Apperantly, you don't, Lil!" Tommy shouted storming out of the diner and Lil watched him go. Doug then walked up to Lil.

"Problems?" he asked setting a cup of coffee next to her.

"What?" she was startled by him. "Oh, Doug. Hi."

"What's Tommy's deal?" Doug asked as if he was concerned.

"Um, I don't know." she shook her head. "I started it. I made him feel bad because I said he has a dead-end job and doesn't make money."

Doug then moved closer to Lil and whispered, "I make money."

Lil got up and moved away from him. "Okaay." she then left.

* * *

"Angelica." Angelica said to Mikey's face. "Say it. Say Angelica. Angelica!" 

Lil then walked into Angelica's apartment. "Hi."

"Hey." Angelica smiled as Lil picked Mikey up. "I've been trying to teach him to talk."

"What words?"

"Angelica." she replied.

"Oh." Lil looked at her odd. "Okay, I'm going to go."

"Hold it." Angelica slammed the door and forced Lil to sit on the couch. Angelica picked Mikey up and put him on the floor next to a teddy bear which he began to play with. She then sat down next to Lil. "What did that bastard of a husband do to you?"

"N-Nothing." Lil shrugged.

"Don't play dumb with me." Angelica glared at her. "I am Angelica C. Pickles."

Lil frowned and said, "I hurt Tommy's feelings. It's my fault."

"Sure, sure." Angelica crossed her arms.

"I told him that he doesn't bring any money home and that he is just the house husband." Lil sighed.

"Well he is." Angelica chuckled. "He's got no job worth having. He takes care of Mikey all day."

"Angelica," Lil glared at her.

"What?" Angelica shrugged. "I'm sorry, Lil. But-"

"No buts." Lil shook her head. "None of this is his fault." Lil said then left. A moment later, she ran back in and grabbed Mikey.

"You really suck at this." Angelica chuckled.

"Tell me about it." Lil nodded walking out with Mikey in her hands now.

* * *

"Now, Dylan," a doctor said as he operated on a cut open guy. "You wanna be sure not to touch that." 

"Check." Dil nodded closely observing the doctors operate. "What about that thing?"

"That's the heart, son." the doctor said. "Don't touch that unless you're operating on it."

"What exactly are you operating on?" Dil asked.

"Dylan, have you not been paying attention at all?" the doctor asked.

"No." Dil shook his head.

* * *

Lil slowly walked into their apartment and sat Mikey in his play pen. She looked around to find Tommy then noticed the bathroom door closed. She heard it flush and Tommy walked out and stared at her. 

"Tommy," she said, "Are you mad?"

"Does a bear shit in the woods?" Tommy snapped walking towards the door.

"Tommy!" Lil yelled. Tommy swung around and Lil began to cry. "I am so sorry."

"Lil, I-"

"Tommy I didn't mean anything." Lil said. "I just wanted to let you know that the money I make isn't for you to spend on, uh, novelties."

"No, I'm sorry Lil." Tommy walked over to her and smiled. "I over-no! I didn't over react!"

"Tommy." Lil sighed and crossed her arms, the crying stopping immediately.

"You called me a house husband!"

"Tommy."

"Don't make money? I make alot!"

"Tommy."

"So you want me to get a job? I got one, sister!"

"Tommy!"

"Yes?"

"Enough." Lil smiled.

"Sorry." Tommy grinned. "Just trying to make a scene." Tommy then walked over to Lil and passionately kissed her. Lil broke the kiss looking to the side and saw Mikey staring at them.

"Tommy." she chucked. Tommy turned and looked at Mikey and smiled.

"Come on, bud." Tommy walked over to Mikey and picked him up. "I got something for ya."

"What?" Lil asked.

"For Mikey." Tommy said. "Not you." Tommy laughed and walked into their room and Lil followed. Tommy sat him on the bed then began to dig in his closet and soon pulled out a plastic screwdriver.

"You're giving him your screwdriver?" Lil asked. "That's so sweet, T."

Tommy smiled and gave the screwdriver to Mikey. "It's your's now, Mike."

* * *

The next morning...

"Hey." Chuckie, holding Frederick,walked into Tommy's apartment to see him reading the newspaper.

"Hey." Tommy turned from the paper. "What's up?"

"So you and Lil made up?" Chuckie asked putting Frederick in the playpen with Mikey.

"Yeah." Tommy nodded.

"Hey can you watch Frederick for a while?" Chuckie asked.

"Sure." Tommy nodded. "Why?"

"My regular baby sitter isn't available while I gotta go to work." Chuckie said.

"Who is your regular baby sitter?"

"Actually," Chuckie said, "I have several. This woman named Tonya something. Tonya, uh, I don't know. Tonya. Um, Angelica, Susie, and Kimi."

"So all the girls?" Tommy asked. "Except Lil. Why not Lil? What's your problem with Lil?"

"Nothing." Chuckie shrugged. "But she has a child too so I figured she has her hands full."

"Oh yeah." Tommy nodded. "Okay. I'll watch him."

"Thanks T." Chuckie smiled. "I'll be back as soon as I can." Chuckie then left.

"Okay guys, I'm gonna go pee then we'll have some fun." Tommy smiled to Mikey and Frederick who just stared at him. "You can't understand me." he sighed and walked towards the bathroom.

A few minutes later, he walked out. "Woa. That was like a fountain." he chuckled then gasped. The playpen was open and both kids were gone. "Ah crap. I knew I shouldn't have given him that screwdriver."


	27. The Perfect Way To Make Up

Once again, a year or two has passed in the story so here are the new ages:

Tommy, Phil, Lil, Kimi-29  
Dil-28  
Chuckie-30  
Angelica, Susie-31  
Mikey-about 1  
Frederick-about 2 or 3

Chapter 27

"I love summer." Tommy smiled. He, Chuckie, Phil, and Dil were on the roof of the apartment building in lawn chairs with sunglasses on.

"Me too." Chuckie sighed. "Guys' day off."

"You know the girls are plotting something, right?" Dil asked.

"Duh." Phil rolled his eyes. "The only reason they let us do nothing today is because they're either planning a birthday, a divorce," he looked at Tommy, "an engagment, or just to get away from us."

"Divorce?" Tommy asked nervously. "I'm the only married one. You don't think they're planning a divorce, do you?"

"Nah." Chuckie said. "Since those girls have to hang out with us everyday, I'd say they need a break from us."

"How could they not want to hang with us?" Tommy asked. "And Lil. She's my wife. How could my own wife not wanna hang out with me? Me?"

"Don't worry T." Phil calmed his friend. "It'll be fine. You could use a break from her too."

"It's actually pretty obvious that they're just trying to get away from us." Chuckie said. "Kimi insisted on taking Frederick to a baby sitter and Lil did the same."

"So guy's night out?" Phil asked raising up.

"Um," Dil looked at his watch. "It's noon."

"So guy's day out?" Phil asked again.

"Yes!" Tommy shouted. "Let's make the most of this!"

* * *

"Another margarita, Lillian?" Kimi asked. 

"Of course." Lil smiled as Kimi poured more margarita in her glass. Lil, Kimi, Susie, and Angelica were at Angelica's apartment. "The guys will never think of finding us here."

"Yeah." Angelica nodded. "No one ever comes to my apartment."

"So, what do you girls wanna do?" Susie asked.

"I made a schedule." Lil smiled looking at a piece of paper. "First, we drink til noon."

"Check." Angelica smiled taking the last drink of her glass.

"Then we improvise." Lil smiled throwing the list over her shoulder.

"Sounds pretty good." Susie nodded.

* * *

Tommy, Phil, Chuckie, and Dil were now in Doug's Diner with beers in their hands. 

"And she says," Tommy mocked, "Clean that up!"

They all burst out laughing and guests in the diner got aggrevated with them and left until no one was in the diner except them.

"You jerks!" Doug came up to them. "You ran out the whole place. I knew serving you beers was a bad idea."

"No it wasn't." Dil shook his head. "Hey, you guys wanna go to a strip joint?"

"Nah, too hard gettin' there." Phil sighed. "So let's order one!"

"Okay!" Chuckie yelled.

"Crap." Tommy shook his head. "I'm married."

"So..." Phil said. "Pretend you're not!"

"Okay!" Tommy smiled.

"Back to...uh, who's apartment?" Phil asked.

"Tommy's?" Dil suggested. "It's the biggest."

"Okay!" Tommy yelled. "Let's go!"

* * *

"Crap." Phil put the phone down in Tommy's apartment. He went and sat down next to Chuckie and Dil on the couch. Tommy was at the kitchen table. "They won't give us one." 

"Why?" Tommy asked.

"Said it has to be a special occation." Phil rolled his eyes.

"Alright, call back and say it's a bachelor party." Chuckie grinned. "We'll say it's Tommy's."

"Why mine?" Tommy asked.

"Since you're already married, it won't be such a bad lie." Chuckie shrugged.

Phil nodded and picked up the phone and redialed. "Hello? I'd like to order a stripper. Yes. The occation? Bachelor party. My buddy. Please, make it a hot one. Why you ask? Well, you should see his fiancee'."

Tommy turned and glared at Phil. "Hey."

"Nope, it's my sister. Yes, I'm calling my sister ugly. Twin sister. Well, no, if I'm calling her ugly I'm not particularly calling my self ugly. What? No! Just send a friggin' stripper!" Phil then hung up and sighed. "Idiot."

"Dude," Dil smiled. "Calling Lil ugly is kind of calling yourself ugly."

"Yeah." Tommy chuckled.

"Shut up." Phil glared at Tommy. "You married her. Anyway, we'd better call some more people to make it actually look like a bachelor party."

"No." Tommy shook his head. "Guys' night out. Us four. We'll just say that we have no friends."

* * *

"I think a bachelorette party would be great." Susie shrugged as they all walked into Doug's Diner. 

"Is there even a such thing?" Lil asked.

"Yeah." Angelica nodded.

"Why didn't I get one?" Lil asked pitifully.

"We didn't feel like it." Angelica replied.

"Well," Kimi said, "Where do you wanna have it?"

"How about my apartment?" Lil suggested.

"That sounds good." Kimi nodded.

When Doug heard this, his head raised up. "Um, Lillian."

"Yeah?" she turned to him.

"I don't think your apartment is the best place. Heh heh." Doug said.

"Why?" Lil asked a little suspicious.

"Um," Doug said, "That's where the guys are."

"We'll run'em out." Lil smiled. "It is my apartment."

"Isn't it techinically Tommy's?" Angelica asked.

"No." Lil shook her head. "Tommy's never actually had is own place. He's either lived with Chuckie or Phil or me. It's **my** apartment."

* * *

All four boys jumped up when they heard a knock at the door. 

"She's here." Phil whispered. "What do we do?"

Tommy, Chuckie, and Dil just stared at him. Tommy then spoke up, "Answer it, maybe?"

"No way, man." Phil shook his head. "It's your house."

"Fine." Tommy walked over to the door and opened it.

"Someone order a stripper?" a girl dressed as a maid in lingerie, walked in. She slammed the door and examined the boys. "Okay, I'm Jasmine."

"Hello Jasmine." they all four smiled.

"Which one of you boys is Tommy?" Jasmine asked.

"M-Me." Tommy grinned.

"Alrighty then." Jasmine pushed Tommy back on the couch and climbed into his lap and began giving him a lap dance.

"Holy freakin' shit." Phil smiled sitting the chair across from the couch watching the lap dance.

"I don't know if I should be doing this." Tommy grunted.

"Shut your mouth." Jasmine ordered slapping Tommy.

"Do it again." Dil smiled.

"What?" Tommy turned to his brother but Jasmine slapped him again. "That's starting to hurt."

Phil, Chuckie, Tommy, and Dil all turned their heads when they heard the door handle rattling. "Oh crap." Dil groaned.

"It's locked." they heard Lil say on the other side.

"Well, unlock it." they heard Angelica said.

"Crap!" Tommy threw Jasmine off standing up.

"Ouch!" Jasmine shouted.

"Hide her!" Tommy yelled to the others. Dil and Chuckie drug Jasmine to Kimi's room and closed and locked it just as the girls walked in.

"Tommy?" Lil asked. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Um..." Tommy groaned. "Nothing."

"Where's Chuckie and Dil?" Kimi asked.

"No where." Phil shrugged. "I mean...uh...they went home."

"Why?" Susie asked.

"Uhhh." Tommy shrugged. "I don't know."

In Kimi's bedroom, Dil and Chuckie had their ears to the door trying to listen but Jasmine kept rubbing her hands all over Chuckie.

"Stop." Chuckie whispered to her.

"No." she whispered back.

"Okay." he shrugged.

"I wish they'd hurry up and leave." Dil said.

Back to the others...

"Um, guys." Lil said. "Could you, I don't know, leave?"

"No." they both shook their heads casually.

"Please." Angelica smiled.

"No." they said again.

"Come on." Kimi nudged Phil then Tommy. "Leave. Just go. Leave."

"No." they once again said.

"Dammit, Tommy!" Lil shouted. "This is my house!"

"Uh." Tommy moaned nervously.

"Now get out! We have important girl business to do!" Lil yelled.

"Um," Tommy groaned. "What are you all doing?"

"Uhh." Lil looked at him nervously. "Classified."

"No, no." Tommy grinned. "You can tell me."

"No she can't." Angelica shook her head.

"Oh, no, you're not getting me like this again." Tommy smiled. "This is my house too, so tell me what you plan on doing with it."

"Well," Lil said. "What are you doing with it?"

"Um," Tommy said, "Drinking beer, watching football, crap like that."

"You can watch football at Phil's." Lil said.

"I didn't pay my cable bill." Phil shrugged. "No TV."

"How about Dil's?" Susie asked.

"No ESPN." Tommy sighed. "That poor boy."

"So, what are you guys doing with it?" Phil asked.

"Um," Angelica pondered. "Comparing breast size."

All the girls turned and glared at her but Tommy and Phil grinned. "Can't we stay?" Phil asked.

"No." Lil turned to her brother. "I don't want you seeing my breasts."

"Eww." Phil shook his head. "Not you. Them." Phil pointed to Angelica, Kimi, and Susie who glared at him. "Sorry."

"Plus, Tommy's my cousin." Angelica sighed. "That'd just be wrong."

"No way, Lil." Tommy glared at her. "For tonight, it's our's."

"It's one o'clock." Angelica looked at her watch.

"Fine." Tommy rolled his eyes. "For **today**, it's our's."

"Just you and Phil?" Kimi asked.

"No." Tommy shook his head. "Chuckie and Dil just went to their place to get some popcorn."

"We have popcorn." Lil glared.

"Well, I didn't know." Tommy rolled his eyes.

"Fine." Lil sighed as the four girls walked out.

Dil, Chuckie, and Jasmine then walked out.

"Where were we?" Tommy asked sitting back on the couch.

"I knew it!" Lil yelled as the girls ran back in. "No wait. I didn't know that." she said looking at the stripper.

"Tommy?" Kimi asked. "What is that?"

"A stripper." Dil smiled.

"Hey Angelica." Jasmine gave a small wave to Angelica.

"Hey." Angelica waved back.

"You know her?" Lil asked Angelica who just nodded. "Tommy, why is there a stripper in my home?"

"Well," Jasmine said, "It is a bachelor party."

"What?" Lil shouted. "Tommy and I have been married for...uh..."

"About five years." Kimi sighed.

"Exactly!" Lil yelled. "About five years. We have a child."

Jasmine turned to all four boys and glared at them. "What?"

"Uh..." Phil stuttered. "Tommy? We had no idea!"

Tommy turned and glared at Phil then said to Jasmine, "Maybe you should just go."

Jasmine rolled her eyes and left.

"Maybe we should go to." Chuckie said.

"Maybe you should." Tommy sighed.

Chuckie, Dil, and Phil all walked out the door. "Us too." Susie grinned nervously and walked out followed by Kimi and Angelica.

Once everyone was gone, Tommy said, "Well, Lil, you're taking this alot better than I expected."

"No, no." she shook her head. "I just didn't want to make a scene in front of everyone." Lil grinned punching Tommy in the stomach. "Do you know what I thought when I saw that stripper at first? I figured you was cheating on me!"

"Sorry." Tommy groaned over the pain in his gut.

"You bastard." Lil said punching him again in the stomach and pushing him back on the couch. She stood over him glaring at him. "Can't you go a week without pissing me off?"

"Uh...no?"

"Tommy," Lil shook her head. "You've done alot of bad things since we've been together, but throwing a fake bachelor party just to get a stripper? That's low, Tommy, very low."

"Uh...sorry?"

"Oh, oh, oh, no." Lil smiled mischeivously. "Sorry won't do it this time. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Uh...nothing?"

"No, no." Lil shook her head. "There is something wrong with you. Tommy, you just sometimes act so crazy! What made you think you'd get away with this?"

"Uh...I don't know."

"Was this your idea?" Lil asked leaning in looking him in the eyes.

"Uh...Phil's. And Dil's. Dil wanted to go to a strip joint but Phil wanted to order one. Naturally, we all gave into peer pressure and let Phil talk us into it."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Figures." Lil rolled her eyes sitting down in Tommy's lap with one leg on each side.

"W-Whatcha doin'?" Tommy asked nervously.

"Nothing." Lil smiled wrapping her legs around him.

"Holy crap." Tommy nervously smiled. "Now whatcha doin'?"

"Still nothing." Lil grinned. "But, now, I'm gonna show you the consequences of doing something, that betrays me, behind my back."

"Heh heh." Tommy nervously grinned again. "Is it gonna hurt?"

"Let's see." Lil smiled leaning kissing him deeply.

* * *

"I'm bored." Phil groaned. Him, Dil, Chuckie, Angelica, Susie, and Kimi were all in Phil's apartment. 

"Me too." Kimi said. "Let's go get some pizza or something."

"Nah." Phil shook his head. "I ain't in the mood for pizza."

"I'm in the mood for a stripper." Dil sighed.

"Hey!" Phil smiled. "Let's spy on T and Lil."

"No way." Angelica shook her head.

"Remember what happened the last time we spied on them?" Kimi asked.

"Oh yeah." Phil said shivering. "That was just wrong."

"I left my purse in there." Susie sighed. "I layed it down when I figured we were throwing the bachelorette party."

"I knew it!" Phil shouted jumping up.

"Oops." Susie grinned nervously at Angelica and Kimi who were glaring at her.

"A bachelorette party?" Dil asked.

"Oh, Lil is so busted." Chuckie chuckled evilly.

"Geeze, Chuck." Dil said. "Have you had alot of sugar today? You've been real energetic lately."

"I've been drunk most of the day." Chuckie nodded.

"I'm gonna tell Lil that we know!" Phil yelled running out.

"No wait!" all three girls yelled following him.

As Phil was about to open the door, he stopped and put his ear to it.

"Phil!" all three girls ran up to him.

"Shh!" Phil turned to them then went back to the door as Chuckie and Dil came over to them.

They all put their ears to the door and heard, "Oh! Oh! Yes!"

"Holy crap." Phil smiled. "They're doing it."

"Seriously?" Dil asked listening closer. "Oh my God, they are!"

"Guys, we can't listen to that." Susie sighed.

"Sure we can." Kimi nodded.

"Yeah." Angelica nodded in agreement.

"Okay." Susie shrugged listening through the door.

* * *

"God, they've been in there four friggin' hours." Kimi looked at her watch. Phil was the only one still listening. The others were just sitting in the middle of the hall waiting for Phil to get finished. 

"You done yet, Phil?" Angelica asked.

"Nope." Phil said taking a bite of a candy bar. "They're still going at it."

"Come on Phil." Chuckie rubbed his forehead. "Let's go to Doug's or something."

"No way." Phil smiled shaking his head. "They're still going at it."

"Phil." Kimi sighed. "They went at it. They've been going at it. And they're going to keep going at it."

"I know." Phil smiled. "Oh, I know."

"Phil, you are sick." Angelica glared at him.

"Gets me from here to there." Phil shrugged. "Hey. They stopped. No wait. Okay, there they go." he smiled as he nodded.

"Phil," Kimi walked over to him. "This is sick. Let's go."

"No way." Phil shook his head.

Kimi rolled her eyes and her and Angelica grabbed him and drug him back to Phil's apartment. They all went in and shut the door.

"Hey!" Phil yelled as Kimi and Angelica threw him on the couch. "It was just getting good."

"It's been good through the whole thing." Dil sighed. "I'm going home."

"Me too." Chuckie said following Dil out.

"Later." Angelica said as her and Susie left as well.

Kimi sighed sitting down next to Phil on the couch. "So, what do ya wanna do?"

"Well, I-"

"Except that." Kimi rolled her eyes.

"Okay." Phil sighed. "I don't know then."

"Well, I can't go home." Kimi smiled. "So, mind if I sleep here tonight?"

"It's only five o'clock." Phil said.

"Oh yeah." Kimi chuckled. "Well, do you want to play a game or go to Doug's or...something?"

"I don't know." Phil shrugged. "Want to call a stripper and..." Phil noticed Kimi glaring at him. "Uh, nevermind."

"Okay, Phil." Kimi smiled at him. "I'm about to do this because I care."

* * *

"Pass the popcorn." Phil said. Kimi smiled giving him a bucket of popcorn as they both sat at the door listening to Tommy and Lil. 

"Phillip, we are sick, sick people." Kimi chuckled.

"I know." Phil shrugged eating a hand full of popcorn. "But you know something I don't understand?"

"What's that?"

"Everytime those two get mad at eachother or fight, they make up. With sex, usually. But, why couldn't you and I ever make up?"

Kimi looked him in the eyes and just smiled. "I don't know, Phil. I just don't know."

Phil smiled back then gasped. "Wait. They've stopped."

"How can you tell?" Kimi asked.

"Because they're talking." Phil said trying to listen harder. "Uh oh. I think they know we're here."

Phil and Kimi quickly jumped up and ran into Phil's apartment and closed the door just as Lil opened the door, dressed in silky, sexuallingerie, and looked around. She shrugged and went back inside, locking the door.


	28. A Little Respect

Chapter 28

Kimi opened her eyes and yawned. She raised her head and noticed she was on Phil's couch. Phil was on the floor still asleep and beer bottles were spread around the room. She got up and looked at a clock on the wall. Ten o'clock in the morning. She left Phil's apartment and walked across the hall quietly opening the door of Tommy's apartment.

She walked in. Tommy was asleep on the couch with his arm wrapped around Lil, also asleep, who was also still dressed in lingerie. She quietly went into her room and closed the door.

She opened her dresser and pulled out a picture of her and Phil. It was when they was in high school after they had been swimming together. "Why can't we make up?" Kimi asked herself.

* * *

Later that day, Tommy walked into Doug's Diner. "Hey Doug." Tommy said to him. "Get me a coffee to go." 

"Sure you don't wanna beer?" Doug asked.

"No, no." Tommy shook his head. "Coffee's fine."

"Okay." Doug sighed handing Tommy a plastic cup with coffee in it. Tommy took a drink of it as Doug said, "So, how does Lil look in lingerie?"

Tommy immediately spit his coffee out, landing all over Doug. "What did you say?" Tommy asked choking.

"Well," Doug replied cleaning the coffee off his shirt. "Word on the street is, and when I say street, I mean Phil and Kimi, they said you two got it on after Lil ran a stripper out."

"Sons of bitches." Tommy growled crushing his cup of coffee, but the cup still being full, it splashed out all over Tommy. "Crap." he groaned looking at his stained clothes.

* * *

Lil was in her office looking at clothes on a rack that some guy was showing her. 

"Now Mrs. Pickles," he said, "This one would look real nice on a Hooter's waitress."

"Yes." Lil nodded. "Say, do we have any lingerie?"

"Uh..." the guy looked at her odd. "Perhaps."

"And I'm not talking about the sleep in lingerie. I'm talking about sleep with someone lingerie. That sexy stuff. You know what I'm talking about?" Lil grinned. The man looked at her odd then walked out as a familiar face walked in.

"Hello!" he smiled.

"Daniel?" Lil turned to him. "Hello, Daniel."

"Lillian," he said, "I just came to see how the old girl was holding up." Lil looked at him odd and Daniel then sighed and said, "The building. The company, Pickles! Work with me!"

"Sorry, sir!" Lil stood up straight and apologized.

"I'm not sir anymore, Lillian." Daniel chuckled. "Anyhow, the main thing I came here for was, well, I've been hearing that...well...this is kinda awkward but I can't resist from asking...I'd like to see some lingerie. Silky. Sexy. Sexual lingerie."

"What?" Lil shouted.

"Tell me, what kind was your's last night?" Daniel asked crossing his arms, looking very interested.

"Silky, yes. Very sexy and tight. Nice silk bra and-" she then looked at him odd. "How did you know that?"

"Where'd you get it?" Daniel asked.

"Inventory from here." she shrugged. "I actually stole it a long time ago when you were still the boss but I never did use it. Heh heh." she then glared at him. "How did you know that?"

"Well, I heard it." Daniel shrugged. "Some retard in the Cheezy Chuck's. Some freak with red hair. I overheard him talking to some guy who looked very similar to you."

"That damn dirty ape." Lil glared to no one imparticular.

* * *

Phil and Kimi were on his couch watching TV until the door swung open and Tommy and Lil walked in agrily. 

"Hey guys." Phil and Kimi turned to them.

"We need to talk." Tommy glared at them. "What makes you think you can spy on us and tell people what we do!"

"And wear!" Lil added.

"Um..." Kimi groaned. "It was Phil!" she pointed to him.

"Liar!" Phil stood up pointing back at her. "You told Doug!"

"You told Chuckie!" Kimi jumped up.

"Chuckie already knew!" Phil chuckled. "So, ha!"

"Chuckie didn't know about the lingerie!" Kimi smiled. "So, ha ha!" Kimi and Phil then both turned to Tommy and Lil who were glaring at them intensely. "Um, sorry?"

"Can you two do anything better than spy on us?" Lil asked. "Remember last time?"

"Oh yeah." Phil shivered.

"Now that was nasty." Kimi sighed.

"Not for us." Tommy smiled. He smiled at Lil but she turned and glared at him so he turned back to Phil and Kimi, glaring again.

"It wasn't just us!" Phil yelled. "Everyone else joined in!"

"Guys," Tommy rubbed his eyes. "Lil and I, well, we don't need this."

"Uh oh." Lil's eyes widended.

"We're married." Tommy shook his head at Phil and Kimi.

"Oh dear." Lil said again.

"We need some time." Tommy said.

"That baby sitter's gonna be pissed." Lil chuckled.

"Maybe Lil and I-"

"Don't move!" Kimi yelled.

"Yeah, please don't move!" Phil got on his knees. "We'll never spy again!"

"I was just gonna say go away for a week." Tommy looked at them odd.

"Oh." Phil stood back up. "Alright then."

"Yep." Lil nodded. "That baby sitter is mad."

"What are you talking about?" Tommy turned to Lil as his eyes widened. "Oh crap!"

"You two are the absoloute worst parents." Kimi shook her head.

"Quiet you!" Lil pointed at Kimi. "We're still mad."

* * *

Tommy and Lil, and Mikey, were in their apartment. Lil was playing with Mikey and Tommy was at the kitchen table with a laptop. 

"What are you looking at?" Lil asked putting Mikey in the playpen and walking over to Tommy.

"Hm?" he looked up. "Oh, I'm looking for hotel rooms in Vegas."

"Vegas?" Lil smiled. "We're going to Vegas?"

"Did we not talk about this?" Tommy looked at her odd.

"No." Lil said still smiling.

"Hm." Tommy said. "I thought we did. Anyway, yeah, you wanna go?"

"Hell yeah!" Lil shouted with joy.

"Lil, it's not like you've never been." Tommy chuckled.

"But now I can gamble!" Lil cheered. "Wait, we'll have to keep this quiet. If we mention this to anyone of our lame friends, they'll insist on going."

"Right." Tommy nodded.

* * *

Phil, Kimi, and Chuckie were at the bar of Doug's Diner watching Tommy and Lil talk to eachother at a table. 

"What are they talking about?" Kimi asked.

"Who? Them?" Phil chuckled. "Sex crazy loon and kiss-ass? Untelling."

"Seriously." Kimi said, not being able to help giggling at Phil's remark.

"Which one is sex crazy loon?" Chuckie asked. Phil and Kimi just stared at him for moment. "Seriously." he said again. "Which is which?"

"Lil is the sex crazy loon, Chuckie." Kimi rolled her eyes. "Anyway, Phil, why don't you go do a little eavesdropping and-"

"No way, Kimi." Phil shook his head. "If you remember, they're mad at us. And our eavesdropping is what got them mad at us."

"Your eavesdropping maybe." Chuckie rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, Tommy and Lil were talking...

"How many nights did you put us down for at Ceasar's Palace?" Lil asked smiling.

"One week exactly." Tommy nodded. "Sunday to Saturday night. Of course we'll have to be out of the hotel by Saturday afternoon, but you know what I mean."

"So we're leaving when?" Lil asked.

"Two days." Tommy smiled. "We'll give Mikey to my parents and we'll be off."

"Excellent." Lil nodded.

"Now, I know that the others are gonna find out somehow before we actually leave." Tommy sighed. "So we need to be on the lookout for spies trying to figure out our plans."

Back to Kimi, Phil, and Chuckie...

"I'm going to find out what they're planning." Kimi said standing up.

"No wait." Phil grabbed her arm. "You'll just get us in more trouble."

"Don't worry." Kimi winked at Phil walked towards the bathroom. Lucklily for her, Tommy and Lil were on the way to the bathroom.

As she passed them, they quit talking and watched her go by. They then went back to talking. After a minute, Kimi poked her head out and walked back to her seat but Tommy and Lil didn't see her.

"This trip to Vegas will be so cool." Lil said.

Kimi's eyes widened and she walked very quickly back to her seat.

"Well?" Phil asked.

"They're going to Vegas." Kimi smiled.

"Guys," Chuckie said. "They're married now. We can't keep butting in on their stuff."

"Screw you Chuck." Phil glared at his friend. "I'm going back to Vegas."

They all three then noticed Tommy and Lil were gone. They all then turned around to see Tommy and Lil in their faces glaring.

"Which one of you spied on us?" Tommy asked.

"Kimi." Phil and Chuckie said in unison. Kimi glared at them.

"You guys cannot come." Tommy glared again. "This is a trip for me and Lil. Just as Chuckie said, you can't keep butting in on our stuff."

"Fine." Phil rolled his eyes. "We won't come."

* * *

Tommy walked into the airline office and waited in line. He smiled out of joy waiting for his turn. Finally, he got up to the counter. 

"Yes?" the woman said. "Where would you like to go?"

"Two tickets to Las Vegas." Tommy smiled. "We'd like to leave Sunday and if not then, as soon as possible."

"Las Vegas, okay." the woman said typing into her computer. "You're in luck, sir. You've got the last two tickets for a month. They are coach though."

"Um, no, no." Tommy shook his head. "I'd like first class."

"Coach is all we have, sir." the woman shrugged.

"Fine." Tommy sighed.

A few moments later...

Tommy walked out and bumped into a woman. "Huh? Sorry."

"Tommy?"

"Laura." Tommy sighed. "Great, just great."

"How are you Tommy?" Laura asked. "How's Lil? How's Mickey?"

"Mikey."

"How's Mikey?"

"We're all good." Tommy nodded. "I infact just bought a couple tickets for a little trip. Just me and Lil actually."

"I see." Laura smiled. "Where to?"

"Vegas." Tommy nodded again.

"Really?" Laura asked. "That's great. I'm actually getting a ticket to go visit my parents in Wisconsin."

"That's good." Tommy said. "Well, tell your mom I said hi."

"Okay." Laura smiled walking into the building as Lil walked over to Tommy.

"Tell your mom I said hi?" she asked. "What the hell was that?"

"What?" Tommy asked as he and Lil began walking down the sidewalk. "And where did you come from?"

"That's not the point." Lil said. "Why was you talking to her?"

"Just a friendly conversation, Lil." Tommy smiled at her. "You don't have to get so worked up over this."

"I'm sorry." Lil smiled back. "Just as long as you don't do that again."

"Do what?"

"Associate with Laura."

"Okay." Tommy looked at her odd. "But it's not like you can just forbid me from ever talking to her again."

"Oh, I believe I just did." Lil grinned.

"You may be my wife but you can't tell me who I can see and can't see." Tommy glared at her.

"See? Are you dating her now?"

"No! The word 'see' can be used in a different context than dating."

"Tommy, I'm just asking that you never talk to her again."

"And I'm just saying, I will if I want to."

"Tommy, do you think I'm going to argue with you about this?"

"Well, apperantly you are."

"Well, I guess I am!" she yelled running into Doug's Diner. Tommy glared at her heading towards the apartment building.

* * *

Lil stormed into Doug's Diner and took a seat next to Kimi. 

"What's wrong Lil?" Kimi asked putting her hand on her back.

"Wrong?" Lil asked. "Nothing's wrong! Why would something be wrong?" Lil yelled storming out.

Phil then walked out of the bathroom and sat down next to Kimi. "What's her deal?"

"I don't know." Kimi sighed. "Probably Tommy again."

"I'll go talk to them." Phil sighed.

* * *

Tommy walked into their apartment and sat down on the couch sighing. 

"Hey." Chuckie walked in holding Mikey. "Lil dropped Mikey off earlier and said to bring him back by later."

"Okay." Tommy nodded. "Could you just put him in the playpen?"

"Yeah, sure." Chuckie looked at him odd putting Mikey in the playpen. "Something wrong, T?"

"No." Tommy shook his head.

"Come on, buddy." Chuckie sat down next to his friend. "You can tell me. We're best friends."

"It's just, Lil and I, oh nothing." Tommy sighed.

"Tell me." Chuckie smiled.

Tommy looked at him odd and said, "You're acting a little bit gay, Chuckie."

"Sorry." Chuckie said scooting away from Tommy. "But, um," Chuckie now used a deep voice, "Tell me now, Pickles!"

"That was really lame, Chuckie." Tommy glared at him. "But Lil and I had another fight."

"Can't you go one week without pissing her off?" Chuckie asked.

"That's what she said." Tommy sighed. "I mean, I was just talking to Laura."

"Laura?" Chuckie asked. "You jerk. How could you-"

"I was only talking to her!" Tommy shouted. "And Lil thinks she can just order me to never see her again."

"See?" Chuckie asked. "Are we using the word 'see' in the dating context or literally seeing, as in sight."

"As in sight." Tommy said. "Can you believe that?"

"Yes." Chuckie nodded.

"Huh?"

"Thomas, Thomas, Thomas." Chuckie scooted closer to Tommy.

"Chuckie."

"Sorry." Chuckie scooted back farther from him. "She's a woman. They are evil, mean, people who are always right. Never go against them. I've learned that in my day."

"But-but-"

"No buts, my friend." Chuckie said. "You apologize to her."

"Chuckie you don't understand." Tommy said. "Lil jumped all over me about even looking at her again. I honestly think you should take my side in this, Chuckie."

"I know I usually do, Tommy." Chuckie said. "But Lil seems to-"

"Lil's the one who told your mom about your playboys in high school." Tommy grinned.

"That bitch." Chuckie growled as Lil walked in.

Tommy and Chuckie stood up and glared at her.

"Tommy," she said. "I-"

"Listen Lillian." Tommy walked over to her. "I don't care if you don't want me to see her again. If I want, I might call her and have lunch. You can't tell me what to do! I'm the man, I make the rules!"

"Yeah." Chuckie nodded. "And show my playboys to mom. Oh, you bitch."

Lil turned to Chuckie and just looked at him odd. "That was Kimi."

Chuckie turned to Tommy who was grinning. "Gotcha." Tommy smiled. Chuckie glared at him then sighed and walked out.

"So, Lil, do you get what I'm saying?" Tommy shouted.

Lil looked at him in the eyes and said, "I was coming here to apologize." she said and walked out.

Tommy's eyes were wide as he watched Lil leave. He turned to Mikey who gave him a raspberry and turned away from him. Tommy walked over to the door and opened it. He looked around but she was already gone. He closed it and leaned up against the door and groaned, "Ah, crap."


	29. Viva Las Vegas

Chapter 29 

Tommy sighed sitting down on the couch as Phil walked in.

"What the hell did you do to my sister now?" Phil walked over to him.

"Phil," Tommy said. "Why don't you just leave."

"No way, dude." Phil shook his head popping his neck. "Bring it on, T."

"Phil."

"You know, I was coming here to talk but when I ran into Lil downstairs and she told me what you did, well, I changed my mind." Phil said making a fist. "Bring it."

"Phil."

"You scared, T?"

Tommy stood up and looked him in the eyes. He then kneed Phil in the crotch.

"Oh man!" he yelled as Tommy helped him on the couch.

"Phil," Tommy sighed. "Why don't you just leave?"

"Okay." Phil groaned getting up and walking out.

* * *

Two days later... 

Tommy and Lil were on the plane in their seats, still mad at eachother.

"I don't see why we couldn't have canceled this trip." Lil sighed.

"Because this was an expensive trip." Tommy smirked. "Alot of money. And if I'm not mistaken. Your money since you're the only one who seems to make it."

Lil turned to him and said, "I thought we was past that."

"I thought I was past Laura but you seemed to bring me back in." Tommy smirked again.

"You know, Tommy, it took two people to cause this arguement." Lil glared at him. "You and Laura."

"No, no." Tommy shook his head. "You kept going on about it while I tried to stop it."

"No, no, no, no." Lil glared at him. "I was the one wanting to end the conversation. You kept going on. I even came up to apologize."

Lil then turned away looking out the window as Tommy looked at her. He sighed and turned away.

* * *

The plane landed and soon the two got to their room in Caesar's Palace. 

Tommy and Lil walked in and threw their suitcases on the bed and sat down on it.

"This will be a long week." Lil sighed getting up off the bed heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Tommy asked angrily.

"To gamble." Lil smirked. "When you grow up, you can too." She then walked out.

"When you grow up, you can too." Tommy mocked her. He turned his head and saw the phone. He then had a mischievous grin on his face. He quickly picked it up and dialed Phil's number.

* * *

The phone ringing woke Phil up off the couch. He got up and walked over to it and picked it up. "Hello?" 

"Phil? This you?"

"Uh, yeah." Phil looked at it odd. "W-Who is this?"

"Tommy."

"Oh." Phil sighed of relief. "Scared me there for a minute. What's going on? Did you and Lil make up?"

"Hell no. I was just wondering if you, Kimi, Chuckie, and whoever would like to join us."

"Wait." Phil paused for a minute. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. Just wanting to know if my friends would like to join me."

"What happened to the alone time?"

"It's gone, Phil! Just get Kimi and Chuckie and Angelica and Susie and Dil and get your asses down here!"

"Okay, okay." Phil said.

* * *

"Hey." Phil walked into Doug's to see Kimi, Chuckie, Angelica, Susie, and Dil in there. "You guys wanna go to Vegas?" 

"I thought Tommy said-" Kimi said but Phil interrupted her.

"He just called me. Now, he wants us there." Phil sighed.

"I'm there." Angelica nodded.

"Nah." Dil shook his head. "I'm not the gambling type. I'm gonna stay here."

"Me too." Susie said. "I have no interest in Las Vegas."

"You're lost." Phil smiled. "How about you two?" he looked at Kimi and Chuckie.

"Okay." they both nodded.

"But," Chuckie said, "If it turns out that Tommy actually didn't want us there, Phil, you're in big trouble."

* * *

"Can you believe we got four first class tickets?" Angelica said who was sitting next to Kimi. Phil and Chuckie were sitting with eachother behind them. 

"I know." Kimi nodded. "Pretty darn convenient that four people decided to give their tickets back and not go."

"This is great!" Phil cheered. "I love Vegas. Granit I haven't been there since I was one, but oh well! It was great!"

* * *

"Caesar's Palace." Kimi said as they all four walked up to it. "They sure will be excited to see us." she smiled.

* * *

Lil tackled Kimi and began strangling her in Kimi's room. "I told you not to come!" 

"Sorry!" Kimi said over her lack of breath.

Phil and Angelica drug Lil off Kimi and Kimi got up trying to breathe. "Lil," Phil said, "Tommy called and invited us."

"Hey, did you get a suite?" Angelica asked. "Because, us four have to share this room and I've already decided that I'm not sleeping in the floor, nor with any of them."

"Why would Tommy call you guys?" Lil asked. Her eyes then widended. "That jerk."

* * *

"Tommy!" Lil ran into their room to see Tommy on the bed watching TV. "Did you invite our friends?" 

"Maybe." he said not even looking at her. "Lil, you made too much of-"

"No, Tommy!" she shouted. "You did! I just asked you to not see her again! She's your ex-wife! If you could understand anything, surely you could understand that! Remember when we were going out, Laura came back. That absoloutely broke my heart. Then, when we was on the way back from our honeymoon, and you talked to her at that gas station. I didn't know what to think. Then, that stripper in the apartment? Again, my heart broke because I thought you was cheating on me. Then, again at the airline office, I saw you talking and smiling at Laura. It scared me, Tommy."

Tommy just stared at her with watery eyes. "Lil, I don't know what to say."

"I do." she said. "You can share the suite with Phil." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek. "All I ask for, is your love." she said and walked out.

Tommy sat down on the bed and began to think. He sighed falling back on the bed.

* * *

"I'm broke." Phil walked over to Kimi who was at the slot machines. 

"How did you lose it all?" she asked as she put money in the slot and pulling the handle.

"Roulette." Phil rolled his eyes.

"That's like the worst odds, Phil." Kimi said. "No wonder you lost it all."

"Have you had any luck?" Phil asked.

"Yeah actually." Kimi nodded. "I won jackpot."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I lost it all." she shrugged.

"Hey." Chuckie walked up to them. "Have you guys gone broke yet?"

"Oh yeah." Phil nodded.

"I have a little left." Kimi said. "But I'm quitting while I'm ahead."

"You're not ahead." Chuckie said. "You just haven't lost as much as us."

"Exactly." Kimi grinned.

The three headed back to the room and walked in to see Angelica making out with a guy dressed like a gladiator. Angelica quit kissing and turned to them. "What?" she asked.

Kimi rolled her eyes and the three left and went into Tommy's room. "Hi Tommy." Kimi smiled as they walked in.

"Hey." Tommy said, laying back on the bed looking at the ceiling.

"Well?" Phil asked. "How's it going?"

"I dunno." Tommy shrugged.

"Wanna talk about it?" Chuckie asked.

"No." Tommy sighed.

"Wanna get wasted?" Phil asked.

Tommy sat up and stared at him along with Kimi and Chuckie. "Okay." Tommy grinned.

* * *

Tommy, Phil, Kimi, and Chuckie were at a bar, all with beers in their hands. 

"I mean," Tommy said, "I don't know what I did."

"Sure you do." Kimi said. "You scared her, T."

"Yeah." Chuckie nodded. "She thought you were cheating when the stripper was in your house and I'm sure you hanging out with Laura didn't help any."

"I wonder where she is." Tommy sighed. "I shouldn't be drinking all this." he said looking at his beer. "I need to be with her."

"No way man." Phil said, obviously drunk, stopped him. "You sit, man. My friend. Tommy. T. Thomas. Man, there's alot of ways to say your name."

"It just takes a few beers to get him drunk." Kimi rolled her eyes.

"Phil," Tommy stood up. "I have to find her."

"No!" Phil forced him to sit back down. "Let her think about what she's done, dude. Dude. Hey, how do you spell dude? Is it D-U-D-E or D-O-O-D? Yeah, the second one."

Tommy stood up anyway and ran out of the bar.

* * *

Lil walked through the casino and accidently bumped into someone. "Sorry." 

"No, no." the man said. "Pardon me." he smiled at her. "I'm Louis."

"I'm Lil." Lil smiled at him.

"Ms. Lillian, would you like a drink?" Louis asked her.

* * *

Tommy was walking through the whole bar, hotel, and casino looking for her. His eyes widened when he saw her sitting at a table with some guy having drinks. He stormed over to them. 

"Excuse me." he said.

"Yeah?" Louis asked.

"Tommy." Lil looked up.

"Who is this guy?" Louis asked. "Boyfriend?"

"Husband." Tommy said.

Louis looked at Lil odd, "You're married? Sorry, I only date single women. Don't want to get caught in a divorce." Louis said getting up and walking off. Tommy then took his seat.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"Just having a friendly conversation with the opposite sex." Lil said leaning back in her chair.

"Now, as I recall, when I did that, I got in big trouble."

"Yes you did." Lil said. "But, since you declared there was no problem with it, I figured I could do it too."

"You're unbelievable, Lil." Tommy threw his arms up in the air. "There's no pleasing you."

"What the hell are you talking about, Tommy?" Lil yelled. Everyone around them turned and stared.

"Lil, people are staring." Tommy whispered.

"I don't care Tommy!" Lil shouted. "I'm tired of having this same damn conversation with you over and over! I clearly explained to you the reason I don't like you hanging out with your ex-wife." and with that, Lil stood up and stormed off.

"Dude," some guy walked up to Tommy, "You hang out with your ex-wife? You're a bad man."

Tommy glared at the guy and said, "Beat it!"

* * *

Tommy walked into his and Lil's suite to see her packing her bags. "What are you doing?" 

"Leaving." she said.

"Lil," he said, "Please don't go. Go down to the bar with me. We'll have a couple-"

"No!" she yelled. "Tommy, you don't understand how you hurt me."

"I do, Lil." Tommy nodded. "It's not like I've never been hurt like that. When I walked in on Laura-"

"You see!" Lil yelled. "Laura again."

"What?" Tommy sighed. "I? What? Lil! It doesn't matter what I say, you're going to use it against me by saying I've cheated on you or I'm still in love with Laura!"

"No I won't Tommy." Lil shook her head. "I'm just afraid..."

"Afraid of what?" Tommy asked.

"That you're not in love with me anymore."

"Lillian." Tommy walked over to her. "I've always been in love with you."

"Tommy," Lil said. "I just don't want to talk to you right now."

"Please Lil." Tommy said but Lil headed towards the door. He grabbed her arm and stopped her. "Don't go."

* * *

"Wassup?" Chuckie kept asking people as he walked through the casino. 

"Chuckie." Kimi tried to stop him. "Heh heh. You're really making people mad. Can we please go back to the room?"

"No way, Kimi-Chan." Chuckie shook his head.

"Come on." Kimi said. "Phil went back to the room. Let's go too."

"Listen Kimi." Chuckie turned to her. "If you want to have sex with Phillo, go on ahead. I'm not much interested in a threesome."

"What?" Kimi yelled. "I'm just saying, you're gonna pass out in a minute and I ain't dragging you back to the room!"

"You can go." Chuckie said as Angelica approached them.

"Hey guys." she said.

"Wassup Angelica?" Chuckie said wrapping his arm around her waist. "Hey, Angelica, I gotta tell you something." Chuckie looked around and whispered into her ear, "You got big boobs." Chuckie laughed and ran off.

"That jerk." Angelica watched him go then looked down at her breasts. "Yeah they are pretty big, aren't they?" she smiled.

Kimi just stared at Angelica and shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Angelica, watch him, I'm going back to the room."

"You're just wanting to make a pass at Phil." Angelica muttered as Kimi walked off. "Where'd he go?" Angelica asked herself looking for Chuckie.

She sighed seeing him at the roulette table watching people. She walked over to him. He turned to her and said, "Hey Angelica, wassup? S'up? What's up? Hey, let's go get a drink."

"No, Chuck, I think you've had enough." Angelica said.

"Nonsense." Chuckie said shoving the beer he was holding into Angelica's mouth. Soon, she had drank it all.

"Woah." she smiled. "That's a good beer. Where's more? I want more."

"I shall show you." Chuckie said.

* * *

"Hey." Kimi walked into their room. Phil was on the bed holding his head. "Headache?" 

"Hangover." he groaned. "What are you doing up here?"

"Came to check on you." she smiled. "And it's getting pretty boring down there."

"Thanks." he smiled. "Hey, do you know if Tommy and Lil made up?"

"I don't know." Kimi replied as there was a knock on their door. Kimi sighed answereing it. "Tommy?"

"Huh?" he looked into the room holding many bottles of liqour. "This isn't my room." he said as Lil ran up to him.

"I found it." she laughed holding onto his arm. "It's the other room."

"Oh that one?" Tommy laughed pointing down the hall. They both ran off and Kimi closed the door.

"I guess they did." Phil smiled.

"Well, we'll see." Kimi said. "Tommy probably tricked her into drinking and in the morning, they'll be mad again."

"Yeah." Phil nodded. "Well, what do ya want to do?"

"Phil, tell me something." Kimi said. "Why did we break up?"

"Pretty much the same reason that Tommy and Lil are mad." Phil sighed. "I figured you loved Z. And I admit it, I broke it up."

Kimi smiled at him then looked at her watch. "It's ten o'clock."

"Been a long day." Phil commented.

"Did you regret it?" Kimi asked.

"What?"

"Breaking us up?"

"Oh yeah." Phil nodded. "I regreted it. I missed you Kimi. When I woke up and Tommy told me that you was staying in Miami, my heart shattered. Then, when I learned that Z had cheated on you and-"

"Phil."

"Hm?"

"I have a confession to make." Kimi sighed. "Z never cheated on me or got drunk or any of that stuff that I said. I told him I was coming home for my family and friends."

"You came back home for all of us?"

"No, Phil." Kimi sighed again. "I came home for you. But when I first got back, I decided not to get back together. Then, I thought about it more and more but then Summer came."

"You came back...just for me?" Phil asked.

"But I guess I know I can never be with you." Kimi said about to cry.

"No, Kimi." Phil shook his head. "I really wasn't going out with Summer. I wanted it to sound like I was over you so I hired her."

Kimi giggled at Phil's sentence. "That's Phil DeVille for you." she smiled and he smiled back.

* * *

The next morning... 

Kimi woke up at nine o'clock. She was in one bed and Phil was in the other. She yawned and rubbed her eyes as Phil woke up too.

"Morning." he yawned.

"Good morning." she said getting up off the bed.

"Good morning!" Chuckie swung the door open followed by Angelica.

"Are you still drunk?" Kimi asked.

"Oh yeah." Chuckie smiled. "We drank all night. Woah, Kimi, watch out."

"What?" Kimi turned around but Chuckie and Angelica burst out laughing.

"And he got Angelica drunk." Phil rolled his eyes.

"Guess what we did." Chuckie smiled.

"What?" Phil asked yawning.

"We got married!" Angelica cheered. Chuckie and Angelica laughed a few times then ran out.

Phil and Kimi's eyes and mouths were wide open as they left. They then turned to eachother and Phil chuckled, "Viva Las Vegas."

* * *

"Ugh." Tommy rubbed his head getting up out of the bed. He noticed Lil was in it with him. He sighed walking over to a desk as Lil woke up. 

"I'm still mad at you." she groaned.

"Uh huh." he said not even paying attention to what she said. He looked down on the desk at a small pamplet of papers. "Oh my God, Lil."

Lil walked over to the papers and said, "How ironic."


	30. Married Life

Chapter 30

"This is an outrage!" Tommy shouted pacing the room as Lil sat quietly on the bed. "I mean I've heard of getting drunk and getting married, but this is ridiculous!"

"Yeah." Lil nodded.

"I mean **what **the hell?" he turned to her. "How in God's name does something like this happen?"

"Dunno." she shrugged.

"Come on, Lil!" Tommy yelled opening the door. "We have to get remarried!"

"I know." Lil sighed.

"Then let's go." Tommy pointed out the door. Lil looked up and frowned at him.

"Why don't we...um...stay...divorced for a while?" Lil shrugged.

Tommy stared at her and shook his head then walked out the door and slammed it shut. Lil sighed as she began to cry slowly.

* * *

"Viva Las Vegas!" Phil sang as he brushed his teeth. "Hey Kimi! Any sign of the couple?" 

"No." Kimi rolled her eyes with the door to their room open, waiting for Chuckie and Angelica to run by again. "Here they come." she said.

Chuckie ran by with a beer in his hand and Kimi tackled him. She drug him inside as Chuckie glared at her and said, "Listen, priss pants," he said.

"Priss pants?" Kimi asked. "I'm kind of a tomboy." She then heard Phil snort and chuckle a few times. "I am!"

"Yeah right!" she heard him yell.

Kimi rolled her eyes and turned back to Chuckie. "Where's the wife?"

"There you are!" the door swung open and Angelica walked in. "I was so...um...what is that blasted word I'm looking for?" she began to scratch her chin.

"Worried?" Kimi suggested.

"That's it." Angelica smiled. "Worried, Chuckie, I was...hey, Kim," she began to whisper, "What was that word again?"

"Okay guys." Phil walked out of the bathroom and said. "Go to bed."

Chuckie and Angelica shrugged and climbed into bed but Kimi shouted, "Different beds!"

Chuckie rolled his eyes as he got into the other bed. "And don't get out!" Phil yelled as he and Kimi walked out and closed the door.

"Geeze." Kimi rolled her eyes.

"Acting like a married couple." Phil sighed. They turned and looked at eachother, shrugged, and walked down the hall.

They walked into a small restaraunt part of the casino to see Tommy sitting at a table staring straight ahead. "What's wrong, T?" Phil asked as he and Kimi sat down next to him.

"Did you and Lil make up?" Kimi asked rubbing his arm.

"No." he said. "We...well..."

"What?" Kimi looked at him odd.

"We...got divorced."

"What?" they both shouted.

"Why?" Phil asked. "Did you divorce her or did she divorce you?"

"You got divorced over a stupid fight?" Kimi asked.

"No." Tommy shook his head. "We got drunk and got divorced."

"Hey," Phil smiled. "Chuck and Ange got drunk and got married. Talk about ironic." he chuckled then saw Kimi glaring at him. "Sorry." he smiled at Tommy. "What are you gonna do?"

"Wait," Kimi said. "Just get remarried. This really ain't such a big-"

"She don't want to get remarried." Tommy said.

"Holy crap." Kimi sighed. "Why doesn't she want to get back together."

"Probably because of that damn argument." he growled getting up .

"Tommy," Phil said. "Just tell Lillian that you won't see Laura again. It's that simple."

"Yeah." Tommy nodded. "I guess I'll just say that."

"Just say that?" Kimi glared at him standing up. "Don't just say it, you freak!"

"What?" Tommy stepped back nervously.

"Don't just say it!" Kimi yelled. "Mean it. Tell her with enthusiasm that you will never, ever see, talk, or come in contact with her again!"

"Okay, okay." Tommy waved his hands in defense. "I planned on that anyway." he said walking back to the room.

Once he was gone,Kimi rolled her eyes and said, "I'd better go talk to them."

"Why?" Phil asked.

"Knowing Tommy," she said. "He'll make things worse."

* * *

Tommy walked into the room to see it empty. He looked around and couldn't find her. "Lil?" he called out. "Where are you?" 

Kimi then walked in and slapped Tommy in the back of the head. "Tommy!"

"Ouch!" Tommy rubbed the back of his head. "What?"

"Did you run her off?" Kimi growled.

"No!" Tommy yelled. "She isn't in here!"

"Probably because you couldn't make one freakin' promise to her!"

"I came up here to do that!"

"Tommy! When will you learn that the woman is always right?"

Lil then walked out of the bathroom and stared blankly at the two having an argument.

"Kimi. Tommy." she said. They both turned to her and smiled, then Kimi hit Tommy in the back of the head again.

"Don't screw it up, moron." Kimi whispered to him walking out.

"Lil." Tommy walked over to her. "I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry. Please forgive me. I swear I'll stay away from her. You were right to be mad at me. I mean what kind of jerk hangs out with his ex-wife? Seriously." he then began to think. "Who does that?" he pondered.

"Tommy." Lil snapped her fingers.

"Huh?" he looked back at her. "Oh, sorry. Anyway, Lillian Marie Jill DeVille, forgive me and marry me...uh, again."

"Okay." she smiled. "Okay."

"Great!" Tommy smiled. "Let's go!" he quickly jerked the door open. Kimi and Phil then fell over and landed in the room. "What the?"

"Uh..." Phil jumped up. "Yeah. Can I be the best man?" he grinned.

* * *

Chuckie slowly opened his eyes and rubbed his head. "I have a major headache." he groaned sitting up. He looked over at the other bed to see Angelica sleeping. "Wait a second." he looked at her odd. 

Angelica then woke up. "Hm?" he looked over at Chuckie. "What's going on?"

"Dunno." Chuckie said getting up. "Hold on." he looked at his hand to see a ring on his finger. "Am I married?"

"I don't think so." Angelica said looking at her own hand. "But apperantly, I am too. And look at the size of this diamond." she smiled. "Probably costed alot."

Chuckie got up and saw his wallet on the nightstand. He grabbed it and opened it. "That's odd." he said. "I had about four-hundred dollars in here. And here's a receipt."

"What's it for?" Angelica asked getting out of the bed.

"A ring." he looked up. They looked at eachother then their rings then back at each other then at the rings again. "We?"

"Rings?"

"Marri-"

"Don't say it!" Angelica stopped him. "Don't you dare freakin' say it." she began breathing very hard. "I need a paper bag!"

"What?"

"Bag!" she shouted. "I need a paper bag!"

* * *

Tommy, Lil, Phil, and Kimi ran into a dirty, rundown church in the outskirts of Las Vegas. 

"Tommy, I don't want to get married here." Lil whispered to him.

"Me neither." Tommy whispered back. "But we apperantly spent all of our money on wine and liqour last night. And all churchs in Vegas cost money to get married. I wonder why."

"Focus, T." Lil sighed.

"Oh, sorry." he walked up to a counter. "Yeah, um, can I get married, please?"

The woman at the counter nodded and said, "Yeah, sure. Um, though it costs money to get married by Elvis though."

"Elvis?" Phil smiled. "Elvis is here?"

"Not the real Elvis, Phil." Kimi rolled her eyes.

"How much?" Tommy asked.

"Fivehundred dollars." the woman said.

"Is there any place in Vegas that doesn't cost money?" Tommy asked rolling his eyes.

"No." the woman replied. "Unless you want to risk being shot by the Mafia."

"I could go for that." Tommy shrugged.

"We'll take it." Lil replied.

* * *

"And do you, Thomas Pickles take Lillian DeVille as your wife?" a Italian priest dressed at Elvis said. 

"I do." Tommy smiled at Lil.

"I'm so happy." Phil wiped a tear away as Kimi just looked at him odd and shook her head.

"And Lil," the priest turned to her. "Same question, reverse the names."

"I do."

"Okay then." the priest said. "Badda bing, badda boom. You married. Go on and kiss her."

Tommy and Lil passionately kissed as Phil kept crying and Kimi propped her feet up on the row of seats in front of her.

* * *

"AHHHHH!" Chuckie and Angelica both screamed. 

"We're?" Angelica rubbed her head.

"Married?" Chuckie finished sitting on the bed.

"Hey guys." Phil and Kimi walked. "You sober yet?" Phil chuckled.

"YES!" they both yelled. "AND MARRIED!" they added.

"Yeah, we knew that." Kimi smiled. "So is Tommy and Lil."

"Uh, yeah, duh." Angelica rolled her eyes.

"Well, they got divorced." Phil said.

"Oh, why?" Chuckie asked concerned.

"Don't worry." Phil said. "They were drunk."

"That's ironic." Chuckie commented. "Anway, we got married! Angelica and I!"

"I am now Angelica Finster!" Angelica screeched as she began crying. "I'm a loser!" Chuckie and Kimi turned and glared at her.

"Angelica," Kimi said. "You two can just get a divorce."

"Yeah, okay." Angelica said wiping a tear away.

"I'm not a loser." Chuckie glared at her. "Now fix me some super!"

* * *

"Geeze." Tommy said as he and Lil walked into their room. 

"You're supposed to carry me in." Lil said.

"This isn't our honeymoon." Tommy replied. "Just thinkof going back to California as our life long honeymoon that last forever where we have a kid, horrible friends, and over protective parents."

"A dream come true." Lil chuckled.

"Well, do you want to go home in the morning?" Tommy asked sitting on the bed.

"What?" she turned to him. "But this trip was supposed to last a week."

"I know." Tommy shrugged. "But, I figured we could leave with out the others knowing and go home and..."

"Ohhh." Lil grinned. "I see."

"Yeah." Tommy nodded.

* * *

The next morning... 

"Guys!" Phil swung Tommy and Lil's suite door open. "Chuckie threw up!" he cheered. He then noticed no one was in there. It was clean and nothing of Tommy or Lil's was in there.

"Where are they?" Kimi walked up.

"I don't know." Phil shrugged.

* * *

"Hee hee." Lil giggled. "Stop it Tommy, we're in public." she said as they stepped off the plane and Tommy poked at her. "I said stop it." she grabbed his arm and twisted it. 

"Ah!" he yelled in pain. "Okay, okay."

They walked out of the gate and onto the side of the road. They waited fora taxi to go by. "Doesn't this frickin' town have a taxi?" Lil asked.

"No." Tommy sighed. "Everyone has a car. Except us." He rolled his eyes.

"We could call Dil or Susie." Lil said.

"No." Tommy shook his head. "We want this return home to be a secret."

"Oh yeah, okay." Lil nodded. "Go ask someone if they'll give us a ride."

"No." Tommy turned to her. "I'm not doing that. I'd end up asking a murderer or rapist or something."

"But we need to get home." Lil punched him in the arm.

"Ow." he rubbed his arm.

"Pussy." Lil rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms.

"I'm not asking some stranger for a ride." Tommy sighed.

"Do it, now." Lil grabbed his collar. "Or no sex."

Tommy instantly got out of her grip and pranced over to a woman talking to a guy. "Excuse me ma'am and sir, could you be so kind as to give us transportation to our sheltered home?"

The woman turned around and gasped. "Tommy?" she smiled.

"Laura?" Tommy looked at her odd. He stomped his foor and shouted, "Son of a bitch!"


	31. Hunting Trip

Chapter 31

Lil sat with an unsatisfied look on her face as Tommy, Phil, Dil, and Chuckie were in her's and Tommy's apartment with camoflauged jackets on and orange caps and shirts with rifles in their hands. Angelica then walked in.

"Well, Chuckie." she said. "The divorce is final."

"Thank the good God." Chuckie took a deep breath as Kimi walked in.

"I can't believe you guys are going hunting." Kimi glared at them.

"Tommy," Lil said whiling holding Mikey. "Have you ever shot a gun in your life?"

"Hell yeah." Tommy grinned. "I went hunting with Grandpa all the time for deer, rabbit, quail, and even moose."

"Moose?" Lil asked.

"Yeah. Moose." Tommy nodded. "Dil came too every once in a while."

"Oh yeah." Dil smiled big.

"You guys ready?" Phil asked.

"Don't shoot one." Kimi said. "You're not going to shoot one are you?"

"Yeah, Kimi." Phil nodded. "We are. That's what you do on a hunting trip."

"Imagine that you're that deer." Kimi said. "Your standing there as suddenly, a friggin' bullet blasts right through your friggin' head."

"Well," Phil said. "I don't have much time to react as my brains fly all over the ground."

"Yeah guys." Lil agreed with Kimi, fakely. "Uh...don't shoot...one." As the boys began to walk out, Lil grabbed Tommy's shoulder and whispered into his ear, "Bring us back some deer meat." Tommy smiled and nodded, gave her a quick peck on the lips, then headed out the door.

* * *

Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Dil were in Dil's truck. Dil was driving and Tommy in the front with him while Chuckie and Phil were in the back seat. 

"How long is it going to take to get there?" Chuckie asked.

"A while." Dil replied.

"You know something guys." Phil said. "We are real men, you know that?"

"Hell yeah, we are." Tommy grinned. "Did you guys even bring bullets?"

"Hell no." they all replied.

"Excellent." Tommy smiled. "You got the beer, Phil?"

"Oh yeah." Phil smiled.

"You bring some cards, Dil?"

"Uh huh."

"I got the portable TV." Tommy grinned. "And Chuckie, did you buy the deer meat to fool the girls?"

"Yep." Chuckie nodded.

"Yes, Phil." Tommy sighed while smiling. "We are real men."

Later...the arrived at the cabin. They parked outside it and went inside.

"Well, let's begin." Tommy said sitting down at the table. "Show me the money."

"Money?" Phil looked at him confused as he sat down.

"Cards." Tommy rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Dil sat down with them and pulled out a deck of cards as Chuckie sat down too. They began playing poker.

After about an hour...

"That wasn't fun." Phil said, wearing no clothes.

"Sure it was." Tommy grinned wearing only his underwear.

"Strip poker was an excellent idea." Dil nodded wearing every bit of clothing.

"I agree with Phil." Chuckie sighed with a cup covering his crotch.

"Come on, Chuckie." Phil said. "We're the guys. We can see your dick. There's no problem with it."

"The very reason I don't want you to see it." Chuckie glared at him. "You **are** the guys."

"Okay, Chuck, put your pants on." Tommy said taking another drink of his beer. "You too Phil. You've had a boner for a while and it disturbs me. Very much. I am disturbed very much."

Phil rolled his eyes quickly putting his clothes back on as well as Tommy and Chuckie too. "What now?" Chuckie asked.

"Want to go hunting?" Dil asked.

"No." he all replied.

"Come on,guys." Dil groaned. "I want to shoot something."

"Shoot Phil." Chuckie said shuffling the deck of cards.

Phil rolled his eyes and said, "Dil, if you wanted to shoot a deer, why didn't you bring any bullets?"

"I did." he replied. "Just didn't want to sound like a pussy in front of you guys."

"Bringing bullets for a hunting trip doesn't make you a pussy." Tommy put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Not bringing bullets for a hunting trip seems kind of weak." he began to ponder.

"Tommy." Dil sighed.

"Oh." Tommy looked back to Dil. "Um. Okay, D. Let's go. For you."

"Do we have to?" Chuckie groaned.

"Yes." Tommy glared at him. "We're going hunting."

* * *

"Yet another day off from the boys." Kimi smiled leaning back in a lawn chair on the roof with Lil, Angelica, and Susie in other lawn chairs next to her. 

"Yes." Lil replied sipping a beer.

"Wait a second." Susie said. "Last time we left them alone they ordered a stripper and Lil had to screw Tommy to punish him."

"That was a good night." Lil smiled taking another drink of beer.

"We know." Kimi mumbled.

"What?" Lil looked over to Kimi.

"Nothing." Kimi replied nervously sipping a beer of her own.

"Ah so what?" Angelica shrugged. "Let'em order a stripper."

"Yeah sure." Lil shrugged too. "Just a stripper. Not like he'd sleep...with...her."

"Phil would." Kimi said taking a big gulp of beer. "Okay." she leaned up. "Now, let's get drunk and go to Johnny's place."

"What's Johnny's?" Angelica asked.

"You guys have never been to Johnny's?" Kimi asked. "A bar, sort of like Doug's. Only, it's more of a hard core like place. Lots of guys there. Single guys. Lots of beer."

"Sounds good." Angelica grinned.

"Crap." Lil rolled her eyes. "I'm married." she sighed.

"So what?" Angelica shrugged. "Pretend your not. That's what Tommy did."

* * *

Tommy, Dil, Chuckie, and Phil were sitting in the tree stand with their rifles ready. 

"This is boring, Dil." Phil groaned. "No deer. We've been up here for an hour."

"Look." Dil whispered pointing out of the stand. They all looked to see a big buck eating grass below the tree stand.

"Good." Chuckie whispered. "Now shoot the thing so we can get out of here!"

Dil aimed his gun at the deer and prepared to pull the trigger but stopped and put the gun down. "I can't do it." he said.

"What?" Tommy glared at him. "Dammit, Dil. That is the very reason we came up here. You're doing the exact opposite of what you was supposed to do!"

"I can't." Dil said watching the buck eating grass. "Look at the precious thing."

"It's a deer, D." Chuckie sighed. "Just the stupid thing."

"Stupid?" Dil glared at him. "The deer is a beautiful, peaceful, intelligent mammal."

"So technical." Phil sighed. "Please Dil. It's getting hot up here and the bugs are crazy." he said swatting flies away.

"I'll scare him off." Dil said.

"No." Tommy said. "You dragged us up here to shoot a freaking deer. Now shoot it."

"O-Okay." Dil sighed pointing the gun at it again. He then lowered it and sighed. "But, I-"

"Dil." Tommy rubbed his eyes. "You've shot a deer before. Just shoot the deer."

"You've been hunting plenty of times." Chuckie said.

"I never shot anything." Dil mumbled.

"Sure you have." Tommy said.

"Nah." Dil shook his head. "I made Grandpa shoot them to make it look like I did."

"Ohh." Tommy sighed. "I see. Well, it's okay Dil." he then turned to Phil. "Blow its head off, Phil."

Phil nodded and pointed the rifle at the deer. "NO!" Dil yelled smacking the gun as he fired it. The bullet shot off into the air startling the deer.

"I'll be." Phil glared at Dil. "I missed." he then noticed the deer began bucking the tree. The tree stand shook and the box of bullets fell out along with Dil's rifle.

"Crap." Tommy groaned.

The deer kept bucking the tree looking up at them and growled. "Did it just growl at us?" Phil asked nervously.

"I think so." Chuckie gulped. "That'sa mean deer."

"Sh-Shoot it Phil." Tommy turned to Phil.

"N-No problem." Phil aimed the gun at the deer again but Dil hit it knocking it out of Phil's hands and it landed on the ground next to the tree. "Nice job, Dil."

"Now we're trapped." Tommy rolled his eyes.

"Don't you have bullets?" Phil asked Tommy and Chuckie.

"Didn't plan on shooting anything." Tommy sighed picking up a Playboy that was lying next to him. He opened it andbegan scanning the pages.

"Me too." Chuckie sighed.

"It's just a cute little deer guys." Dil said. "Let's just climb down the ladder and get out of here." Dil began climbing down the ladder. But, the deer put its two front legs up on the tree and began hitting Dil with its antlers and snapping at him. Dil quickly climbed back up.

"Little bit mean, eh?" Phil glared at Dil.

"A tad." Dil shrugged.

"If you had just let Phil shoot it." Tommy sighed.

* * *

"_Everybody dance now!_" the music in Johnny's was booming. 

Kimi, Lil, Angelica, and Susie were sitting at a table with blue, red, and green strobe lights all over the diner. People everywhere and the waitresses had very slutty outfits on.

"This is like Hooters X." Lil commented on the diner.

"Changed alot since I was here last." Kimi looked around nervously.

"And when was you here last?" Susie glared at her.

Kimi shrugged and looked down nervously. "Six years ago."

"Six years ago?" Lil asked angrily. "Have you noticed that the only girls here are waitresses?"

"Everyone probably thinks we're lesbians." Angelica growled as a woman walked by the looked like a boy and glared at Angelica. "Not that they're anything wrong with that." she chuckled nervously as the woman walked off.

"Kimi, can we go?" Lil asked gulping. "Those guys at the bar are checking us out and it seems to be angering the waitresses."

* * *

Night time... 

Chuckie and Dil were asleep in the corner of the tree stand, cuddle up withDil having his arm wrapped around Chuckie waist and Chuckie resting his head on Dil's chest.

Tommy and Phil tried to restrain from laughing. "I can't wait until they wake up." Tommy whispered opening a bottle of beer.

"Me too." Phil chuckled opening one too. Phil sighed leaning back in one corner of the stand and Tommy in the other corner. "So, T." he said. "What's the married life like?"

"It's great." Tommy smiled. "I am going to be with her the rest of my life. I havea child and I love him. I lover her. I love it all. The joys of being a father, a husband."

"Tommy, let me ask you something." Phil said. "In high school. Some guys in the locker room made fun of me."

"Geeze Phil." Tommy covered his eyes with his free hand. "I don't wanna hear that."

"No, no." Phil shook his head chuckling. "Not that. Believe me, they never made fun of me about that. I did alot of making fun of though." he grinned. "Anyway, in high school some guys called me a...uh...a man whore."

Tommy was taking a drink of beer then about spit it up when he heard Phil. He swallowed it and eased out, "Man whore?"

"Yeah." Phil sighed. "Well, you know. I lost my virginity in tenth grade." he shrugged.

"Of course." Tommy nodded.

"And they said I'd probably be a guy to never fall in love." he sighed innocently.

"Phillip." Tommy smiled at his friend. "You already proved them wrong. You fell in love with Kimi Finster. And you're still in love with her."

"What?" Phil looked at him. "Why would you say I'm still in love with her?"

"It's obvious, Phil." Tommy rolled his eyes. "And you began yelling it in your sleep while you was on my couch the other night."

"Oh."

"Phil." Tommy said. "I think Kimi still loves you too. It's just, you're hard to get along with."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Phil glared at him.

"That's not what I meant." Tommy said. "I mean, you want to satisfy her so much, you ruined it. You were jealous of Z and in order to get attention again, you poisoned me."

"Yeah." Phil nodded.

"You tried so hard for her love, you destroyed it." Tommy said.

"What's your point, T?" Phil asked.

Tommy just stared at him for a moment and said, "I don't know." he said. "But what I'm trying to say is, well, make a move. She'll fall for ya."

"You sure, Tommy?" Phil smiled.

"No." Tommy frowned. "In fact, it probably won't work."

"Huh?"

"But, worth a shot, eh?" he smiled. Tommy sighed and smiled. "Phil. You love her. She loves you. I don't know what else to tell you. But, I can tell that you want what me and Lil have, don't you?"

"Yes." Phil nodded. "I want to have a family. Ever since Mom caught me doing it with Jordan Banks on summer vacation of your alls' second year of college, she's been ashamed of me."

"Jordan Banks." Tommy grinned. "I remember her. She slapped me several times. Never would go out with me. By the way, were they real?"

"Fake as they could be." Phil rolled his eyes. "Anyway, Mom said to my face, I would'nt amount to anything. Then I realized that Lil was the success of the family."

"That's horrible." Tommy sighed. "But Lil is a pretty big success, eh?"

"Shut up, T." Phil glared at him. "We're having a moment, here. Anyhow, Dad tried to tell Mom that I was grown up and crap. But, she would hardly talk to me afterwards. I haven't spoken to Mom in two years."

"You haven't spoken to Betty in two years?" Tommy asked. "They live justa few blocks away. What about your dad?"

"I talk to Dad all the time." Phil shrugged. "At your wedding, Tommy. Mom only said two statements to me. The first one: Tuck your shirt in. The second one: Don't you want that?"

"I'm sorry Phil."

"It's fine." Phil shrugged. "I always thought of my Mom as being cool. She was the easy going one that would get us out of trouble when your's and Chuckie's mom got mad."

"Yeah." Tommy smiled.

"I tell you, T." Phil said. "The greatest fear in your life should be your parents catching you having sex."

Tommy stared at him opened eyed for a moment and said. "Yeeesss. It **should** be."

"Have they caught you before?"

"Every girl I've ever been with." Tommy sighed. "Literally." he then began to think. "Except Kimi that time in college." he looked over to Phil who was glaring at him. "And Lil that time in college."

"Anyway." Phil glared at him. "Who? When? Where? How? And what?"

"I don't feel comfortable about this." Tommy said looking at him odd.

"Come on." Phil nudged him.

Tommy smiled and him and blurt out, "Okay." he then began to whisper. "So, I was with Ashley...uh...yeah...Ashley."

"What was her last name?" Phil asked.

"I can't remember." Tommy rolled his eyes. "We had been going out for a year. Then, I came home on summer vacation from our first year of college. My parents had just met her. After super, we went to my room, she took my pants off, she put on some slutty lingerie and like...pounced on me. Then, my dad and mom walked in wanting to know if we wanted to go see Hamlet."

"Seriously?" Phil chuckled. "Oh my God." he laughed. "Okay, who else?"

"Okay, this other girl, Logan...uh...um...hm." Tommy began to think. "What was her last name? Oh well! Anyway, we were going out for about a years as well. Doing it in the dorm room on the graduation day of college. Then, my parents walked in for a little surprise visit before the graduation party."

"Ha ha!" Phil laughed. "Another one! Another one!"

"Laura." Tommy started. "Wait. I'm not supposed to talk about her."

"Lil ain't here."

"Okay!" Tommy smiled. "So, Laura-"

"Wait." Phil stopped him. "You're already at Laura? That was the relationship right before Lil."

"Yes."

"You've only been in four relationships?" Phil chuckled.

"Shut it, whore boy." Tommy glared at him. "Anyway. I just proposed to her and she came onto me. She just started doing it with me."

"When did your parents walk in?"

Tommy smiled and laughed, "Did I forget to mention that I proposed to her in the living room of my parents house with Mom, Dad, and Dil watching?"

Phil burst out laughing and wiped a tear away. "That is absoloutely halarious. Please, tell another."

"Okay, finally Lillian." Tommy said. "Your parents saw this one too, by the way."

"Huh?"

"We were just sitting at home." he said. "About nine o'clock. I was reading the newspaper, Lil was writing her book."

"Writing her book?" Phil asked.

"She attempted to write a book." Tommy said. "I never read it. I said I did but the freakin' thing was thirty two chapters long."

"Geeze." Phil's eyes widened.

"Yeah, no one would publish it because so many children died of sharp weapons." Tommy sighed. "Anyway, she says to me, 'Wanna do it?'. So I'm like, you know, what am I gonna say? So I shrug and nod and we...well...you know."

"And?"

"Mine and your parents walk in." Tommy rubbed his eyes.

"Why?"

"It was Dil's birthday." Tommy sighed. "They weretrying to find him."

"Man, you are such a loser." Phil laughed.

"I know, I know." Tommy laughed with him. "You know what makes it even funnier?"

"What?"

"They found Dil." Tommy chuckled. "Stoned."

"Holy crap." Phil laughed.

They finally stopped laughing and smield at eachother. "You know, Phil." Tommy said. "I love hanging out with you."

"I'm a fun guy." Phil nodded.

"I mean," Tommy said. "You see these people who are friends as kids, teenagers, and in college, but then they grow up. They go their seperate paths and never meet up again. Move to other cities. Other states. Other countries. Get jobs, get married, get laid, get killed. I'm just so thankful that I have friends that are so...friendly." he smiled.

"Yeah." Phil nodded. "We are some pretty good friends."

"Seriously." Tommy said. "I have been friends with you, Lil, Chuckie, Kimi, Angelica, and Susie since I was one year old. That's some good friendship. We have been friends for almost thirty years."

"Don't remind me." Phil rubbed his forehead. "One more year and I'm thirty years old."

"At least you're not a virgin." Tommy said taking a drink of beer.

Phil looked at him odd and whispered, "Are you?"

"No!" Tommy yelled. "I'm just saying. At least you're not. In general. You know. I have a freakin' child for God's sakes." he shook his head taking another big gulp of beer.

"So, Tommy." Phil said. "Lil's not here. Tell me what you really think of her."

"Can't stand the woman." he blurted out. "Nah, I'm just kidding."

"I hope." Phil looked at him odd.

"I love her more than anything." Tommy said. "In high school, I developed a crush on her when you guys came back from your grandparents for the whole summer and she came back very hot."

"Hey." Phil glared at him.

"I'm married to her, dude." Tommy sighed. "I can say anything I want about her." Tommy then rubbed the back of his head. "Ouch."

"What is it?"

"I knew I shouldn't have said that." Tommy mumbled. "Uh, anyway. I had a crush on her but like a coward, I never made a move."

"Yeah, your first relationship was in college." Phil chuckled.

"Who's telling the damn story, Phil?" Tommy glared at him. "So Chuckie goes out with her. I get mad then they break up and I'm less mad. As time went on, my crush got smaller. Lil and I always were more than friends. I knew it. But never did I imagine screwing her in college, marrying her, having a child, getting punished with sex with her, divorcing her, and marrying her again. All in that order. Never thought any of that would happen."

"Hm." Phil nodded taking another drink of beer. "Is that deer gone yet?" he looked over the side to barely see its face in the dark looking at them with intensity. "Stupid deer." he sighed.

"So, Phil." Tommy said. "Tell me your story. Who is Phillip DeVille?"

"What do you mean?"

"I want to know some stuff, Phil." Tommy said. "How did the love for Kimi Finster develop."

"That my friend," Phil said, "Is for another time."

"We're going to be up here a while."

"Alright, fine." Phil said. "But, let me warn you. Prepare for a flashback chapter."

"What?" Tommy looked at him blankly.

"Nothing." Phil rolled his eyes.

* * *

**That was a long chapter, compared to my usaul lengthed chapters at least. I hope you're enjoying it. read and review**


	32. Phil's Flashback

Chapter 32

High school. The third year of it. 11th grade. Tommy was in good shape. Popular, cool, and girls all over him yet he would go out with none of them.

Phil was also cool, maily because he hung out with Tommy. Phil had become a stud too. Chuckie was better looking now. His hair still flew everywhere but his braces were gone and face looked better. He was of course a senior.

Lil was going out with Chuckie. She was the hottest girl in school, even the seniors agreed. Kimi was Lil's best friend and very hot and beautiful as well. Angelica and Susie were in college and Dil a sophmore.

Phil walked down the halls headed to the final period of the day. He walked in and sat in his usual seat next to Tommy. Behind them were Lil and Kimi.

"So," Tommy turned around to Lil and Kimi. "Kimi. I heard that Brendon asked you out?"

"Yeah." Kimi replied. "Chuckie already had his 'talk' with him though."

Tommy chuckled turning back around as the teacher walked in. "Hello class." he said. "I am now going to write pointless science related material on the board. Enjoy my back." he turned around ot reveal a paper taped to him that said, "Cockbite."

"So, Phil." Tommy whispered to Phil. "How's it been hanging?"

"What's going on?" Phil looked at him odd.

"Nothing." Tommy shrugged. "Just trying to make some friendly conversation." he rolled his eyes. "But seriously, it's friday so you wanna go to the movies tonight?"

"I guess." Phil sighed.

* * *

Tommy and Phil walked into the movie theater. Phil sighed looking around. Friday night was when everyone in school came to the movies. You could almost spot out anyone you knew. 

"What do you want to see?" Tommy asked.

Phil then saw Kimi with her new boyfriend, Brendon. "Who is this Brendon guy, anyway?"

"Brendon?" Tommy turned to Phil. "You know. He's the guy that kicked the principal in the shin and ran off for three days then came back and served detention for the rest of the year. I don't understand why the girls throw themselves at him. He's poor, he's dirty, he's-"

"Oh quit it." Phil rolled his eyes. "You don't always have to go on about poor people since you got rich all of a sudden."

"Come on." Tommy nudged him. "We don't like Brendon."

"Oh okay." Phil smiled.

"Anyway," Tommy said. "He's poor, dirty, and a trouble maker." Tommy said. "But me? I'm rich, ever since my dad sold his greatest invention."

"Who would've known that a colgne that smells like the ocean would make money." Phil said.

"Said he got the idea from an episode of Seinfeld." Tommy said as they walked over to the ticket booth, but the line was very long. "I wouldn't even count it as a real **invention**."

"Seems kind of feminine." Phil remarked.

The got two tickets for a movie(I don't know what movie, you decide) and went into the theater and sat waiting for the movie to start.

"Phil," Tommy whispered while eating popcorn. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Phil replied.

"Something's bugging you." Tommy said. "I know it." Tommy then looked up and his eyes widened. "Just a sec." he jumped up and ran out of the theater. Phil sighed waiting for him to return.

"Hi Phil." Phil looked up to see Kimi and Brendon.

"H-Hi." Phil replied.

"This is Brendon." Kimi smiled. "This is my friend, Phil."

"What's up?" Brendon shook Phil's hand as Tommy return with a red mark on his cheek. "Hey. You're Tommy right?"

"Uh, yeah." Tommy groaned sitting back down rubbing his cheek.

"I saw that last movie you made." Brendon said. "Revenge of the Morks. Good one dude. Blood looked real."

"I-It was." Tommy mumbled to himself.

"Nice to meet you." Brendon said as he and Kimi walked off.

"Bye Phil." Kimi said as the disappeared into the darkness of the theater.

Phil looked over to the red mark on Tommy's face. "Jordan Banks?"

"Oh yeah." Tommy rubbed his cheek. "The one girl in school that don't want me." he sighed. "Do you think her boobs are real?"

"Banks?" Phil chuckled. "Doubtful." he then shrugged. "Well, I dunno. They could be. They look awfully real but I just don't think a girl can progress through puberty in one weekend...and in her junior year."

"Phil." Tommy said. "When Brendon and Kimi were over here, what was wrong with you?"

"Brendon." Phil replied.

"Brendon?" Tommy asked. "He ain't so bad. He liked my last movie. Thought the blood looked real."

"It was real, T." Phil said. "Cow blood. And I swear, I'm never being in one of your movies again."

"Was it salty?" Tommy asked.

"Tasted more sweet than salty." Phil answered forgetting his anger. "But, uh, anyway. Brendon. I don't trust him."

"I don't trust him either." Tommy sighed. "He's crazy. Literally, I think. But, accept that Kimi likes him, dude. It's not like you like her or anything."

"I don't." Phil glared at him.

"I know." Tommy smirked. "Exactly as I just said. Moron." he rolled his eyes.

* * *

The next day, Saturday... 

Tommy and Lil were playing one on one in soccer in teh DeVille's backyard.

"So I says to the guy," Tommy said as he kicked the soccer ball. "Buddy. Let go of my taco."

"Interesting dream, T." Lil said blocking the ball from her goal. She then kicked it right past Tommy into the net.

"Nice shot." Tommy smiled at her. She had her now longer hair up in a ponytail and was wearing a pink tank top and shorts.

"Thanks." she smiled back. "I can't believe you quit the team." she said retrieving the ball from the net.

"Well," he said, "I was just getting tired of the team effort." He then chuckled, "What's the point of being on the team when** you're** on it?"

"Shut up." she smiled playfully punching him in the arm. "I'm not **that** good." she said throwing the ball over her shoulder, sending it straight into the goal. She then smiled and said, "I am pretty good, ain't I?"

Tommy laughed and nodded as Phil walked into the backyard. "Hey Phil." Tommy turned to him. "What's up?"

"Nothing much." Phil said. "Say T, Lil, you guys want to go check out that old shack that got destroyed in the storm about a month ago?"

"Why?" Lil asked.

"Just to see it." Phil said. "I've heard it's haunted." he grinned.

"Jesus, Phil." Tommy rolled his eyes. "We're juniors."

* * *

Tommy, Phil, and Lil were walking down a small dirt road. "Where is this place, Phil?" Lil asked angrily. "I'm getting tired. Plus I have a date with Chuckie in an hour." 

"Make Tommy carry you." Phil sighed.

"More like carry **me.**" Tommy rolled his eyes. "We've been walking for at least 45 minutes."

"Well, we're here." Phil said looking at an old house run down and destroyed. "Who's car is that?" he pointed to a red Mustang sitting in front of the house.

"That's Brendon's car." Lil looked at it odd.

The three snuck over to the house and looked in the window. "See anything?" Tommy asked.

"You have eyes." Lil smirked. "Look around."

"I am." he sighed. "But I see nothing." his eyes then widened. "Wait. What's that?"

They all saw Brendon and Kimi walk through a door and begin making out. Phil and Tommy grinned mischeivously as Lil rolled her eyes and turned away from the window.

"I can't believe you two." she growled.

Tommy rolled his eyes and grabbed her head turning it back to the window. "Watch, Lillian."

"Okay." she shrugged watching. "Oh my God."

Brendon grabbed Kimi's butt and she slapped him but Brendon didn't stop. He began being very agressive, kissing her hard. He then tried to take her shirt off but she kneed him in the crotch. She ran to the door but Brendon grabbed the back of her shirt and slung her towards him. She fell onto the floor and Brendon climbed on top of her and began kissing her again. Kimi slapped him then punched him in the face and threw him off. She ran for the door.

Tommy, Phil, and Lil then looked around the corner of the building to see Kimi run out the door and jump into Brendon's Mustang. She started it and drove off quickly, disappearing down the path. Brendon then ran out running down the path to chase his car and girlfriend.

Tommy, Phil, and Lil all sat down outside the building next to the wall leaning up against it. "Oh my God." Lil said looking at the bright sun. "In broad day light? Who does that?"

"Lil." Phil glared at her. "Kimi just got sexually harrassed."

"What should we do?" Tommy asked covering his mouth with his hand. "I mean, we're in high school for God's sakes! We can't just-"

"What?" Lil asked. "Call the police? Tell the parents?"

"We have to tell someone." Phil said.

"No." Tommy said. "Kimi may want this to be a secret."

"No, Tommy." Phil glared at him. "This is important. Brendon has to go to jail. He'll do this again. To Kimi and other girls. Imagine if he did it to...uh...Lil!"

"Me?" Lil turned to him. "Excuse me, but I know how to defend myself. I've trained for it. In fact, I wish someone would sexually harrass me just so I'd have the chance to use my techniques."

"Don't say that." Tommy told her. "Phil's right. But so am I."

"Sure think alot of yourself, eh Tommy?" Phil sighed.

"No, he is right." Lil said. "So are you Phil. Kimi may not want anyone to know. If we told, she'd find out we did it and think we were spying."

"Yeah." Phil nodded. "I don't know what we should do."

"Let's promise not to tell anyone." Lil said.

"Okay." Tommy sighed.

"Give me your hands." she said to the two picking up a piece of sharp metal lying next to the house.

"Heh heh." Tommy looked at her odd. "Whatcha doin' there, Lil?"

"Going to make a blood promise. A **blood** promise." she said. "Now both of you! Stick out your hands!"

"We're not ten anymore, Lil." Phil said. "That's the kind of things you-"

"Stick'em out!" she shouted.

Tommy then began to giggles and whispered something in Phil's ear. Phil glared at him and punched him in the arm. "Pervert." he rolled his eyes. "Lil, we're not letting you cut us. Especially with a piece of metal!"

"Fine." Lil threw the jagged metal over her shoulder. "Look." she pointed to a hole in the side of the cabin. "Let's check it out."

"I think Lil doesn't want to grow up." Tommy sighed following her over to the hole. Phil sighed following them. Lil crawled through but Tommy and Phil stayed put.

"Awesome!" they heard her yell. "Guys come in here!"

Tommy and Phil looked at eachother, shrugged, and crawled through.They were in a big room. No doors or windows. As far as they could tell, that hole was the only way in and out.

"Neat." Tommy smiled at the place. "Like a secret hiding place."

"This place is cool." Phil nodded in agreement.

"We should make this a memory." Lil smiled at both of them.

"Lil." Phil said. "Are you afraid that when we grow up, we won't be friends? Is that why you want to go on all these adventures and have fun and-"

"Sure, Phil." Lil crossed her arms. "I'm afraid of growing up. That's why I keep a shrine of a stuffed rabbit in my closet."

"Lillian!" Phil shouted. "You promised." he said pitifully.

"You have a shrine of a rabbit in your closet?" Tommy chuckled to Phil. Phil glared at him and rolled his eyes.

"Okay Lil." he said. "How should this dirty, nasty, unholy place be a childhood memory?"

"I have an idea." she smiled. She reached through the hole and grabbed the piece of metal then walked over to a wall. She began to carve into the wood, L.D.

"What's that stand for?" Tommy asked. Phil and Lil turned to and stared at him like he was an idiot. "Ohhh." he nodded. "Initials. I see."

She handed the metal to Phil who carved his initials, P.D. Phil handed it to Tommy who carved T.P. "Well?" Phil said to Lil. "Happy?"

"Guys." Lil said. "I'm just afraid that...we'll never be friends again."

"What?" Tommy asked.

"That after high school, we'll go our seperate ways and never see eachother again." she sighed. "I just want some memories of my friends."

"Well, I'm your brother." Phil said. "We'll see each other plenty."

"Fine." Lil rolled her eyes. "Friend! Tommy, you're apperantly my only friend."

"Okay." Tommy grinned putting his arm around her. She laughed and took his arm off and crawled out of the building. Tommy sighed as Phil walked up to him.

"Keep trying, dude." Phil chuckled.

"Seriously?" Tommy grinned.

"Hell no." Phil swung around with an angry expression. His face turned to a smile and they both climbed out the hole.

* * *

Monday... 

Tommy and Kimi were sitting next to eachother in math. They were the only two of the group that had math that period. Tommy noticed Kimi hadn't talked all day or any part of the day Sunday. He knew not to say anything but noticed her arm was bruised.

"Kimi?" he whispered as the teacher lectured. "Are you okay?" he asked. Kimi nodded with out glancing at him. "You sure?" She nodded again. "Sure?" she nodded again, looking at him this time. "Really?"

"Yes!" she whispered angrily. "I'm freakin' fine, Tommy."

Later that day, it was lunch time...

Tommy got his tray of food and sat down across from Lil and Chuckie. "What's up, guys?" he made small talk sitting down. He rolled his eyes as Chuckie and Lil mumbling to eachother. "Please, guys." Tommy chuckled.

Chuckie stopped flirting with her and turned to Tommy and smiled. "Hey T." he then frowned. "Do either of you know what's wrong with Kimi?"

Tommy and Lil looked at eachother nervously and shook their heads. Chuckie looked at them odd as Phil sat down next to Tommy. "Guys." he smiled. "Check this out." he put a pea in his nose. He closed his other up and said, "Wanna bet I can hit Diane?"

"Sure." Lil grinned.

Phil blew the pea out of his nose and it landed on Diane's head, without her even noticing. They all began laughing. "Excellent." Phil grinned.

"Phil," Chuckie said. "Any idea what's wrong with Kimi?"

"No." Phil said not looking at him. Kimi then walked over to them and Phil scooted over for Kimi to sit down. She sat down next to him and slowly began eating her food. "Kimi?" he tapped her on the shoudler. "You okay?"

"Uh huh." she replied without looking up.

"Kimi." Chuckie said. "Are you sure you're okay? You've been acting funny."

"I'm fine." she looked up at Chuckie. "Really." Kimi then got up, put her tray away and walked out the door.

"I'll talk to her." Lil said standing up following Kimi.

"Guys," Chuckie said. "I know you know that there's something wrong with Kimi."

"We know nothing." Phil sighed. "Really."

Chuckie looked him in the eye and sighed. "Okay." he sighed. "Okay."

* * *

Phil was walking home the day. One his way home, he walked by the Finster house. He glanced over at it as he walked by. It was Monday. Chaz and Kira both worked at the Java Lava on Monday and Chuckie usaully helped. He then noticed a red Mustang parked in the driveway. 

"That's odd." Phil said to himself. "I figured she would have given it back by now." He then saw the front door was open and Kimi's backpack lying in the door way. "Kimi?" he ran to the door, dropping his backpack and books. "Kimi?" he called out through the house.

Phil turned a corner of the living room to see Brendon grabbing at Kimi. She was screaming trying to get away from him.

Phil snuck around into the kitchen and grabbed a butcher knife from a rack. He stared at it and looked into the living room. He couldn't see them, but he heard them. Brendon and Kimi still didn't know he was there. Phil walked into the living room holding the butch knife. Kimi then threw Brendon off her. He fell onto the floor, with his arm spread out. Phil then jabbed the knife down through Brendon's hand.

"Son of a bitch!" Brendon screamed seeing the knife in him. He couldn't move his hand. The butcher knife had gone right through his hand and was stuck in the floorboard.

Kimi ran over to Phil and hugged him tight, tears running down her face. She dug her face into him, still crying. Phil watched Brendon struggle and moan then realized what was going on and put his arms around her, hugging her back.

Phil broke the hug and walked over to Brendon. He jerked the knife out and stuck it to Brendon's neck. "Never come around here again." he whispered to Brendon.

Brendon nervously got up and ran out the door.

"Phil!" Kimi ran and hugged him again. "Please don't tell anyone! Don't tell Chuckie! My parents! Tommy or Lil! Or even Dil or your parents!"

"I won't tell anyone." Phil said. "If that's what you want."

"Please." Kimi whispered still crying. "Don't tell anyone."

* * *

"Ah crap." Phil sighed. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone." 

"But I already knew." Tommy said taking the last drink of his beer and opening another. "I never told anyone. Did you?"

"No." Phil replied. "Not a soul. Lil didn't either."

"But I'll never forget that." Tommy sighed. "Kimi Finster **almost **got raped."

"Yep." Phil replied opening a new beer. He looked down at the deer to see it sleeping.

"Your story put it to sleep." Tommy chuckled.

"Let's go." Phil said.

"Wait." Tommy stopped him. "That's how you fell in love with her?"

"I was always protective over her." Phil said. "But, saving her life and her trusting me and hugging me. I never felt the same about her again. I fell in love with her."

"You never mentioned how Lil and Chuckie broke up in your story." Tommy said.

"Do you not know?" Phil asked chuckling. "Lil got tired of him so told him she was a slut." Phil and Tommy both began laughing and sighed. "You're right about one thing, T."

"Wassat?"

"We do have some good friends." Phil nodded. "We do indeed."

* * *

Later that night... 

Tommy, Phil, Dil, and Chuckie walked into Tommy's apartment. All the girls were in there with pillows over their faces but they all jumped up when the guys walked in.

"Thank God!" Lil yelled running and hugging Tommy. "Eww. You smell like poo."

"Look what we shot." Chuckie grinned holding up the deer meat that they had bought from the store.

"Who shot it?" Kimi asked.

"Dil." Tommy smiled at his brother.

"Well," Dil said. "I deserve a reward, yes. But, I'm so freakin' tired. Come on Chuckie." the two walked out the door.

"I'm going to go to bed." Kimi sighed walking into her room. "Night, guys."

"Good night." Phil mumbled sighing as Angelica and Susie also left. Phil looked over to Mikey in his playpen and smiled. "Ya know something, T."

"Wassat?"

"Quit saying that." Phil glared at him. "But, um, I really do want a family."

"I'm glad." Tommy grinned.

"You guys didn't shoot that deer, did you?" Lil grinned sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Lord no." Tommy smiled sitting down next to her and Phil sat down across from them.

"What do you think we are?" Phil chuckled. "Men?"

"Yes." Lil nodded. Tommy and Phil burst out laughing.

"Hey Lil." Phil said then started whispering. "Did you ever tell anyone?"

"About what?" she asked.

"Kimi." Tommy whispered. "When we saw her get harrassed."

"I never told anyone." Lil said. "But I never forgot about it. And I wanted to."

"Me too." Phil nodded.

"You guys wanna go do something?" Tommy asked.

"It's ten o'clock at night." Lil sighed.

"I know." Tommy shrugged. "But I have an idea of what you all would like to do."

* * *

Tommy, Phil, and Lil walked up to the old run down shack, Tommy holding a flashlight. "Can we fit?" Tommy asked shining the flashlight on the hole. 

"I can." Lil smirked. "I'm not a fat drunk." she mumbled crawling through.

"I'm not fat." Tommy glared at her then crawled through followed by Phil. "Wow." he smiled at the three sets of initials. "They're still there."

"I can't believe it." Lil smiled touching them. "Lillian DeVille. Phillip DeVille. Tommy Pickles."

Tommy sighed smiling. "Well," he said. "I'm done."

"Me too." Phil blew hard. "I just followed you guys here."

"I've been ready to leave." Lil said.

They all turned back to the hole but sitting in it was a racoon. It growled at them and hissed as Tommy shined the light on it. "Uh." he looked at it odd. "There's a racoon in the way." he sighed. "Crud."

"What do we do?" Lil asked.

"We could wait it out." Phil shrugged. "It'll leave eventually."

* * *

The next morning... 

The racoon was asleep but Tommy, Phil, and Lil were wide awake with their eyes reds and dry. They snuck by the racoon and crawled out.

"That was fun." Phil sighed. They began walking away from the cabin.

"Hit it!"

"What was that?" Tommy asked. Suddenly, the building exploded in a fiery explosion sending the three flying forward into the dirt. "What the hell was that?"

"Are you three okay?" a construction worker walked over to them.

Tommy, Phil, and Lil got up and began breathing very hard. Phil spoke, "What in God's name happened?"

"This place has been marked with demolition for weeks." the man shrugged. "You guys got out just in time." he then chuckled. "Had no idea you were in there. We could've blown you up."

They all three turned around to the building-no-more and sighed. "There goes some memories." Lil sighed right as a piece of wood landed in front of them. Lil picked it up and smiled. It was the small section of wall that had the initials.

"Aww." Tommy hugged her from behind. "You get to keep the memories."

Right then, a racoon's tail landed on Lil's head. "AHHHH!" she screamed throwing it off and began beating her hair with her hand.

"It's okay, Lil." Phil said picking up the tail. "It's dead...probably."

"Let's just go home." Lil said shaking. "I've had enough excitement for one day."

As they walked down the dirt path, now infested with construction workers and bulldozers, Phil said. "I wonder if Kimi ever told anyone."

"I doubt it." Lil said smiling at the wood in her hands. "I'm going to keep this safe."

"Along with my screwdriver, that you took from Mikey?" Tommy asked. "And that old reptar, the bubble gum that you choked on in fourth grade, your first sweet little pink bow, Dil's passifier, Phil's robosnail, Chuckie's first pair of glasses, Kimi's diary that she 'lost' in sixth grade, Angelica's Cynthia doll that she as well 'lost' in eigth grade, Susie's sucker, and that picture of the whole gang at the pool that one day that conviently led us to couples?"

"Yes." Lil glared at him.

"You stole all that stuff?" Phil asked.

"Yes." Lil replied. "I wanted memories." she rolled her eyes.

"And what picture that led to couples?" Phil asked.

"When we was ten." Lil said. "At the pool. Tommy was holding me in his arms, Kimi was on your shoulders, Angelica was dunking Chuckie, and Dil was drowning with Susie laughing for some reason."

"Why was she laughing?" Phil asked.

"I actually think she was laughing at Angelica and Chuckie." Tommy said. "If not, well, heh heh, she's going to hell for sure."

* * *

**Enjoy? Gooood. Keep reading to keep enjoying...if you like it. If you don't, read it anyway.**


	33. Mikey's First Word

Chapter 33

Phil walked into Tommy's apartment to see Tommy and Lil making out. They jumped up and Lil yelled, "Hi Phil, how ya doing?"

"Wassup!" Tommy shouted smiling innocently.

"Uhhh." Phil looked at them odd. "Yeah, okaay. I was just wondering if you guys would let me baby sit Mikey."

"How come?" Tommy asked.

"Remember how we was talking about families?" Phil asked.

"Awww." Lil smiled. "You guys were discussing families? That's sweet. Do you want one Phil?"

"Lil," Phil said. "You was in the room when I brought itup."

"Ohhh." Lil nodded. "You was talking about you? Well, I never thought that'd happen."

"Yeah, whatever." Phil sighed. "But can I please?"

"Sure, Phil." Tommy nodded. "Just don't drop him on his head."

Phil and Lil glared at him and Lil said, "We only did it once to Dil."

"Uh huh." Tommy rolled his eyes.

"By the way, Phil." Lil said. "Mom called and said that next week she's having a family reunion. And you're not invited."

"WHAT?" Phil shouted.

"Don't worry." Lil calmed him. "She told me to bring Tommy and a **friend**. You can be the friend I bring." Lil said.

"I'm really gonna tell Mom off." Phil said. "I mean seriously, not invite me to a family reunion? That's low for my mother! For any mother! What the hell is her problem?"

"Maybe if you hadn't had sex with your girlfriend on the living room couch while Mom was in the kitchen, she wouldn't think you're such a perverted dumb ass." Lil smirked.

"The couch?" Tommy turned to him. "I thought it was in your bedroom."

* * *

Kimi was in her new office at Fashion 'N' Love company building. She smiled at her computer, desk, picture of herself, and the big plant in the corner. 

Angelica then walked in and sighed of being bored. "This is boring."

"Yeah." Kimi leaned back in her chair. "I'm gonna call Phil!" she smiled reaching for the phone but Angelica grabbed it.

"No!" she shouted. "Do you remember what we talked about as we were kicked out of Johnny's? Play hard to get, girl. Besides, he'll just make you miserable again."

"Not to hit on him." Kimi said. "To hang out. Phil and I are like best friends."

"Sooo?" Angelica rolled her eyes. "Kimi, Phil hurt you and-"

"Angelica." Kimi said. "You're sure acting like you don't like him."

"Are you accusing me of hating Phil DeVille?" Angelica asked. "And Tommy, Chuckie, and Dil?"

Kimi stared at her blankly and sighed, "I'm getting back to work."

* * *

Phil waved a rattle in front of Mikey's face in Phil's apartment. They were both in the floor. 

"Hello, Mikey." Phil smiled as he waved the rattle. Mikey just stared blankly into Phil's eyes. "Mikey. Mikey! Hello!" The baby continued staring blankly. "Are you even alive?" Phil asked picking him up and setting him on the couch. "Hungry?" Phil walked over to the fridge and opened it. A jar fell out and landed on his foot.

* * *

Lil was in her office staring at the computer. She was bored and had no work to do. Suddenly the phone rang startling her. She sighed picking it up. 

"What?" she said into it.

"Lil!" Phil yelled. "We have a slight-no don't say it again!"

"What is it?" she stood up. "What's wrong?"

"Dear God, please make him stop!"

"Phil?"

"Mikey, well he said his first word."

"Really?" Lil cheered. "I can't believe I missed it! What was it?"

"Well, I opened the fridge door and a jar fell on my foot and I said some things."

Lil sighed rolling her eyes. "Phil...what did you say in front of Micheal L. Pickles?"

"I kind of said...well...I said a word to the jar and he must have over-crap! Quit saying it!"

"Phil?" Lil shouted. "What did you say to my child?"

"Hey, what's the L stand for in Mikey's name?" Phil asked changing the subject.

"It stands for Louis." Lil said, falling for Phil's sudden change of subject. "Micheal Louis Pickles. Tommy wanted it because of naming him after Grandpa Lou. Tommy's middle name is also Louis...which I didn't know until the day Mikey was born."

"You didn't know Tommy's middle name until Mikey was born?" Phil asked.

"You probably didn't either." Lil sighed.

"I didn't until you told me a couple seconds ago and I already forgot." he replied.

"Wait a sec." Lil said. "You changed the subject you freak! What did Mikey say?"

"Mikeysaidthefword." Phil mumbled very quickly.

"What?" Lil asked not understanding him.

"Mikeysaidabadwordwhichwasthefword."

"Huh?" Lil asked.

"Mikey said..."

"Yes?"

"...he said..."

"Yes?"

"...a bad word..."

"Uh huh."

"...which was..."

"Out with it!"

"Mikey said the F word!" Phil yelled.

Lil stared blankly at nothing and dropped the phone. She sat down in her chair as Kimi walked in and looked at her odd.

Kimi picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"

"Who is this?" Phil said on the other line freaked out.

"Who's this?"

"You answer first, freak."

"Yeah right!" Kimi shouted. "You're the freak!" she yelled slamming the phone down. "What's wrong , Lil?"

Lil got up, grabbed her coat and walked out.

* * *

Tommy cheerfully walked into Phil's apartment humming Sanford and Son theme song. He smiled until he saw Lil strangling Phil and Mikey smiling as he watched. Tommy sighed, opened the fridge and grabbed a beer then sat down next to Mikey on the couch and watched as he drank his beer. 

"Hey." Tommy nodded to Mikey. "What's up?"

"I'm sorry!" Phil shouted as Lil shook his head holding his neck. She stopped and punched him in the stomach. "Ow!"

"You jerk!" she yelled. "There's no way you're coming to the reunion now."

"What'd he do?" Tommy asked.

"He taught Mikey his first word." Lil said breathing very hard.

"What word?" Tommy asked wanting to know as Mikey said it. Tommy turned to him with his eyes wide open. "Lillian." he said. "Please take Mikey and leave for I am about to use very foul language and do foul things to DeVille." Lil nodded taking Mikey and left Phil's apartment.

"Come on, T." Phil said stepping back. "It was an accident."

Tommy stood up and stared at Phil. "You son of a bitch!" he yelled tackling Phil. He began punching him as Phil threw him off. Phil tackled him and held him down as Kimi casually walked in then just stared at them blankly.

"Kimi!" Phil yelled. "Get the beer! Get out!"

"What's going on?" Kimi asked grabbed Phil and Tommy by their ears.

"Ow ow ow ow ow." they both groaned.

"What is going on?" Kimi asked.

"Phil taught Mikey his first word, ugh...ow." Tommy said.

"Aw, what was it?" Kimi smiled.

"The F word." Tommy said.

"Oh." Kimi said letting go of their ears. "Carry on then." she said walking out.

* * *

"I can't believe I let you come." Lil mumbled as she, holding Mikey, Tommy, Phil, and Kimi walked up to the DeVille house front door. 

"Why did Kimi come?" Tommy asked.

"I dunno." Kimi shrugged.

"I didn't mean to teach him that word." Phil said.

Mikey then smiled and said, "F-jackhammer noise-k."

"Dammit!" Tommy shouted.

"Dammit!" Mikey repeated.

They all turned to Mikey then looked at Tommy who smiled innocently. "Oops." he shrugged.

"Ha!" Phil pointed at him. "Now you taught him a new word!"

"Christ." Lil rolled her eyes.

"Christ." Mikey repeated smiling.

They all then turned to him again then at Lil. "Ha!" Phil and Tommy pointed at her.

"I'm allowed to." Lil shrugged. "Let's just go in."

"Dammit." Mikey said again.

"We can't go in there with a one year old that knows three cuss words." Tommy said.

"Looks like I'm the only one who hasn't taught him a new word." Kimi grinned. "I wonder how he caught onto three different words that fast?" she then giggled. "I know he didn't get that from his dumb ass father."

"Ass." Mikey giggled.

"Crap!" Kimi stomped her foot. "Four freakin' bad words!"

"What are we gonna do?" Tommy asked pulling his hair. "I'm not walking into my wife's family reunion with a baby that knows four bad words!"

"I could take him home." Kimi said.

"Really?" Lil asked. "Thank you, Kimi, thank you." Lil handed Mikey to Kimi.

"Sure, no problem." Kimi smiled. "But hurry before I accidently teach him more words." she said walking off as Lil, Phil, and Tommy walked into the house but there was no one.

"Hey pumpkin." Betty walked out of a room and kissed Lil on the forehead. "Tommy." she kissed Tommy on the cheek then saw Phil. "Phil." she hesitated but kissed Phil on the cheek.

"Uh huh." Phil nodded fakely and walked off.

Betty sighed and said, "Um, go to the backyard." she said.

Tommy and Lil walked into the backyard and Tommy gulped at all the people. There was about three dozen. "Large family."

"Yes." Lil nodded. "You see, my Mom's family is Catholic. They don't believe in birth control."

"You're Catholic?" Tommy asked.

"No." Lil nodded. "My mom is. Phil and I were an accident." she smiled. "So, actually, I'm about half Catholic."

"I see." Tommy nodded. "Wish I had known that earlier. I hate condoms. They aggravate me to death!" he stomped his foot.

Phil walked into the backyard and sighed as he walked over to the grill where Howard was cooking burgers. "Hey." Phil sighed.

"Hey Phil." Howard smiled at him. "Have you been here long?"

"Nah." Phil shook his head. "I wasn't even invited to the damn thing."

"What?" Howard looked at him odd.

"Yeah, I just said that to piss you off." Lil said as she walked by.

"Son of a-" Phil glared at her walking by as Tommy flipped him off following Lil as he laughed. Phil turned back to Howard. "Nevermind. I guess I was."

"How's it been going, Phil?" Howard asked.

"Good, I guess." Phil shrugged. "I got stuck in a tree stand the other day."

"Really?" Howard asked. "That's...interesting."

"Yeah." Phil nodded. "I wish I could patch things up with Mom."

"That won't be happening any time soon." Howard said. "She's been tore up since that day. She will hardly talk to me."

"I can't believe this!" Phil stomped his foot.

Meanwhile...

Tommy had a beer talking to one of Lil's family members as Betty talked to Lil.

"So," Betty said, "Where's Mikey?"

"Oh." Lil's eyes widened. "He, uh, didn't come. Kimi's babysitting."

"Oh." Betty frowned. "I was hoping to see him." she then smiled. "Oh well. I'll see him later. Just enjoy yourself, pumpkin."

"You know who really needs some comfort?" Lil said. "Phil. Phillip DeVille."

"He's fine." Betty shrugged.

"So," Tommy was talking to Lil's cousin, Barry. "I've heard about you before."

"Yes." the man replied. He had a blue suit on witha pink flower. His hair was shiny and flat. "I'm Barry. First cousin of Phil and Lil."

"Yeah." Tommy nodded. "I'm Lil's-"

"Boyfriend?" Barry asked.

"Husband." Tommy corrected him.

"Hm?" Barry looked at him confused. "Why wasn't I invivted to the wedding?"

"First or second?" Tommy asked. Barry stared blankly and walked off. Tommy watched him go and said, "What'd I say?"

Back to Phil...

Lil walked over to him and sighed. "I tried, Phil."

"I'm mad at you." Phil glared at her. "Telling me that I wasn't invited."

"It was funny." she shrugged, "But, I'm sorry." she then punched him in the arm. "Do you forgive me, little brother?"

"By two minutes." Phil rolled his eyes then smiled. "But, yeah, I forgive ya."

"I wish Mom would forgive you." Lil sighed. "I hate seeing you like this."

"Nah, I'm fine." Phil smiled at her. "I guess you're just the perfect spawn."

"You ever seen the movie Spawn?" Lil asked changing the subject but Phil glared at her. "Uh, sorry."

"I don't know what to do." Phil rubbed the back of his head. "I want Mom to love me again."

"She does, Phil." Lil put her hand on his shoulder. He brushed it off and walked away. Lil then began to think. She smiled then stomped her foot. "Curse my love for my sibling."

"What are you doing?" Tommy walked up to her.

"Tommy," Lil turned to him. "I'm sorry for what I'm about to do."

"Oh my God." Tommy backed up. "What's going on?"

"I have to do something for my brother." Lil said. "Something that will hurt our child."

"I'm not letting you kill my son." Tommy crossed his arms.

"No, no, no." Lil sighed. "I...well...just watch." Lil ran into the house and grabbed the cordless phone then ran back out. She dialed her number waiting for Kimi to answer.

"Hello?" Kimi answered.

"Kimi?" Lil asked. "This is Lil. Is Mikey still cussing?"

"A little."

"Put him on the phone." Lil said. "Mom!" Betty walked over to them. "Here, Mikey wants to talk to you."

"Really?" Betty smiled grabbing the phone and putting it to her ear. Her eyes then widened and she handed the phone to Lil. "Honey, did you know that Mikey-"

"Knows a few words?" Lil grinned. "Yeah." she nodded with a big smile on her face.

"Lil," Tommy whispered to her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I guess since I'm such a bad parent with a child that cusses at age 1, Phil's not such a loser anymore, eh?" Lil smiled.

* * *

Phil, Lil, Tommy, and Kimi were in Doug's Diner. Lil was holding Mikey. 

"Well," Phil said. "Now Mom's convinced she has two loser kids."

"Oh well." Lil shrugged. "Here." she handed Mikey to Tommy. "I need a drink. Some vodka or something." and she walked out.

"So," Kimi said, "Phil's a sex addict loser, Lil lets her child cuss, and Tommy's married to her. In the eyes of Betty, of course."

"Yes." Phil glared at her. "I just wish something right could happen in our loser lives."

"Our?" Tommy asked. Tommy then remembered kissing Laura while going out with Lil, getting bit three times by a snake buying man, refusing to have a baby, getting drunk every night in college, being poisoned in Miami, letting Laura live with Phil, having a stripper in the apartment, and accidently divorcing Lil. "I'll be." he commented on his memories.

Kimi rolled her eyes then began to think. Letting Phil be a teacher, letting him substiture for her, admitting her love for him in front of a third grade classroom, keeping her relationship with Phil a secret, almost getting Phil killed by Chuckie, sleeping with Tommy in college, hanging with Z, coming home from Miami for Phil to find him with a girlfriend, marrying Z in a 'could have been' vision, getting drunk with the girls, almost calling a stripper, and of course spying on Tommy and Lil having sex.

Phil sat there then thought. Becoming the worst actor ever, dating a gay hooker who won't leave him alone, trying to kill Tommy, persuading Tommy to forget about Lil, becoming a horrible teacher, admitting love for Kimi in front of a third grade class, doing it with Kimi on a boat with Chuckie in the next room, not going to college, accusing Kimi of loving Z, faking a girlfriend, persuading Tommy to call a stripper, spy on Tommy and Lil having sex, and expressing his true feelings for everyone and everything on a hunting trip.

"I got alot." his eyes widened.

**Next chapter up! Hope you enjoy. BTW, the reason I never actaully said the F word in the story was because I didn't want to beef up the rating. R&R**


	34. Good News and Bad Times

Chapter 34

Tommy, Phil, and Dil were at Doug's Diner, at a table. Phil was reading a magazine while Tommy and Dil talked.

"So, T," Dil said, "Any luck with plays or movies or any other crap like that?"

"Nah." Tommy shook his head sipping some coffee. "I'm about to give up."

"Never give up." Phil said in a real heroic voice without even taking his eyes off his magazine. Tommy stared at him blankly and then Phil leaned in and pointed to a word in the magazine. "Hey Tommy, what's this word?"

Tommy looked and glared at him. "Slow, Phil."

"So I'm a little slow, just tell me the word." Phil growled.

"The word is slow." Tommy sighed. He then whispered to Dil. "Phil wasn't always this stupid. But, ever since we got back from college our junior year, he has been."

"While you all were gone, I _accidently_ shut the garage door on his head." Dil smiled. "After he told me about dropping me on my head."

* * *

Lil was at home, reading the mail. Mikey was in the playpen. "Bills." she sighed. "Bills. Bills. Junk mail. Jury duty." she then rolled her eyes but was then relieved it was for Kimi. 

Tommy walked in and sat down next to her. "Any mail worth having?"

"No." Lil sighed but then noticed an envelope adressed to Tommy from some adress in Hollywood. "What's this?"

Tommy grabbed it and opened it. His eyes widened and he cheered, "Yes!"

"What, what?" Lil asked smiling.

"About a month ago," he said, "I wrote a script for a movie and sent it into a studio." he said. "They wanna make my movie!"

"Yes!" Lil shouted jumping up.

"It says thattomorrow, I need to drive up to Hollywood to meet this director guy." Tommy said reading it. "That seems simple."

"This is so cool!" Lil cheered.

* * *

Phil was in his apartment watching TV when Kimi walked in. "Hi." she said sitting next to him on the couch. 

"Hey." he replied. "What's up?"

"Phil," Kimi sighed grabbing the remote control and turning off the TV. "Let me ask you something."

"Yeah?" he turned to her. "What is it?"

"Do you-" she then stopped and thought for a second. She looked at him and sighed, "-want to have dinner later?"

"Huh?"

"You know," she shrugged, "As friends? A friendly dinner?"

Phil shrugged, smiling, "Sure. How 'bout tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

Next day, night time...

Phil and Kimi were walking home from the dinner that they had. "Thanks for dinner, Phil." Kimi said as they walked throughthe night air.

"No problem." he shrugged. They both stopped as a man walked up to them.

"Alright, give me the purse." he pulled a pistol out from under his jacket and pointed it at them.

Kimi got nervous and stepped back but Phil started giggling and pushed the man aside. "Alright, buddy, step aside."

"Huh?" the guy looked at him odd.

"Tch." Phil shrugged. "Come on,Kimi." Phil grabbed her hand and began to walk but the thug stepped in front of them, pointing the gun.

"Give me the damn purse." he ordered to Kimi. "And your wallet." he said to Phil.

"Beat it." Phil glared at the guy. "We're not giving you crap!"

"Give it!" he grabbed Kimi's purse but she tried to hold it back. "Give it!" he shouted again. Kimi then punched him and took her purse back. He quickly raised the gun up and pulled the trigger but Phil dove and pushed Kimi out of the way.

**Sorry this chappie was so short. But, Read and Review and enjoy! **


	35. Always a Catch

Chapter 35

Tommy was in Angelica's car, which he had borrowed to drive to Hollywood. It was night time and he was driving home. It was very foggy out and he was the only one on the road.

"Sure am sleepy." he mumbled to himself. His cell phone then rang and he grabbed it and answered it. "Hello?"

"Tommy!" Lil yelled on the other side.

"Lil!" Tommy shouted for joy. "I got the job! I'm directing my movie! Isn't this great!"

"Phil's been shot!"

Tommy's eyes were wide open. He looked at the phone then straight ahead. "Hm." he pondered then put his ear back to the phone. "I'm sorry, say again?"

"Tommy!" Lil yelled. "Phil and Kimi were mugged and he shot Phil! He's in the hospital!"

"Oh my God!" Tommy yelled. "I'm almost home. I'll meet you at the hospital!"

"Okay." she replied. "Bye."

"Wait, Lil," Tommy stopped her before she hung up.

"Hm?"

"Lil . . . um, love you."

"Love you too, Tommy." she replied and hung up.

Tommy sighed throwing his phone into the back seat. He put his hand on his forehead. A tear rolled down his face. "Guess this isn't the best time for the bad news of my job."

* * *

Tommy ran into the waiting room of the hospital. Lil, Chuckie, Kimi, Angelica, Susie, and Dil were all there. He even saw Doug and Larry sitting with them.

"Doug? Larry?" Tommy walked over to them.

"Phil's our friend too, Tommy." Doug said.

Tommy shrugged and walked over to Lil and Kimi. "Well?"

"The bullet hit his stomach." Lil said. "The doctors say that there's a 80 chance he'll live."

"That's good." Tommy sighed sitting down. "What happened?"

"I invited Phil to dinner." Kimi said looking at the ground. "It's my fault. Then, I fought back when the guy tried to get my purse. He was aiming for me. It's my fault."

"No it's not." Lil put her arm around Kimi.

"So, Tommy," Dil came and sat by his brother. "How'd the Hollywood go?"

"I got a job." he smiled. "But," he made sure Lil wasn't listening. "There's a catch."

"Isn't there always?" Dil chuckled.

"Dil, this is serious." Tommy glared at him. "I have to move. Move to L.A."

"Huh?" Dil's mouth was wide open. "Well, you're obviously not going."

"Dil," Tommy sighed. "I have to. Lil's job isn't enough to support us. I have to."

"Tommy." Lil stood up. "I dropped off Mikey at your parents' place. I said I'd be back by eleven. So I'm gonna go get him then come back."

"Okay." Tommy replied smiling as she left. "Guys," he said to everyone. They all turned to him with puzzled looks. "I have to tell you all something."

"What is it, Tommy?" Doug asked.

Tommy turned and looked at Doug oddly, then turned back to the rest. "I . . . well, uh, have to move."

"Move?" Chuckie asked. "Move like, what, a block or two away?"

"Possibly even across town?" Angelica asked.

"Los Angeles." Tommy replied sighing.

"What?" they all screamed.

"L.A.?" Kimi asked. "That's a day's drive!"

"Why are you moving?" Susie asked.

"I got a job directing." he smiled. His smile turned to a dissatified frown when he saw no one happy for him. "I was expecting a little enthusiasm." he rolled his eyes.

"Oh, sorry! Good job!"

"Nice!"

"Alright, Tommy!"

"Anyway," Tommy said. "Don't tell Lil." he said.

"Why?" Kimi asked.

"Because," he sighed, "Her brother just got shot. I don't want anything else going wrong in her life right now. She's been having just a good time in her life lately. But, don't worry, if she doesn't want to go, I'm not going to."

"Tommy." Angelica said as she began to cry.

"I'm sorry guys." Tommy sighed again. "But, things change."

"Of course." Chuckie said looking at the ground.

"Growing up really changes everything." Kimi said as she began to cry.

* * *

It was the next morning. Everyone, including Lil and Mikey, were asleep in the waiting room. Kimi was the first to wake up. She rubbed her eyes looking around at everyone. She then walked towards Phil's room.

She slowly opened the door but then got an angry face when she saw him sitting up in bed watching Oprah.

"Phil." she growled.

"Huh?" he looked to her. "Hi Kimi."

Kimi grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. "Rest, Phil."

"I'm fine." he smiled.

"No." she glared at him. "Phil, I've lost you so many freakin' times and I won't again!" she yelled.

"Uhhh, what?" he looked at her oddly.

Kimi looked at his eyes and she began to cry. "Phil, I-"

"It's okay, Kimi." he held her hand and sat up completely in bad. "The bullet wound isn't even that bad. I'm not gonna die."

"I know." she replied. "It's just, everything is changing and-"

"What's changing?" Phil asked. "I'm fine. Nothing's gonna change."

"Okay." she nodded. "Okay." she sighed. "Phil, do you know why I invited you out to dinner?"

"For food?" he shrugged. "A free meal?"

"You idiot." she glared at him. "Phil, I'm still in love with you."

"Huh?"

Kimi just stared at him and he slowly brought his lips to her and kissed her. She broke away and looked at him. "Phil, are you just-"

"No, Kimi." Phil replied. "I do love you. But, I'm me. Ya really think I'd make the first move?" he chuckeld.

She laughed with him then got a straight face and looked at him odd. "Uh, yes."

"Never mind that." Phil smiled and kissed her passionately again.

"What?" they heard someone yell. Kimi ran to the door and Phil jumped out of bed. They both looked down the hall to see Lil angry at Tommy.

"Lil,"

"Tommy!" she shouted. "You already took the job without even asking me if I wanted to?"

"You don't have to go." he said. "I'll just drive up there and stay for a few days and come back on weekends and you know, stuff like that."

"No Tommy." she began to cry.

"What's going on?" Phil whispered to Kimi.

"They're moving."

"What?"

**Everyone who likes, loves, or just reads this story, I just want to tell you all that is approaching an end. Anyhow, R&R.**


	36. The Decision

Chapter 36

Back at Tommy and Lil's place, Tommy, Lil, and Mikey were there with Mikey in the playpen playing.

"Lil," Tommy said as she sat on the couch staring straight ahead. He sat down next to her. "I won't go. We won't go."

"Tommy," she turned to him. "No, this is your dream. All your life you wanted to make movies. Now you can. Besides, L.A. isn't that far. A day's drive tops. We could still visit and see everyone."

"So, what are you saying?" Tommy asked smiling.

"Let's go." Lil smiled back and kissed him passionately.

"Hot damn!" Mikey yelled. Tommy and Lil turned to him then to eachother. They shrugged and laughed.

* * *

Tommy walked into the hospital waiting room to see Dil and Kimi playing cards. "Hey guys." he smiled sitting down next to Dil. 

"Why are you so cheerful?" Dil asked throwing his cards down.

"Oh you'll find out in due time." he smiled. "And, the very situation reminds me of the song, 'All the Small Things'." he said rubbing his chin.

"Tell us." Kimi said.

"Okay." Tommy sighed in a very unhappy tone. "Lil and I . . . are moving to Los Angeles."

"WHAT?" they both shouted.

"Uh, ow." Tommy pointed to his ear after they yelled in it.

"Sorry." Kimi glared at him. "But, Tommy! How could you two move?"

"Yeah, you grew up here!" Dil shouted. "You've never lived anywhere else!"

"College." Tommy shrugged. "I lived at college."

"That's not the point!" Kimi shouted. "Tommy, you and Lil grew up here. You fell in love here. You had a child here!"

"It's not like I'm demolishing the city or anything!" Tommy threw his hands up. "I'm just moving to another city."

"But, it's a long way." Dil sank down in his chair.

"Guys, don't be like this." Tommy said. "Please. You don't think this has been hard enough already?"

Dil and Kimi sighed looking down at the floor. "I guess it has." Dil shrugged.

"You just don't understand!" Tommy yelled standing up. "I'm moving away from my parents. My family.My . . . friends." he said looking at them both with watery eyes. "My childhood."

"If you don't want to leave it all," a voice said. "Then why are you going?"

Tommy turned around to see Phil. "Phil." Tommy saw him.

"Tommy," Phil sighed. "You do what you want. So far your heart has led you to everything right. Everything good."

"What do you mean?" Tommy asked.

Phil smiled and said, "Should I expect a postcard?"

"Hell, once I get rich," Tommy grinned, "I'm moving you all up to Beverly Hills."

"I want Malibu." Dil mumbled.

"Shut up." Kimi glared at him. "You're lucky you're even getting Beverly Hills with your attitude."

"Tommy, my friend." Phil smiled at his friend. "Follow your heart. It led you to happiness. Lil. A child. And-"

"Phil," Tommy stopped him. "I don't think following your heart works with moving."

"Hm." Phil shrugged. "Oh well. Okay." he smiled hugging Tommy. Tommy smiled back at his friend hugging back.

* * *

Tommy and Lil were in their apartment. Kimi was also there. "So, when are you guys leaving?" Kimi asked as she held Mikey. 

"One week from today." Tommy smiled. "I sure am gonna miss this place."

"Can't believe you guys are gonna sell the apartment." Kimi sighed looking around. "Good times here."

"First time Lil and I had sex was on that couch right there." Tommy grinned pointing to the couch.

"Ew." Kimi backed away from it.

"Wait." Tommy began to ponder. "Or was it in the chair?" he pointed to the big chair. "Or on the floor?"

"In the bed, dumb ass." Lil rolled her eyes opening a beer.

"Beer, Lillian?" Tommy asked with a grin.

"Quiet you." she growled.

"What about the New Year's Resolution?" he asked chuckling.

"Failed that months ago." Lil shrugged taking a drink. "What about your's?"

Tommy just stared at her for a moment then turned around and sat on the couch. Kimi smiled, "What was his?"

"He wasn't gonna let me push him around anymore." Lil smiled. "In certain catergorys."

"Like what?" Kimi asked setting Mikey in his playpen.

"Alchohol, sex, and food." she shrugged.

Kimi sighed sitting down on the couch and then Lil sat down, with Tommy between the two. "Ya know guys," Tommy said. "I actually can't believe we're doing this." he smiled over to Lil.

"I can't either." Lil said. "I mean, I've lived here all my life. In this small little town. In-uh..."

"What the hell is this town called?" Tommy asked.

"It's called-" Kimi stopped and thought. "Huh..."

"Oh well." Lil shrugged. "But, everything that is me . . . is here."

Tommy turned and stared at her blankly. "What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know." Lil shook her head. "But, think about it. We're leaving everything."

"Yes." Tommy nodded. "But, is it what we want?"

They all three sighed and just stared straight ahead into the horizon . . . or the wall actually.


	37. Infection

Chapter 37

Phil walked into Tommy and Lil's apartment. But, rather than walking, he opened the door and helped himself in while sitting in a wheelchair.

"Need any help?" Tommy asked helping him close the door.

"Nah, I'm fine." Phil shrugged standing up out of the chair and walking over to the fridge. "I mean, it wasn't that bad. I'm fine."

"Phil, you were shot." Tommy sighed.

Phil shrugged again opening the fridge. He grabbed a beer but rather then open and drink it, he looked at it oddly and set it back in the fridge.

"What are you doing?" Tommy asked.

"I don't want one." Phil sighed. "Knowing that you and I will never again share a beer."

Tommy smiled and said, "Sure we will, Phil." then he added, "In fact, I promise you one last beer before I leave."

"Okay." Phil nodded.

Lil holding Mikey walked in. She rolled her eyes saying, "Phil, why won't you get some freakin' rest?"

"Yeah." Kimi walked in. "For dinner tonight at least." she smiled as Phil kissed her on the lips.

Tommy and Lil stared at them blankly then at each other. They began mouthing things to eachother such as "Huh?", "What the?", and "Did I miss something?"

Tommy then giggled, "Hello, what's this now?"

"Did we not tell you?" Phil asked breaking their kiss. "Oops, sorry bout that."

"I think I told ya." Kimi nodded.

"Hey guys." Chuckie walked in. "Kimi, Phil." he nodded in their direction.

"Does everyone know but us?" Tommy asked.

"Yes." Kimi nodded. "I'm positive that I told Susie and Angelica."

"I told Dil and Chuck." Phil shrugged. "Of all people, I can't believe we didn't tell you two."

"Me too." Tommy squinted his eyes glaring at them. "But, uh, anyway, I can't believe that we only have four more days with you guys."

"Me too." Phil nodded. "Man, those last three days sure went by fast."

"Shut up, Phil." Kimi glared at him. "I just can't believe it's all over."

"All over?" Chuckie asked. "It's not gonna all be over. We'll still see Tommy and Lil." he then sighed. "But as long as we're . . . well, uh, telling stuff." he thought about his words for a second then said. "I'm also moving."

"Come again." they all turned to him.

"Where to?" Kimi asked.

"Why?" Phil asked.

"When?" Lil asked.

Tommy sighed and said, "Are you following us?"

"I'm moving to San Francisco." he said. "Sam and Cody are moving and the only way I can see Frederick is if I go too. I have to stay with my son."

"True." Tommy shrugged. "I'd do the same." he looked at Mikey.

"Why?" Kimi shouted. "Why is this happening?"

"Things change my compadre." Dil walked in.

Phil stared at him for a moment and simply stated, "You're a dork, Dil."

Dil glared at him sitting down in a kitchen chair. "Who did it with a girl while her brother was in the next room on a shipwrecked _battleship_."

Phil just returned the glare as Tommy sighed, "I don't know why this is happening. But, as Dil, my spontaneous annoying dipstick of a brother said, things do change."

"Thanks bro." Dil said sarcastically to Tommy.

"No prob." Tommy nodded to his brother.

"I don't want to go." Lil turned to Tommy. "Let's not." she smiled.

Tommy stared at her for a second and sighed, "Lillian, you were so set on moving, you had most our stuff sent to our new house."

Lil sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine."

"Well, I guess I'll go cry." Kimi said standing up.

"Hey guys." Tommy walked over to Phil and Kimi. "I want you . . . I want you two to have our apartment." Tommy held out the key.

"Really?" Phil smiled. "Thanks, T." Phil reached for the key but Tommy jerked it away.

"Not til I move out, dumb ass." Tommy glared at him.

* * *

Tommy was at his kitchen table resting his head on it. The phone rang and he rolled his eyes picking it up. "Hello?" he replied. "Huh? Uh . . . what!" 

"Hey." Chuckie walked in. "What's up?"

Tommy hung the phone up and said. "That was Kimi. Phil was having pains so she took him to the hospitals. His blood is infected."

* * *

Tommy and Chuckie walked into the hospital waiting room where Kimi, Lil, and Dil were sitting. "Hey." Tommy greeted them. "What's the story?" 

Lil stared at him blankly for a moment then said, "Are you with the newspaper or something?"

Tommy glared at her and Chuckie sat down and asked, "How is he?"

"The doctors say it's just a blood infection." Kimi said. "Yeah, they said _just_. I'm like, aren't blood infections always bad?"

"Hmm." Dil pondered.

Angelica and Susie then walked in. "What's going on?" Susie asked.

"Phil has a blood infection from where that bastard shot him." Kimi growled.

"Ya know." Dil said. "What if it turns out that the dude that shot Phil ended up being someone we know . . . or one of us! That would be sooo cool."

Everyone else just stared at Dil as he smiled and got lost in his fantasy. "DIL!" Tommy yelled at him. "One more word out of you and you have to leave!"

"Sor-ry!" Dil threw his hands up and rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Angelica said.

"Any news on the guy that shot him?" Susie asked sitting down.

"No." Kimi shook her head. "We couldn't identify him."

"Lil," Tommy stood up looking at his watch. "I have to meet my agent but I'll be back later."

"Agent?" Chuckie asked.

"Cha." Tommy nodded. "I have an agent? Is that not too cool." he smiled. "Later guys." he said leaving the hospital.

"It'll be okay." Lil put her arm around Kimi.

"Excuse me." a doctor walked up to them. "You're with Phillip DeVille, correct?" he asked the gang.

"Yeah." Kimi nodded teary eyed.

"Phil's blood is highly infected and he has serious chance at . . . death." the doctor covered his mouth with his hand. "But I do have some good news."

"W-What?" Kimi asked.

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico." the doctor burst out laughing as a bunch of doctors and nurses behind him joined in the laughter.

"You jackass." Lil clenched a fist.

"Seriously though." the doctor wipeda tear away from laughing so hard. "Phil's blood is infected but nothing a simple operation cant fix."

Lil stood up and punched the doctor in the stomach. She then kneed his crotch and he fell onto the ground. "You're an ass." she growled at him. She then said to Kimi, "I think we need Wallace."

* * *

"Tommy," Doug sighed shaking his head as Tommy sat at the bar in Doug's Diner. "Can't believe you're moving." 

"Sometimes I wonder, Doug." Tommy said taking a drink of coffee. "Why do you speak to me?"

"Not sure." Doug shrugged. "So how much longer ya got?"

"Few days." Tommy sighed. "Can't believe I'm leaving it all. My parents. My old home. My friends. The diner."

"Moving's tough." Doug nodded. "How's Lil taking it all?"

Tommy stared at him for a moment then said, "Pretty well. Better than me."

"How's your relationship going with her?" Doug asked. "I mean really, how long's it been since you two had sex."

Tommy stared at Doug with almost an evil glare.

"Oh sorry, are you mad at me for asking?" Doug asked.

"No, I'm just trying to remember." Tommy said.


End file.
